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Trust and Safety: What You Need to Survive

Joined: 9/26/2011
Posts: 2
Trust and safety, such meaningful words, they’re hard to earn and hard to obtain. To me these words are the most important words and feelings to have in life and the world. If you don’t have trust and safety you can not survive. Any relationship, whether it’s with a person or place, has to have these traits. Your own home is the one place that absolutely has to have them. No excuses. If someone asked me if I trusted my mom, and trusted her to keep me safe, my answer would be no. To me I think that it’s horrible to say but it’s true.

I grew up living with my mom at my grandparents after my parents got a divorce. My mom was always promising me everything was going to be okay and to not to agonize about anything, but how could I not? I was the naïve little girl who always thought and hoped my parents would get back together and everything really was going to be alright. However, I was in for a rude awakening when my dad told me and my brother about his new girlfriend. My mom had promised me everything was going to go back to the way it was. She blatantly lied to my face. I felt so horrible knowing I wasn’t going to be able to see my dad everyday when I got up in the morning or get a good-night hug and kiss every night like normal. My world was literally turned upside down. After awhile I sort of got over the fact that they were divorced. My mom worked and tried to get us by. She promised a lot, but those promises were never carried out. Throughout the years my mother had lost a lot of the trust I had in her.

Another reason I wouldn’t trust my mom to keep me safe is because she doesn’t “keep” an eye on me. She doesn’t check my text messages, what I receive or send. She doesn’t monitor my internet usage, to see if I’m being cyber bullied. Which I have before and she didn’t do much other than tell me to delete who was bullying me from my profile and other things. But I wouldn’t trust her to keep me safe out in public either. When I was little, like around 2 years old, I was found wondering a busy street, by myself, and she was at home on her computer when she was supposed to be taking care of me. Still today she is normally found sitting at her computer doing various things instead of taking care of me like she should be.

I feel like I have been deprived of having trust and safety in my home and I honestly hope that others don’t have to go through some of the things that I have. It just really sucks not being able to feel protected by your parents.
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