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I am scared of high school.



Joined: 10/16/2013
Posts: 3
ridhima
Time, it just passes us by. It never stops ticking, until and unless, the clock needs a new pair of battery. We all have heard people say, "time heals all wounds and it is the biggest remedy of all." As the clock ticks its way through, the situations change, surroundings change but most of all we as people change. At times we change to a point where we don't recognise ourselves. We tend to become people that we never liked in the first place because at the end of the day we are just a bunch of kids running around the playground desperately trying to fit in. According to me, this desperation is at its peek with the onstruck of puberty specially during the high school years. High school is indeed a scary place, full of fake, pretendious hypocrites. Life's a struggle if you are a mediocre looking fat nerd. The so called 'elites' or 'popular' people continue to poke you and push you to a limit where you lose your cool. Somewhere deep inside our souls, all we want is to feel loved or atleast aknowledged. No one likes to be picked upon, bullied or even called on by names like 'freak' or 'friendless'.As much as we say 'I don't care' or put on a brave face, deep down inside all it makes you want to do is scream out loud and cry yourself to sleep. Some seek music to make it through the day and some just cut themselves to see how much it bleeds and feel the pain which is such a rush. That's when we begin to admire people and hate them them simultaneously. We secretly wish everyday to be just like them and even better. We tend to replicate them, stalk them, observe every little thing about them from the way walk to the way they laugh. We continuously ask ourselves what do they have that we don't and usually the answers push us even more to a state where we stop believing in ourselves. A man once said,'the more things change the more they stay the same.' Well, his theory is not applicable on humans. When we change, we usually become like someone else or become somebody, we are no longer us. We become like someone else. It starts from dieting to enhancing your appearance. From watching how you are behaving to how many people like you. From keeping a watch on the number of like on your facebook profile picture to how many proposals you get. We become so engrossed in becoming better than our 'teen idle' and in that moment what we forget is that indivisuality is the most important trait for a successful life. After all the hardwork and effort to look perfect and act perfect, we have our moment of popularity in which people become your 'friends' not because they want to be or they like you but because it is good for their image or they get amused by you. I was that mediocre fat nerd who suffered each day begging for acceptance.When I had my shot at being in the lime light, I somehow felt lonelier than i was before. Honestly, I felt used. I used to have psychotic breakdowns and my cuts just got deeper and deeper. Lucky for me, I had a best friend to guide me and help me find my path back to sanity. It was a while after I realised that we should be grateful for what we have and not crave for love or acceptance. On our way, we will meet lots of hypocrites and critisizers but we will also meet a few worthy people who will love us and accept us for who we are. A wise man said and I qoute,'In the darkest moments don't let yourself down because the most beautiful pictures are developed in the dark itself.' At the end, all I will say is, high school is a scary place and if you not rich or pretty then it will really be a hardship to suffice. But its just a phase and like always it will just pass us by leaving us with memories to reminise. It will push you to your boundaries but we must try and not let it change us and well, if it gives you immense pain then all you can do is be your true scared unhappy self and wait for it to subside but never subside your own self because you are one of a kind.
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