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My Song: "Here for You" Showed Me That I Would Get Better



Joined: 2/21/2012
Posts: 44
MikkiB326
In a generation where bodies are moldable, faces are manipulative, and "perfect" can be made with only the click of a computer mouse, there's no question why I had problems. My eighth grade year was seemingly perfect; it almost should have been: I was the top student of my grade, captain of the cheerleading squad, had a lot of friends, and had recently been asked out by the guy I had liked for almost a year. Yet, smiles give you a lot of room to hide behind.

I covered up a lot of emotions with a happy face and an ocean of white lies. In reality, though, I would go home and cry. I'd spend all day starving. The harsh reality of a year and a half of my life is this: I was becoming anorexic. Of course, when you have a psychological disorder, you don't believe it at first. You also don't tell anybody.

The part that upset me was that nobody noticed. My family didn't bother to make me eat a lot. My friends didn't question me when my clothes looked loose. People wanted to play along with the generic, positive energy I was letting out.

While the feeling of imperfection was eating me up inside, I continued to not eat. Slowly, my boyfriend and best friend caught on to what was happening to me; I was forced to admit it to them, if they promised not to reveal my secret to anybody.

Of course, I cried. They gave me hugs. But, the best memory from the worst time of my life was just a simple song.

The day after I had told my boyfriend, James, he came over to my house. We sat in my television room alone, and he held me while I cried. James pulled out his iPod, put one ear bud in his ear, the other in mine, and turned a song on.

You have to understand that I listen to mainstream pop songs, while James listens to everything but that. I didn't recognize the song or Ozzy Osbourne's voice when he started singing, but I now know it by heart.

"Don't wanna know just what tomorrow may bring because today has just begun; no matter whatever else I've done, I'm here for you." The words in the song "Here for You" were a promise to me. They made me realize that I had people around me that loved and cared for me. Sometimes, the future is a scary thing, but I knew, in that moment, that I was going to get better. And I knew that James would be there every step of the way.

Here I am today; still with James, fully recovered, finally accepting that imperfection is beautiful, and listening to "Here for You", the song that gave me hope, as I write this.

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