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I Am Scared of Failure



Joined: 10/10/2013
Posts: 1
xmaddyx562
Some fear gruesome spiders, haunting ghosts, or even a deathly drop from menacing heights. However, in my case, my fear is more mental than physical. Failure, with its daunting hands prey on the successful and strong willed. There is no way to avoid its inevitableness and once you experience it, you develop a new perpective on life.
For as long as I can remember, success and achievement have been, and still are, the two main ideas that were enforced in my life. My father, an important role model that I still admire today, has always been there to motivate me and push me for success. However, it wasn't until he was there at my fall that I realized how mush he believed in me and also how much I never wanted to fail again.
The first time experienced this sense of failure was in the fifth grade. During the preceding years I had always been on top of my game. All A's in each of my subjects, involved in volleyball and basketball, and I was had earned exceptional citizenship grades. Once fifth grade came I felt confident for the new year. During the time a lot of personal issues were rising up and the the ciriculum had been more difficult than what I was used to. However I did not give up, and I kept at it no matter how challenging. Keeping my attitude positive was one of the things my father stressed, because if you are negative, you'll only end up with negative results.
By the time Christmas came along, I noticed my grades were not as high as I wanted them so I talked to my teacher and tried to do all I could to raise my grade. One of my worst subjects was history, I have never and still have not, been so comfortable in history nor have I ever had a big interest in it. We had a huge test when we came back from break so I knew I had to study hard to pass this test, or else I will fail the course. so I study like there was tomorrow. Outlines, notes, and other sources became my new best friend.
Finally the day came, test day. That morning I made sure I was mentally prepared for this exam. Class began and the teacher passed out the test and told us to start. During the test I felt confident, until halfway through my mind went blank. Time was running out and I still had thirty more questions and an essay. It wasn't until there was ten minutes left that I realized my only hope was guess and hope my answers were right. In the end, I regretfully turned in my test. Next day I was called up by the teacher to discuss my test. She told me that out of all my subjects, history was my weak spot, and with the test we took the day before, I didn't pass. I failed, not only that, there was no way to fix it. I felt sick to my stomach. The floor looked as if it were coming at me and I couldn't function correctly. What was worse is that I had to go home at tell my father. The thought made me gag in oure dread. I had failed my father, my teacher, and myself.
That night my father and I went into his office to talk. I confidently had the guts to tell him what happened and that I had an F in history. His reaction at first was surprised and astonished that I had allowed my grade to fall so low. Then, he saw that I knew my mistake and he taught me something I would never forget. He sat me down and said this, "Mija, in life we are given obstacles to overcome, some not so big and some may become the most monumentous event in our life. Whether we overcome or get defeated by the obstacle does not define who were as individuals. What we do in retaliation is what truly speaks for who we are on the inside."
After that day, I realized that failure is just the inevitable part of life we accept and learn from. Yes, proceeding my first major "fail" I did encounter failure, some not so harsh, and some that stopped me dead in my tracks. However, even when my failures get me down, I remember what my father told me, and I gain the power to get up and deal with the worst of them. Failing may be heart-stopping and purely dreadful, but not realizing your mistake and learning from it can create more damage than imagined.
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