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I overcame my fear of self image



Joined: 5/12/2011
Posts: 1
1829527
As a young teenager entering another year of high school, my physical look affected me everywhere I go. The pimples that erupt across my face similar to a volcanic war zone, bother me every time I looked at myself in the mirror. The mirror of death I called it, would dissuade me from the truth within me. A familiar feeling overcoming my emotions as I run into my room. This feeling of hatred rushed into my heart and my soul. Not because of a misunderstanding with my hormones. But rather for failing to see the true me.
A true youth ready to rebel against the wrongs of the world. A true Hip-Hop fan ready to defend my top ten rappers of all time. A true man with a lonely soul, ready to walk away from life itself. Yet days go by where my life seems out of balance, life seems to be dark and in contrast never ending. But I pushed through against the criticism, the hatred and the judgment. How could high school students be so mean? My only solution is to hide under new clothes, new hats, and a new me. Yet my soul screams for someone to understand and comply with this low self esteem. No one can truly see the true thoughts and feelings that I contain inside a bottle. Built slowly by my hatred against the world itself, piece by piece.
This sophisticated society builds me as the way it sees me fit, by magazines and television shows. Instead of goodness that heavily influenced my life. Society forces me to see only its perspective, rather than my own. My true personality, which can only be seen pass the materialistic society forces me to believe. If only one person asks me truly who I am or where I am from. But nobody bothers with such ludicrous questions. Rather people ask where did I get my shoes or how much was it? I struggled between the true morals that I was raised in and the ethics of society. So I asked myself which sphere do I belong? A sphere to be true to myself or a self centered individual. But I learned that the best type of trait is not focused upon the first reflection of self image but a deeper more greater image.
But this second one where all my defense and fears slowly drop from my acne face, and a clear sense feeling. This true personality where I can dress into a turtleneck and not care. To wear a sweater outside with mismatched colors pants if I wanted. I have learned to walk pass the image of a "cool kid" but rather a true individual representing every teenager true to their heart. Most importantly, to become and knit me the way I see fit. Where my view as an individual is more important than any culture or clothes.
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