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Two Voices, One Person



Joined: 10/8/2010
Posts: 26
mynameisASHley
I. My Voice

The pain and sadness has taken over me.
I am no longer here, just a figment of your imagination.
You’ve taken my pride
my dignity
my life.
You used me – How could you?
You’ve left me beaten.

No longer a yellow ball of light,
the black mass that has become me
is my only friend.
I don’t like who I am
who I’ve been
who I’m becoming.

The black hole is gripping me tighter,
tighter.
Pulling me further,
further to the abyss of no where.
Once the leader, I am now stuck in the shadows.
They’ve become my Home.
My Prison.
My Escape.
Although they are dark and cold
I feel safe and comfortable.
I need to find release but what help is it when
you’ve turned on me
and left me alone?
I need out,
somewhere to go. I deserve this.

Everyday is a struggle.
Wake up and fake a smile.
I see you everywhere;
When I close my eyes to a disturbing rest,
When I wake to another day ready to beat me down.
You’ve become my shackles
locking me here
never letting go.

I am surrounded by people,
Yet I feel so alone.
One might lend a helping hand
But instead I quiver in fright.

That fake smile becomes
A fake smile becomes
A fake person becomes
A fake me.


II. The Voices in my Head

We’re eating at her now;
She’s taking on her worse fears
becoming them.
She walks behind us,
now a follower, no longer a leader

That’s what she deserves.

As we push her further
Further away
She becomes distant from Reality
Society
Humanity.
She wanders alone in groups of people,
No one able to see her
And we’re the ones who’ve done it.

That’s what she deserves.

“Chase her. Beat her. Make her leave!”
We scream at her day in and out
like a swing on a little kid playground.

Slowly, but growing to a faster pace, then slowing again
like creeping up a long, steep hill on a roller coaster
ready to zoom face first down to the ground;
“Zee’s” persona changes back to who she doesn’t want to be.

Herself.
Ashley.

She stopped laughing, so we laugh at her.
She stopped smiling, so we smirk at her.
She stopped hugging, so I hold onto her.

She stopped moving.

I’ve done my job.

That’s what she deserves.
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