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I overcame myself



Joined: 5/25/2011
Posts: 1
cocothndr94
This year was, in laymen’s terms a hassle. Not in the means of school work, or human resources, but in the having to deal with myself. Constantly, throughout the year I beat myself into a bloody mass of emotional turmoil, leaving only a responsive husk of a being. I often hear a little voice in my head telling me I am not enough or that wasn’t a smart move. This is not my conscience, my conscience often plays part in other activities that I find myself torn in completing, no this is another voice an anti-me voice that clouds my head with streams of failure and the inability to finish anything. But, I would soon defeat it.
It all happened when we were enlightened to the fact that our junior speech was speedily coming up. The little voice inside of my head laughed saying “You’ll fail this one.” I didn’t know what to do, I was starting to shut down and lose confidence in myself. As we began to pick the dates of our speech, a thought ran through my mind, why not just go first and get the whole blasted thing over with. Taking this thought for a wild ride I signed up to go on the first day, which was only a week away. The voice laughed, mocking my zeal. Almost instantaneously after that I had but four days left until my speech. I had just begun and had no idea where I would go with my speech.
The days but, danced by as the ideas failed to trickle into written words for me to rehearse. The voice returned laughing at my inability to think, beating down my self-confidence. I had barely any steam left in me when it struck. The epiphany of a lifetime, the words came galloping into my head like Odin’s great steed Sleipnir, bounding onto paper with its eight mighty legs. The voice was still there however laughing happily at my new found inspiration, “You may have something to write about, but will you be able to say it in front of the class?” He was right, but that did not hinder my writing, I would prove him wrong, I would conquer the speech.
The day had finally arrived and it was but moments away from my turn to speak. The voice returned for a final time, as I stood to speak. “Are you ready to fail?” but I had-had enough, and with a swift thought I replied “Just because you think something doesn’t mean that it is right.” With those words I began to speak. The words flowing from my mouth as, if I were the great Homer telling one of his epics. Once I finished, and class had ended, I asked my teacher how I had done… an A, YES, I won I proved him wrong and conquered my own doubt. The voice has yet to return to challenge the new much more self-confident me. Therefore this is how I overcame myself.
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