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I Learned From My Mother the Art of Loving

Joined: 6/12/2011
Posts: 1
I learned from my mother the art of loving.

When I was five, my mother was happiness in itself - she was my joy, my laughter, my sunshine in every sense. When I was ten, my mother was something to be feared : the taller-than-average, strict mother who denied my play dates because I had piano lessons and vocabulary to learn. Now, at sixteen, my mother is something to be hated on something beyond a mere unreasonable adolescent level.

My dislike for my mother does not stem from insane bouts of ‘emoism’ as a rapidly growing sixteen year old, nor her rules of when I can do what I can. No, my dislike stemmed from her expectations of what kind of a person I should be.

I’m supposed to be a perfect, violin virtuoso, straight-A, honor student.

What I am is an average, okay-at-violin, mostly-straight-A’s, honor student. That’s one to cross off on your checklist, mother!

She seems to want me to be the perfect combination of her favorite traits from all of her friends’ children, and everyday, her mental checklist of who I should be grows longer and longer. I’m still struggling to wake up in time for classes at seven and not forgetting my homework I stayed up late doing at home. I can see the disappointment in her eyes when my grade is below an A on that chemistry test, when I don’t play that particular piece as perfectly as she wishes. While there are students at my school with straight D’s and high off of drugs, my mother sits at home, disappointed that I bring home two B’s. It’s moments like those that make me want to jump out my window, literally.

So it surprised me that my perfect mother had dropped out of college when she married my father and had me. She hadn’t just dropped out of some random school, but NYU, where she’d been a brilliant, popular, fresh 21 year old.

I learned that my mother had expectations of me, for me. She hates that she dropped out of college, but she never regretted it - because dropping out of college gave her me. Me, the daughter she works hard to perfect, so that I can have a better life than she did. I realize now that perhaps her disapproving glance at the B on my report card was not one of disappointment, but one of worry - what if I had a life like hers?

I realize the thing that many children do, only too late, when they too have children. I realized my mother loves me in every possible way, in the way that is hardest to see, in the way that is the least obvious. My mother loves me as any mother could possibly love her child.

I learned from my mother the art of loving in the purest way possible.
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Comment by mcoly618

Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 472
Hi, I'm the PR Coordinator for Stage of Life. I'm leaving you this comment to let you know that your essay for our Teens and Parents writing contest was one of the finalists. Congratulations!

Here's the link to the contest summary page. We'll be formally announcing the winner soon.

Feel free to share this news with your friends and family. To be named an essay finalists in our national writing competition is a big deal. Our previous winners have been talked about on and other media outlets.

Congrats again. We look forward to seeing more of your essays/writing on Thanks for helping us in our mission of creating the world's largest pool of cross-generational stories.
Posted: Wednesday, July 13, 2011 4:26:17 PM
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