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BFFs – Best. Friends. Forever.



Joined: 5/13/2015
Posts: 7
liz pearl
Pearls of Wisdom:
BFFs – Best. Friends. Forever.
Liz Pearl © 2015

It’s been decades since the genesis of our friendship. L and N met sometime in elementary school, and I befriended them several years later at summer sleepover camp when we were tweens. Our friendship trio peaked sometime around our memorable Sweet‒16s. It’s true, three is a tricky number for a BFF bond; apparently allegiances switch. How do I know this? I know this because I have three kids very close in age, and over the years I have seen every possible combination of shifting partnerships and exclusions. I remind myself, it’s just a stage, nothing lasts forever, and siblings have shifting loyalties.

Every summer I enjoy a brief retreat up north in the picturesque Laurentians at L’s magnificent country house by the quiet lake, a wonderful opportunity to unwind, catch up and reminisce about the olden days. L and N have remained BFFs through the decades seeing each other often and keeping in touch on a regular basis, like longtime best friends often do. It seems that N and I lost touch, we somehow drifted apart years ago, as often happens with hometown friends (I moved from Montreal to Toronto), and of course, life gets in the way.

Summer retreat 2015 is fast approaching. This year, it will be a trio reunion. In preparation, I do some excavating in my childhood bedroom (my parents still own the home I grew up in and “my room” is a shrine to my youth). Several years ago, my curious teenaged daughter dug up some dusty letters from my teen-days. These sentimental relics of my younger self included sappy love letters and dramatic friendship letters. From the stash, I locate two classic friendship letters handwritten 35 years ago and toss them in my purse.

We arrive at the cottage: embrace, laugh, schmooze, reminisce, eat and drink. We try not to gossip, but it seems old habits die hard. We sit on the dock and enjoy the warm evening breeze, a beautiful pink sky and sip wine. Not Skinnygirl. We remember old secrets, friendship trysts. We try to recall how many times we saw Grease ‒ an ode to our adolescence. Remember, this was long before The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Friends, or The O.C. We chuckle about our prom dates, gutsy adventures, and reminisce some more. Ahh…the good-old days. Wasn’t it just yesterday we were teenagers, carefree and often sunburnt with so much of life ahead of us?

But the years have become decades and we are now older and wiser. There are no guarantees, and life is not always rosy. Collectively we have experienced many joys and our share of heartaches along the way that life inevitably brings: marriage, infertility, childbirth, adoption, miscarriage, stillbirth, learning disabilities, depression, surgeries, and divorce. Let’s not forget ‒ so many wonderful family vacations, fun birthday parties, graduations and joyous holiday celebrations.

Wow time flies. We have survived turning 20, 30, and 40, and most recently 50. Our kids are growing up and with awe we are launching them into the world. We wonder about their futures, our futures.

Late into the night, we’re tucked into a comfy country couch and I pull out the treasured classic letters ‒ SWAK. We laugh until we cry. So much drama. Beyond obnoxious. No spell check. What could we expect? We were three spirited teenaged girls vying for essential BF bonds and swapping crushes. We each have teenaged daughters ‒ so we get it, sort of. OMG! They would holler if they read our 70s letters. LOL.

It’s time to say our good-byes…see you next summer?! We are wise enough to know that we really don’t know what the year ahead will bring; but here’s what we DO know.

1. What we want most, is for our (young adults) kids and our aging parents to be healthy and happy.
2. We want to stay young at heart and enjoy all that life has to offer.
3. We will be here again, next summer, sipping wine and sharing silly stories, like old friends do.
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