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Brushing up on manners...

Etiquette Advice

Jay Remer - Stage of Life Etiquette CoachOur resident etiquette expert on shares insights on manners, civility, and etiquette that pertains to your life.

Stage of Life is pleased to have etiquette expert, Jay Remer, on its team.  Below you will find tips, advice and articles from Jay on important etiquette topics specifically tailored to each of the ten stage of life moments found here on

I have an etiquette questionWhether you're in high school, having a baby, getting married or about to retire, visit the page below for your appropriate life stage to read some interesting etiquette Q&A.

Pick Your Life Stage for Tailored Etiquette Articles

Etiquette for High School Students

Etiquette for Teenagers

Manners for High School StudentsArticles and tips on driving etiquette 101 for high school students and more.  Read etiquette questions about civility, manners and etiquette for or about teens.

Etiquette advice for or about teenagers

Etiquette for College Students

Etiquette for College Students

Manners for College StudentsArticles and tips on recycling, trash, and general caring or our planet etiquette and more.  Have an issue with your college roommate?  Are you and your parents not seeing eye-to-eye on an important issue?  Read college-life etiquette questions here.

Etiquette advice for or about college

Etiquette for Singles

Dating Etiquette - Manners for Singles

Manners for Being SingleArticles and tips for dating etiquette on finger foods and more.  Want some real answers to dating protocol tailored to you?  Read advice about dating life or the etiquette of being single.

Etiquette advice about dating

Etiquette for Weddings

Etiquette for Weddings

Wedding MannersArticles and tips on etiquette about wedding invitations and replies, benefits of using a wedding planner, and more.  Read wedding etiquette questions on this page.

Etiquette advice about weddings

Etiquette for Married Couples

Etiquette for Married Couples

Marriage EtiquetteArticles and tips on general RSVP etiquette and more.  Read about those tricky questions about in-laws or other touchy etiquette issues married couples must navigate here.

Etiquette advice for married couples

Etiquette for Home Owners

Etiquette for Homeowners

Homeowner MannersArticles and tips on etiquette for dealing with unannounced visits by neighbors and more.  Check out etiquette advice on unwanted house guest, dinner party protocol, and other real-life questions about etiquette for the home.

Etiquette advice for homeowners

Etiquette for Having a Baby

Etiquette for Baby

Manners about Baby and Parenting IssuesArticles and tips on the etiquette of thank-you cards and more.  Read the etiquette advice about pushy grandparents, Baby Shower etiquette and other baby related manners questions.

Etiquette advice about having a baby

Etiquette for Raising a Family

Etiquette for Families

Manners for FamiliesArticles and tips on teaching etiquette early to children, how to answer the phone, and more.  Read interesting etiquette questions dealing with family and children issues.  Manners are taught at get some advice on family etiquette here.

Etiquette advice for families
Etiquette for Grandparents

Etiquette for Grandparents

Grandparenting EtiquetteEtiquette articles and tips for grandparents including the manners on high and low tea and more.  Don't see eye to eye with your son or daughter-in-law about an issue regarding your grandchild?  Read etiquette advice on this page for Grandparents...

Etiquette advice for grandparents

Etiquette for Empty Nest and Retirement

Etiquette for Retirement

Manners in RetirementArticles and tips on the etiquette in how to handle poor service and more.  Hopefully be this stage in your life, you've got manners figured out, but take a look at these etiquette questions dealing with retirement or empty nest here.

Etiquette advice about retirement

Pillars of Etiquette

Six Pillars of a Healthy Society – Finding Etiquette and Civility

by Jay Remer
International etiquette expert and etiquette coach.

"When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency."
~ Samuel Johnson

Etiquette Pillar 1:  Compassion

This word for me is the most complex key word. Many of us understand and experience compassion, often applying it very successfully to people or situations outside of ourselves. But how often do we have true compassion for ourselves? We set impossibly high standards for ourselves, and when we don't reach them, we beat ourselves up. We need to give ourselves a break every once in a while. We are, after all, human. We all have frailties. We need to accept this and in fact embrace it, for without these inherent flaws, we would not be the unique and amazing individuals that we are.

Etiquette Pillar 2: Humility

Many people bandy around this key word and it often misunderstood. To me, in a nutshell, it boils down to the core principle that there are no 'big shots'. Each one of us is as valuable as any other. No matter what our professional position or achievements, no matter our social station, no matter our wealth or education, we all have value; and on many levels - equal value. Our egos have a skillful way of distorting this. This is not to say that we cannot hold people in high regard or without them our lives would be less fulfilling. But the shoe is often on the other foot, and we too are held in high regard and help to fulfill other's lives more times than we may ever know.

Etiquette Pillar 3: Awareness

This key word brings to mind two familiar phrases. One is 'deer in headlights'. The other is 'smell the roses'. How often are we caught unawares; and how many times do we feel life is rushing by us too quickly to stop and really enjoy what we are doing, and who we are doing it with - even if it is ourselves? Slowing down to allow the blur of life to come into focus actually helps us to achieve more of our goals, whatever they may be.

Etiquette Pillar 4:  Responsibility

There are times when we do not take responsibility for our actions nor are we willing to accept the consequences for those actions. This leads to resistance and manifests in pain, fatigue, and confusion. No matter what our situation may be, we share some responsibility, sometimes a lot, sometimes a little, and discovering that unlocks the mysteries to many of life's quandaries. Of course, there is a flipside to every coin, and this one's is 'mind your own business'. As much as we think we know what's best for others, it's not our responsibility to make their choices for them. Allow people to make the right choice - for themselves.

Etiquette Pillar 5:  Gratitude

Many of us live in a world of entitlement. We take so much for granted - our health, our access to food and shelter, good friends, a comfortable life style, and the list goes on. I wonder what the world would be like if we took some time everyday to be grateful for our many blessings - including life itself.

Etiquette Pillar 6:  Encouragement

As I mentioned at the beginning of this newsletter, encouragement matters. It is like gasoline in your car or food in your belly. It shows us that we are connected to one another and that what we do matters. There is no better way to raise happy children or to maintain a healthy community than by positive reinforcement. This comes in many forms, the spoken word of encouragement being the most powerful.


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