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I learned from my mother what not to do



Joined: 6/30/2011
Posts: 8
Trinity_Daniels
"I did cheat on your father." My mother admitted. I sat staring at her dumbfounded. It was one thing to hear my father tell me that the reason behind their divorce was due to her infidelity, but an entirely different experience to hear it straight from the horse's mouth!
"Why?" It wasn't like my father was some abusive, absentee parent. He was exactly the opposite. Everyday, he woke up and went to work eight hour shifts, even skipping lunch to get off sooner. Then he came home, helped helped me and my two siblings with our homework, dressed us for bed, and often cooked our night time meals. My mother barely lifted a finger to raise us.
"I got married right out of high school," she started. "And your oldest brother came soon after that. I never had time to experience life. Didn't go to college, and I really didn't do a whole lot of dating in high school."
"So, what? Do you resent having us?" The question burned like acid in my throat.
"No! Of course not, I love you guy. But I can't lie, there are days when I wish I had waited to have children."
"You're lying," I accused. "You can hurt me with a lie, but don't comfort me with a lie." She sighed, and looked at me through eyes as old as the earth.
"Yes, I resent having you guys. If you really want to know the truth, I've had abortions before. Some days I just wish I could run away, and never come back." The truth hurt, but I embraced the pain.
"Why did you even have children?" I questioned. "It's obvious that you didn't want us."
"I didn't know anything else," she defended. "You now I grew up in a small town. Getting married to the father of my children was an accomplishment in itself."
"You know, living with you after the divorce was a nightmare. I really hated it, and there were days when I truly hated you. I know you asked my dad for money in exchange for us. You didn't want us. Why not just let us go?"
"Honestly? There is no rational reason for that. I just didn't want your father to have you."
I stared at my mother in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? How could you be so spiteful? My entire personality changed when we moved, I barely spoke to anyone. You should have left us in with him. He took better care of us than you did even though he worked everyday." I got up and walked away.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"What do you care?" I spat. I would never, could never, look at my mother the same way again. One day, I knew I would find the strength to forgive her, but today was not the day.
"Thank-you." I said.
"For what?" She scoffed.
"For teaching me exactly what not to do." I stalked off to my room.
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Comment by chemchick


Joined: 7/12/2011
Posts: 2
Wow, this was such a poignant retelling. Thank you for posting this; you obviously know how to portray biting reality...well, realistically.
Posted: Tuesday, July 12, 2011 1:07:26 AM
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Comment by Trinity_Daniels


Joined: 6/30/2011
Posts: 8
thanks! i really appreciate it :)
Posted: Monday, July 18, 2011 9:06:13 PM
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Comment by Guest


Joined: 10/30/2008
Posts: 2,760
I'm not quite sure how to say this; you made it exrteemly easy for me!
Posted: Saturday, December 31, 2011 9:29:39 AM
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