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I Overcame Fear



Joined: 5/30/2011
Posts: 4
Chelarose
I entered junior year of high school with no friends.

That may seem as an overstatement. I had friends, but only the kind you talk to in class or say hi to in the hallway. It was disheartening; I’ve looked forward to my junior year of high school since the second week of freshman year. They seemed to have the most fun. Yet I dreaded my first day.

The reason I entered my junior year alone is pretty simple. I had been best friends with a girl for about four years, but it had been a really destructive friendship. She made horrible choices, and I followed her despite my better judgment. There had always been other people to befriend, but she drove them away.

I let myself slip through the cracks. There were times I’d cry over what she said or did to me but through it all I felt like I was lucky to have her as a friend because if not, I’d have no one. Finally, all the abuse became too much and one day she said something to me and I exploded. I started screaming and cursing at her almost hysterically. Usually after a fight you have that feeling that eventually you’ll be friends with them again. Instead I felt a sense of finality.

After that I was able to realize that everything she had done to me was wrong. I realized that I was ashamed of my memories. Most importantly, I realized that I truly hated who I had become. Because the person I had been in the December of 2009 was not me.

Then last July, I hooked up with a guy that was practically a stranger. We only made out, but still, it meant something to me. He hasn’t talked to me since. If that had happened now, I’d be alright. Instead it had happened while I was trying to find who I really was. He just reinforced the thought that there was something wrong with me.

I had to overcome that fear. The fear that there was something wrong with me. The fear that no one really cared about me and that no one ever would.

Determination. That’s what I needed to overcome that fear. Although this is making me seem like an insecure person, I’m not. I’ve always believed in myself and despite my fear I was determined to find friends that brought out the best in me. So I started over. I started talking to people. I started signing up for a lot of after-school things to keep myself busy. Eventually, I started to find myself.

When I found the real me, I realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. And suddenly, I opened up and let myself be me not caring, even for a second, if other people liked that person. As it turns out, they do.

That’s when the fear passed; there’s nothing wrong with me and the people I care about know that.
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Comment by mcoly618


Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 472
Hi, I'm the PR Coordinator for Stage of Life. I'm leaving you this comment to let you know that your essay for our Teens and Overcoming Challenges writing contest was one of the finalists. Congratulations!

Here's the link to the contest summary page. We'll be formally announcing the winner soon.
http://www.stageoflife.com/Teen_Challenges.aspx

Feel free to share this news with your friends and family. To be named an essay finalists in our national writing competition is a big deal. Our previous winners have been talked about on TIME.com and other media outlets.

Congrats again. We look forward to seeing more of your essays/writing on StageofLife.com. Thanks for helping us in our mission of creating the world's largest pool of cross-generational stories.
Posted: Monday, June 6, 2011 6:51:00 PM
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