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I overcame...? Obsession? Or indecision?

Joined: 1/11/2011
Posts: 22
About 24 hours ago, I logged onto stage of life for the first time in… oh… at least a month. Ever since then, I’ve been thinking about this question- what have I overcome? In doing this I began to wonder… have I really accomplished anything yet this year? What challenge have I overcome? HOW HAVE I GROWN? I haven’t gone through any big changes this school year. I haven’t really taken any huge leaps. But I suppose I have done a lot of little things… and little things can add up. I am in the midst of overcoming a lot of things right now. I don’t think there is anything huge I’ve overcome, I realized, but there are a lot of things I’m overcoming.
One of the biggest things is my OCD. I am an obsessive person. A worrier. I spend more time in my mind then in the real world, or at least it seems that way a lot of the time. I waste a lot of time stressing out over stupid things, like whether or not my shoelace is tied the right way. Everyday, though, I learn more and more ways to fight my mental war. Finally finding a therapist that gets me definitely helps. I’ve been through about 4, and at least that many medications. Until recently, I always thought it was my fault my obsessions were not being helped by any of this… but now I know otherwise. I’ve overcome my fear of saying the wrong thing in therapy quite well, and now that is helping me to come closer and closer to showing my OCD whose boss.
Another thing I have overcome is my indecision. My boyfriend would disagree because, well… I’m not so good at picking out movies or ice cream flavors. But as far as big decisions go, like, say, what I want to do with my LIFE, I’m getting there. Ever since I was a kid, people have been asking me what I want to be when I grow up and I’ve always answered that I’m not sure. I’ve been looking into my options a lot though and really trying to decipher myself. Who am I… inside? I’m starting to figure that out. I’m looking into colleges, too I’m involved in about 100 extracurricular activities and I’m a straight A student, so I know my future is bright. I’ve always known that, but bright futures are the most blinding. Still, I’ve overcome my fear of the real world and am on my way to making my biggest choices yet.
My only goal in life is to be happy, and to do that I know I’ll have plenty to overcome in the future. This year has only brought me minute challenges, but I know I won’t always have it easy. I don’t want an easy life anyway; I want to overcome.
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Comment by Yggdrasil

Joined: 3/8/2011
Posts: 4
I can relate to your uncertainty about overcoming things in high school. All the problems that people said they had or have in high school didn't seem to ever really exist for me. Well, either that or I'm just dense to notice.
I like that you mentioned growing into a better person. People might not exactly change, but they do at least grow into who they want to become.
Sweet essay! :)
Posted: Friday, May 27, 2011 10:11:24 PM
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