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Identity: The truth without Photoshop

Joined: 9/17/2014
Posts: 1
My name is Nsuku and it is a Tsonga name which means gold. I was born January the 4th, 1999 at home.
I would describe Nsuku a young woman who is absolutely simple and definitely passionate about God. I always try my best serve Him and just be obedient to His will. I’m in love with modern poetry, poetry which doesn’t need to be analyzed for example P4CM or ‘local is lekker’ Mak Manaka. A few months ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression, you can be Christian but we all face challenges and we all have those moments when we feel like giving up. I’ve tried to kill myself numerous times and I have a fetish for self-harm (cutting). I believe that I’m a very nice person even though I’m very impatient and I’m quick to anger. Step on my toes, expect a reaction. Truthfully I can be very selfish, this paragraph says it all. Sometimes I think that I need psychological assistance. I enjoy writing,-poems, short stories, essays etc.-I’m very creative, and I enjoy drawing as well as painting.
I technically grew up in what I like to call a terribly dysfunctional family. I shouldn’t be judging but I grew up thinking that families should be certain way, I should know better than to trust movies. I also don’t have the best father in the world although he’s not that typical cliché alcoholic or abusive type of dad.
I’ve learnt a lot from my experiences, firstly I don’t trust men. I always believe that they’re always after something that is probably because I’ve had those almost raped/physically hurt experiences. Why do they have to be so touchy? I’ve learnt that something won’t always go my way, something’s are meant for other people and we can’t always have it. I’ve also learnt that not everyone who smiles at you likes you or wants to be your friend. Certain people will take advantage of you just because you’re too nice, some people just think about themselves only.
Based on my experiences I would say that I’m fierce, my experiences have made me fireproof and a better person. I might not have everything figured out yet and the journey to finding my true identity has been a challenging but I’m closer than I was yesterday or ten years ago.
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