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"Dark Blue" brought me out of dark times



Joined: 8/30/2012
Posts: 1
technobecian
I will always remember belting out Jack’s Mannequin’s “Dark Blue” on the way home from our cast dinner for James and the Giant Peach.

I guess it’s sort of funny, in a way, that a song with dark in its title helped get me out of such dark times—but it did. Simply put, freshman year was just not a good time for me. No, it wasn’t the stress from changes or the schoolwork or being James Henry Trotter—those come easily enough to me. The song puts it best, really:

Dark blue (dark blue)
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well I’m here with you.
I said the world could be burning (burning) down.


I was feeling so alone, so unsure of where life would take me. Everything I’d known about myself was changing, my self-image was burning down. Most mornings I had trouble waking up. Some mornings I didn’t want to.

But it isn’t a sad song to me at all, really. You see, “Dark Blue” was the first movement of our marching band show that year. I can still remember that exhilarating feeling of my first halftime performance, marching out onto that field, the lights on me, on us, that feeling of unity. Hearing the piano notes opening the song always takes me back to that wonderful moment, and I can’t help but smile.

I suppose that was just before the darkest times. They didn’t really start until winter. After band season.

This flood (this flood) is slowly rising up swallowing the ground
beneath my feet. Tell me how anybody thinks under this condition.


And how are you supposed to think when you’re drowning in your own sorrow?

Ugh. Now looking back and calling it sorrow—yeah, okay, it was bad. But by the end of the year, by that wondrous play, I realized I was freaking out about nothing. Well, I mean, not nothing—I’m still not sure what’s gonna happen in my life, and I haven’t resolved every problem I had. But, you know, I guess I just learned that I’m going to figure that out in time.

There was nothing we could do.
It was dark blue.


Those dark times don’t matter that much anymore. They don’t define me. And they certainly didn’t define me as that song came on the car’s radio, as I smiled through the stage makeup I hadn’t yet washed off, as I looked out at the amber streetlights and the darkness, wishing that night could last forever…

Slow down… This night’s a perfect shade of
dark blue (dark blue).
Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well I’m here with you.
I said the world could be burning
now there’s nothing but dark blue.

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