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Identity: I am

Joined: 9/11/2014
Posts: 1
My friends and I started this game where we send a bunch of random numbers to each other and text these numbers just to see their reaction. I don’t know who they are, and they don’t know who I am. Some people say hi, and some people get angry. The point is that these random strangers eventually ask me, “Who are you?” I understand that they want my name. However, all I answer with is, “I don’t know,” because the truth of the matter is I don’t know I am.
My name isn’t who I am. My name does not define me. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, and I don’t what my purpose is. I don’t know what my talents are or why my existence matters. I just don’t know. How is one supposed to find out who they are? How is one supposed to figure out their existence? Everyone keeps telling me, “Be yourself.” How am I supposed to be myself when I don’t know the difference between the facade I put out into the world and truly me? I am a result of a messed up society. Is that me? Now I always say that I hate society, but I do understand I am part of society. I just have a hard time separating me and the way society shaped me. Are we two different ideas or are we one? Am I made up of labels? A nonconformist, pessimistic, realistic, somewhat optimistic, sad, lonely, empathizer who is bad at putting that empathy into action, conformist, oxymoronic, neologistic, Asian female homo sapien? The point is that can you really define a complex human by using these foolish labels? David Foster Wallace said, “What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant.” In other words, words can only do so much. Maybe I never will find out who I am or maybe one day I will understand, but for now, I think I’m just going to sulk in my ignorance.
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