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I Learned From My Mother: To Believe

Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 84
Felicia Czochanski
Metuchen, New Jersey

I guess I’ve been stubborn. More like a know-it-all, although it was completely illogical this entire time. How could she have recounted everything from her life in the short time I’ve had mine? But she kept this from me. One extremely important aspect which makes me wonder the reason why.

The other day we were driving together in the car and I decided to ask her the question. Apparently, it was supposed to be one that’s hard to answer; something that you’re supposed to think about for a while before responding to. But the moment it reached her ears, her face changed. I thought I knew my mom inside and out. We talk about anything and everything and I thought that we had covered basically every topic. But the way she squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips told me that this was not in the least bit true.

As the trees on the side of the road kept moving she sat there with her mouth closed, cheeks puffing out just a bit. It was as if the answer was hopping around inside of her mouth the instant it came to mind, but she just wasn’t ready to let me hear it. I prodded her for it. I teased her about how she was being forgetful and even told her that she was blushing. To that she responded, “No.” and her face became serious before she nervously began to speak.

The one thing that my mother never told me about herself was probably the most important thing she could have kept from me. She wanted to be a writer, and she still does.

Even thinking about it now so many questions come to mind that I’m overwhelmed and my eyes become subtly wet. Am I sympathetic that it never happened for her? Or irrationally selfish that I’ve been working on a novel myself? But I know why.

We went on our first college visit together earlier this year. When we got to the part of the tour which was the ‘major fair’ she told me to visit all of the booths that looked even remotely interesting, not to go straight to the English Department. When we did reach that booth though, my mother began to ask a million questions; some about the program and others about the types of jobs available. It was obvious that she wasn’t sure if it was rational to depend on writing for a living, but was still interested in the major. And I agree. Every case is different. But not once has she ever told me to give up my dream and focus on something else.

I think the tears in my eyes are of gratitude, because I know that my mother believes in me unconditionally. And that kind of support is unfortunately rare. I am still full of surprise but glad that I asked her. Now I have been given the opportune gift to encourage her to write, as she does to me.
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Comment by michness

Joined: 1/25/2011
Posts: 210
I go to York College of PA, where they have a wonderful and challenging Professional Writing program. My parents often groan when they remember my major, but honestly, I am pretty confident that I will receive a job. I couldn't ask for a better writing program--the major is really broad too, so you could do anything with it!
Posted: Saturday, July 2, 2011 5:42:59 PM
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Comment by ciaobella14

Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 84
I know a lot of people who are really into art and writing and such, and their parents discourage them from following their passion. I don't feel this is right, that the parents force their children into Pre-Med, something they may not be interested in, instead of allowing them to do what they love; no matter the salary. I totally agree with you!!! I think majoring in writing could open up a lot of opportunities that you wouldn't be exposed to otherwise :)
Posted: Friday, July 8, 2011 2:03:22 PM
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Comment by ireylcadence

Joined: 4/6/2010
Posts: 12
My dad had wanted to go into Chemistry or Physics, but unfortunately, money and time-constraints made that impossible.

For me, I'm one of those people who sway towards the social sciences, but of course, my parents are trying to talk me out of it. And the thing is, I know that they're trying to do what's best for me.

I think it's just a problem of today's society in general--that we undervalue the talents of the "right-brained" as opposed to the "left-brained".

Awesome post. :)
Posted: Friday, July 8, 2011 10:46:12 PM
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Comment by ciaobella14

Joined: 6/28/2010
Posts: 84
Thanks! :)

And I completely agree with you. Society is definitely biased towards those who are "left-brained" although the intelligence and talents found on both sides are equally important. Until people begin to understand this generations to come will have to undergo the same bias as us.
Posted: Sunday, July 24, 2011 2:51:28 AM
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