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I overcame low self-esteem

Joined: 5/11/2011
Posts: 1
This school year I overcame a low self-esteem. My low self-esteem grew over time. After years and years of kids and television telling me that only light skin was beautiful, it took a toll on me-physically and emotionally. Around the time I was in the eighth grade, I had gotten used to people calling me everything from ugly to crispy. I started to believe it. I began wearing long sleeves and jeans anytime I went out doors, even though it was starting to get hot outside. Heaven forbid I get any darker.
All three of my sisters are light skinned so naturally people began to notice. I am a junior in high school and my older sister is a senior. She is the definition of beautiful: creamy skin, large brown eyes, long hair and a body that makes guys drool. Many people are shocked to learn that I am her younger sister. Standing next to her in the bathroom mirror, I feel like a wooden stick that’s already broken off a tree. Trampled and dirtied. My eyes are smaller than hers, my body is smaller than hers-no guy gives me a second look-everything except my lips that is-which in my opinion are huge. I was convinced that I was a disgusting thing that no one ever wanted to hang around.
I was slowly dwindling in depression. I would randomly lash out at other people. I felt like nobody understood me. Then one day my mother dragged me into the bathroom-literally, she grabbed my arm and yanked me in-
“What is wrong with you?” she asked angrily. I didn’t answer. She turned my body to face the mirror. “You’re not even that dark!” My mother yelled. I looked at my skin, the color lighter than a Hershey kiss but darker than creamed coffee, I started thinking maybe she’s right. I worked on my self-esteem issues and problems that were created by me but started by other people. I started walking with my head held high instead of down. I finally started to believe I was beautiful. Skin color doesn’t make you who you are it’s what is within that really counts.
I’ve always loved to read and when I came across the book, The Skin I’m In, my mouth dropped. Then I cried. I thought, there are other people out there like me? Then I cried some more. Nobody should ever have to go through what I went through my whole life. Everyone is beautiful-not in their own way, they just are. I’m just disappointed in myself that it took me almost seventeen years to finally figure that out.
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