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Marriage: My Rules

Joined: 2/3/2011
Posts: 2
If I were ever to get married I have some rules that I must follow. As the child of a divorce I may seem cynical at times but that’s just the scar left behind from a bad marriage. I want to fall in love and live a fairytale life as much as the next girl (sometimes even more so) but I think before I act. And if someday I meet the guy of my dreams I need to have a serious discussion with myself about who this guy truly is and if I would want to spend my life with him. So here come the rules.

Is this guy up to my standards? I have pretty high standards at that. Explaining all my standards would be a whole new essay, so I wont go into that now. To steal my heart in the first place he must have worked really hard. But is he really the guy that I thought he was? Later on in life would he resort to violence or cheat on me? I need to closely examine this man, ask around a bit and figure out if he is really the guy for me.

So say he passes that test, but could I really stand living with him? Does he have any habits that would drive me insane if I were to live with him? I know they say that if you love a person then you can forgive their faults, but often the little annoyances are the ones that tear marriages apart.

Now I need to examine myself. Do I have any commitment issues with this man? Do I still need to date around and get some more experience? Often the other person isn’t the problem, you are often your own problem. People have issues that they don’t even know about and then they go off and get married and find out they weren’t really ready to be married in the first place. People can often be blinded by love. They get caught up in the romance of it all and make rash decisions.

If all these tests are passed I will get married. My reason for all these rules starts out in my childhood when in 6th grade my parents got divorced. It was a messy affair. My parents tried to hide it from me, but yelling in the middle of the night is something that you can’t hide. Soon after the divorce my dad got remarried. This was all very traumatic to an impressionable pre-teen. The only example of a healthy and loving marriage I have is of my grandparents. They love and respect each other and I hope someday I can be in a relationship like that. That is why before I get married I will test my future husband, and myself, because I want a relationship that doesn’t end in divorce. So my rules may seem silly to you, but to me they make perfect sense.
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Comment by sullysolipsism

Joined: 11/3/2010
Posts: 206
Hey, girl, you're doing better than me! I refuse to get married. Hope you find the man of your dreams!
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 2:45:14 AM
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Comment by Rooney J

Joined: 2/3/2011
Posts: 2
I am still in excitement because I just found this place to communicate with people from all over the world. Oh, I am from China. Haha.
After reading your words, I want to express my sorrow first. It's not good to be a victim of divorce.
Yet I want to say, don't make yourself under much pressure.
You know, to be responsible to your marriage is a right choice, but don't be so hard on yourself and your future husband. One cannot get all he wants, and also, no one is really perfect. Love his excellence while tolerating his shortcomings.
At last, good wishes to you. Hope you find your true love of your dreams.
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 11:09:06 AM
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Comment by sullysolipsism

Joined: 11/3/2010
Posts: 206
@Rooney J: Wow! You're from China?! How did your English get so good?
Posted: Thursday, February 3, 2011 10:03:05 PM
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Comment by ReadingKT

Joined: 2/3/2011
Posts: 2
Thanks for the advice :) that's really cool! Your from china!
Posted: Saturday, February 5, 2011 5:44:01 AM
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Comment by kinzie52

Joined: 1/8/2011
Posts: 45
duuuuuude great essayy!!!!
Posted: Thursday, March 17, 2011 4:41:31 AM
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Comment by ogeewiz

Joined: 2/25/2009
Posts: 43
It sounds like you've done some great thinking about what you need to be happy, and I'd encourage you to continue that. Marriage is give and take, but it's equally important to give to and take for ourselves. If you learn to trust yourself, you'll know what's right for you, and you'll know if you're not getting what you need. If you're willing to get help when you need it, and stay true to yourself, you'll be doing what you can to contribute to a successful marriage. I believe that increases your chances of having the marriage you want.
Posted: Friday, March 18, 2011 4:57:33 AM
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Comment by bugcandy

Joined: 11/5/2008
Posts: 286
I'm the CEO for

We wanted to let you know that out of scores of contest submissions, your essay for our February writing contest was one of the finalists. Congratulations! Megan, our PR Coordinator, will be in touch with you (if she hasn't already) via email.

FYI - we'll be announcing the winner later today or tomorrow.

I personally look forward to seeing more of your essays/writing on

Thanks for sharing your point of view with us!



P.s. Did you enter the current student writing contest?
Posted: Thursday, March 24, 2011 4:23:04 PM
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