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I Overcame the Faith I Lost in Myself

Joined: 5/21/2011
Posts: 1
I overcame the faith I lost in myself. For a time during the school year, both my slipping grades, and friends who were less than supportive brought me to a place where I thought I would never return from. I began to dream of a life far different from the one I had originally imagined. One where I was not working in International Business, at a sparkling high rise building in one of my favorite cities, Frankfurt, Germany, but rather as a waitress in a small town in the middle of Nowhere, USA. My grades slowly began to slip down that slippery slope to failure, and although they didn’t go far from perfection, it was something that I could not bear. I understood everything that was going on in my classes, but the joy in learning something new dissolved, as I began to think that I failed in everything. Friends were far from helpful. In a competitive student body, the bragging, and incessant desire to be the best began to chip away at my initial belief that I was a smart child, one that would go far in life. A close friend of mine began to say she was the smartest person in the school, better than all the others, even the ones who got a 2400 on the SAT, and taking more AP's than she and I combined. This, naturally, made me feel like a star. It was as if I didn’t understand anything anymore, as a sense of despair enveloped my entire academic life. Though, then I stopped. I simply stopped, and began to look at my achievements, and accomplishments. I looked back again at my strengths, hidden in the depths of my mind, all stuffed in a rickety wooden box, age-old cobwebs covering such things as writing, reading, and language. I pulled out my old friends, and put them on a golden scale, already laden with the new demons that had found their way into my daily thoughts. The good, as in every picture-perfect novel, outweighed the bad, and I realized that the demons, the ones that gave me a daily dose of failure, needed to be banned from all corners of my mind. I must say, it was not bittersweet to let go of everything that brought me down, the degrading thoughts, the pressuring desire from friends who had to be the best, at any expense. It's cathartic to sit down once in a while, and look deeply at the strengths you carry with you. The demons are passing, but what you do well, what you receive the most pleasure from, will stay with you. Sometimes, you just need to remember what they are.
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