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Trust and Safety: 19 minutes

Joined: 10/5/2011
Posts: 14
As a 13year old, in a school full of diverse children, many of which are subjected to bullying, what makes me feel insecure is not being the one bullied someday, but the fact that the ones who are bullied may seek revenge someday by school terrorism, school shooting. And whose fault would it be? Who would be the victim? The bullies who may be shot, the wounded ones who watched students get bullied or the child who just couldn't be an outcast his whole life and had to break lose. Underneath an incident of school shooting a no. of moral issues are uncovered. The idea of identity, peer pressure, popularity, gun control, betrayal, deception and communication barriers between adults and adolescents are only a few of them.
Unfortunately, the truth is that such thoughts have hijacked my dreams and gradually transformed them into nightmares. After days void of sleep, I just couldn't keep my fears and insecurities bound within myself and started by the simplest method- sharing. I thought of imaginary, tragic incidents taking place, and have expressed the same in the form of a poem giving the side of the story we often ignore to listen to. The guilty's side who was actually a victim his whole life.

19 Minutes

I woke up with a mission
I knew what I had to do
I had all the preparation
As I knew revenge was due

Loaded with guns, a backpack
Shouldered its weight upon me
Motive and reason, I didn’t lack
The psychological burden, I had to free

16 years of being tormented
Bashed, flagged, ridiculed and bullied
All these years I just resented
But now for the weak I had to do a deed

All my life, being an outcast
With teenage years causing a bigger rift
My actions were to leave them aghast
Those who left me miffed

As I reached the school corridor
And the series of shooting, I did start
I fired bullets with hatred to the core
And watched lives fall apart

19 minutes is what it took me
To bring the world to a screeching halt
Killing 10 and wounding 3
To start with, it was their fault

At the end of my massacre
I faltered and then sat still
Police sirens echoing in the air
With panic the school did fill

Now as an 18 year old
I sit in a dark jail
My feet feel cold
But my mission didn’t fail

If I look behind
I take pride in what I did
Only if they had been kind
I wouldn’t need to get rid

Being bound in jail I do not dote
And with hopeless pain I lie
As I stuff a sock down my throat
It’s time for me to say goodbye

Hopefully someday, you too would feel
How my days were hell
This was the only way to deal
Unless I kept hiding in my shell

There are many others like me
Who face these jocks’ terror too
I carry major hopes, someday
They would stop a few
And now to the world I bid adieu.

P.s. - I was so tormented that I practically checked the time that it would take to run across the school's corridor and shoot people at the same time. The time came out to be 19 minutes and I got the title for my poem.

At last I would wish to raise a plea to the world's teens-
Don't destroy other's lives by bullying
For someday they might want to destroy yours

Safely yours
Oorvi Mehta
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