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The Secret to Happiness: Let Go of Your Bitterness

Joined: 10/9/2013
Posts: 1
What is the solution to happiness? For me, it’s letting go of my bitterness and hatred. Once I let go of my bitterness and am able to forgive what made me angry in the first place, I know that I am truly happy. There is a moment of peace where you realize, So this is what it’s like… and you can rest easy knowing that there’ll be no more bad thoughts or grudges pulling you everywhere.
This entire year of high school, my sophomore year, I have felt the full force of rejection. Walking into this year, I had one goal in mind: to make upperclassman friends and maybe even get a boyfriend. As someone with anxiety problems, making friends is a huge deal and making friends does not come naturally. Well, as the year progressed, I began losing hope more and more. It was becoming clear to me that the people who I wanted to be friends with did not feel the same way about me, but I still pressed on with my optimism. I did not want to let go of my friend goals even though it is painfully obvious that they’d rather have me die. See, whenever I try to talk to them, they give me weird stares as if to say, Please get away from me. And then other times, they just totally ignore me and never even attempt to include me.Just this year I have gained more haters than I can imagine, but for what reason? Any possible reason anybody has for hating me is immediately ruled out by the fact that their friends have the exact same traits. I know this because I’ve lain countless nights awake, crying my eyes out, trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I know it’s me. It’s not because I’m young. I see them making friends with the meanest and/or least exciting people in my grade rather than me who’s very flamboyant and passionate.
Then one night about a month ago, I was having a really bad day dealing with this rejection. I was crying, praying, writing furiously about my anger and sadness. In the midst of my praying to God, the answer came to me, making me momentarily stop crying: I had to let go of my bitterness. Only then would I be able to become the woman that I wanted to be--that God wants me to be. And that night, I let go of my bitterness. I forgave those people for treating me this way, and it felt wonderful. I felt more confident, and I loved myself more. Of course, the bitterness has been coming back full force every so often, but all I can remember is what I felt that night when I let go of it all: happiness. Freedom, peace, and happiness. That’s why I think that letting go of your hatred and bitterness is the key to happiness.
Is it hard?
Is it worth it?
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