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Identity: The Human Turtle



Joined: 10/1/2014
Posts: 1
Jazzerina Ballerina
Who are you? - A question that requires you to know your very identity. I define identity as who someone is, the way one thinks of themself, and the characteristics that define that person. It seems so simple, yet so many people struggle with this question that is so important to know the answer to.
Sadly, I fit in with the general population; I do not have an easy answer to this question. I struggle on a daily basis juggling the two people that I am. One could say I am having an identity crisis. I find that there are aspects of each personality that I deem necessary based on the situation that I am in. And being the indecisive person I am, neither can outweigh the other in my mind forever.
My personality is comparable to the two sides of a coin; although they share the same base, they are completely different. When I am around people I do not know or have just recently met, I am often described as shy. I speak quietly, I am overly nice, and I only make conversation if I am prompted to. I almost portray myself as an introvert. On the other hand, when I am with people I know well, I can be described as almost robust. I crack lots of jokes, I am slightly outspoken, and I’m very lively. I am not afraid to do crazy things because I know the people I am dealing with.
I think this is a direct result of my breakthrough in the summer after 6th grade. Prior to 6th grade, I was very shy. I had friends but not many because I was almost scared to make them. When I entered 6th grade, I stayed true to my old ways. I stayed quiet and focused on schoolwork (I later found out many people thought I was a total nerd because of this). I was fine with this at first, until I looked around. All around me, people were making friends and having the time of their lives. I was honestly jealous.
I yearned for the courage to be like them. So in the summer of 6th grade, I decided to make a change. I decided that I would be more outspoken like I was in the confines of my home, surrounded with the comfort of my family. When I entered 7th grade, I started to make friends because I wasn’t scared to anymore. I was still soft-spoken initially, but I was able to actually talk to people. As I grew more comfortable, I started to act more like the other side of the coin.
I was, and am still, the epitome of a turtle. Side one (in the shell) is the person that I truly am and Side 2 (out of the shell) is the person that I want to be. Deep down I know who I am but I deny it because I find my personality to be less than desirable.
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