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Marriage: Maybe Arranged is Better

Joined: 3/3/2011
Posts: 2
My great grandmother was married at the age of eight. She is still alive today and remembers her wedding vividly. Her mother had to force her to attend her own wedding, and while she was there, her attention was focused on a small spinning wooden top almost the entire time. She calls herself “extremely lucky” because her parents were looking out for her and made sure her husband was a good man that would help support her as well as keep her happy and provide interesting conversation. She did not have to assess these qualities on her own and she most certainly did not have to learn about love the hard way. While reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel Chronicle of a Death Foretold, I came across the sentence “Love can be learned too,” which described the situation of my great grandmother perfectly.
With the number of arranged marriages decreasing and the divorce rate increasing, I find myself questioning whether there is a link between the two. I have grown up in a culture where arranged marriage is accepted and supported. It has always made sense to me because adults definitely know what is best. The institution of marriage exists to ensure that nobody is alone. Parents find matches for their children early because they love their children and always want them to be happy. For this reason, parents try to find the best possible matches for their children. Of course, when the young couple gets married they are not necessarily in love in the traditional sense of the phrase. They enter the relationship somewhat nervously but they both know they do not have to worry because their spouse was selected for them by their parents, who only want the best. For this reason the marriage is able to flourish. The entire marriage is based on trust in the individual’s parents’ ability to find the perfect match for their child. Soon, the couple begins to fall in love and cannot imagine life separated. Rather than hot soup that is thrown into bowls and left to cool, the couple’s love is a pot of soup carefully prepared and left simmering on the stove, developing slowly over time as all the flavors cook together.
Seeing my happy great grandparents, grandparents, and parents, who have all had arranged marriages makes me want the same fate for myself. When I express this desire to my friends, they merely scoff and shake their heads saying, “You’ll fall in love one day.” I smile because they have misunderstood both me and the entire concept of arranged marriage completely. I know that I will fall in love. I also know that I will remain in love for a long amount of time because of the careful choice of my parents.
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Comment by ByOurLove

Joined: 10/12/2010
Posts: 11
I don't think I ever would have thought about marriage in this sense. It certainly is not what I envision in my future, but I think that you will not have any problem finding happiness and love in your future marriage. Best of wishes!
Posted: Thursday, March 3, 2011 9:21:06 PM
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