STAGE OF LIFE       Share Your Story       Coupons       Education Resources
Sign Up Now!

My Song: "Can’t You See" by The Marshall Tucker Band, reminds me that marriage is worth the effort



Joined: 2/5/2011
Posts: 50
pammlofton
I met my husband in 1983 when I followed my best friend to the low-country of SC following graduate school. It took only one meeting for me to fall for his good looks and sweet talk. And I never looked back.

We’ve been married for 28 years now and have raised four daughters together. We spent countless hours volunteering, chauffeuring, managing, doctoring, nurturing, encouraging, making priceless memories, laughing until it hurt, praying, creating family traditions--a good deal of which took place outside the home at school, gymnastics, piano lessons, soccer games/practices, cello, band, dance team, competition dance, chorus, softball, rehearsals, performances, and so on.

And we have survived. And that survival can be attributed to love, commitment, laughter, perseverance and music. Yes, music. The husband is quite adept at playing music. Each time I was pregnant, he would sit with the guitar in front of me and play songs for each of the girls. They were born knowing all about rock-n-roll. As they grew, he continued to play and each daughter has her own special song that reminds her of the first song he taught her to play or sing. I, too, have a special song. It’s the one the husband played every single time he was frustrated with me- “Can’t You See?” by the Marshall Tucker Band.

When our daughters were growing up and heard their dad playing that song, they’d ask, “What did Mom do to upset Dad this time?” which would make everyone laugh and magically dispel the current controversy. He rarely plays that song now except for the pure enjoyment of it. After 28 years of marriage, what’s left to argue anyway? But I like when he does play it. The song has served as a constant reminder that life is short and time spent in anger is time wasted. It has reminded me that arguments usually ensue because one person isn’t getting their way. It has reminded us both to understand when to lend a helping hand, or to listen, or to lend a shoulder, or just give a bit of space. It reminds us that there are two people in this relationship, not one. And that we both have feelings, opinions, needs, desires, dreams…

When he plays that song these days, in our empty nest, it reminds us of the days we stopped an argument from getting out of hand because we were responsible for showing our daughters how to have a good relationship. Showing them how to compromise, laugh with and respect one another. And that communication is key. Even through a song.

To this very day when that song plays on the radio or my iPod, it melts my heart. No matter how angry I have gotten with the husband over the last 28 years that song reminds me that anger is counterproductive and that a road paved with patience and tolerance is a much wiser path to follow.
Rate this:
Comment by warren


Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 293
After reading your beautiful story, I had to find the song. Yep, I remember it now. Thank you. Best wishes for at least 28 more years of happiness.
Posted: Friday, August 31, 2012 5:10:58 PM
Rate this:
Comment by pammlofton


Joined: 2/5/2011
Posts: 50
Warren- Thank you for calling my story beautiful! I just heard the song on my iPod a few minutes ago and had to smile all the way through it!
Posted: Friday, August 31, 2012 6:01:36 PM
Rate this:
Comment by NicoleLVMullis


Joined: 5/9/2012
Posts: 34
Momaloft - Isn't it amazing what music can do, especially for a marriage?

Your story reminded me of last New Year's Eve. My family was on the tail end of an international work assignment in Canada. My husband and I were dog-tired, letting our three kids be rowdy until midnight. We watched the ball drop in the States, pecked each other on the lips, sent the kids to bed and started cleaning up the mess. The television was still flickering. Singer Ben Harper came on, preforming his song, Skin Thin. Haunting. Beautiful. It so neatly summed up our homesickness, our struggles, our commitment to each other, everything. Soon, we were no longer cleaning but slow dancing in the glow of the television – a much better welcome to our 16th New Year together.
Posted: Thursday, September 6, 2012 4:35:04 PM
Rate this:
Comment by pammlofton


Joined: 2/5/2011
Posts: 50
I love how a song can do that---take us from the drudgery or routine or anger, etc. and bring us together for some re-energizing! Thanks for sharing that sweet story!
Posted: Thursday, September 6, 2012 5:38:51 PM
Rate this:
Comment by bugcandy


Joined: 11/5/2008
Posts: 286
MomaLoft,

Once again, you're an essay finalist for this story above. :)

Eric
StageofLife.com
Posted: Thursday, September 6, 2012 7:30:31 PM
Rate this:

Parents blog on StageofLife.comAbout Us StageofLife.com is a blogging community for parents.  It allows people who are raising a family to share stories about the adventure of parenthood in an online life journal via their free Stage of Life account.  Read the blogs and stories about raising a family, or check out the writing contest for parents, quotes about parenthood, parenting etiquette, funny videos about kids, discounts for families, and other resources for raising a family on StageofLife.com.  Register to start your free profile, share an essay about your family, and pass along your wisdom to help us change the world, one story at a time.  If you are a college professor, teacher or educator - review our literacy, blogging and writing resources.

Stage of Life Writing Contests

writing contests

Enter National Writing ContestWriting Contests

From 2010 to 2016, StageofLife.com ran a monthly, multi-generational writing contest.  With over 3,000,000 visitors and tens of thousands of participating students, teachers, parents, and bloggers involved over half a decade, StageofLife.com grew into the world's largest multi-generational writing community.

StageofLife.com writing contestsWhere is the Writing Contest Now?  As StageofLife.com grew into a global writing destination, the coordination of managing an international writing contest became too time intensive for the website's owners.  So starting on Sept. 4, 2016, StageofLife.com unfortunately had to end the writing contest portion of its services. 

However, we are now actively looking for new owners of StageofLife.com who may want to carry on the mission of helping to change the world, one story at a time.  If you know someone who may be interested in taking StageofLife.com to the next level, we can share details around the opportunity.  Please send an email to our owners if there's interest to acquire the website.

But in the meantime, there's still plenty to see and do here - just check out the various links and menus on the page.

Past Annual Writing Contest Results:  While the energy and time to carry on the StageofLife.com writing contest has come to a close, you can see summary reports and the winners from the monthly contests on our Writing Contest Winners page.  Tens of thousands of people have submitted essays over the last six years.  Our editorial team has been extremely grateful for all of the wonderful essays shared over the years - words and stories that have helped us change the world, one story at a time.


Sincerely,

--StageofLife.com owners Eric & Rebecca Thiegs and Joe & Lisa Thiegs


Bragging rights, international recognition, and gift card prizes were part of the fun for participants of the free writing contests on StageofLife.com.

Mentions for the Stage of Life teen writing contests, teen trend reports, etiquette Q&A, and teacher resources by...

Our writing contests mentioned by TIME.com
Our Teen Trend Report mentioned by MarketWatch Our etiquette resources mentioned by FOX Business Educator tips mentioned by Mashable

 

Each month over half a decade, Stage of Life hosted and judged writing contests for both students and adults.  We thank the below brands - our educational sponsors - who supplied gift cards as prizes for the winning essays as we helped the change the world through blogging, storytelling, and our literacy-based initiatives...

 Writing contest sponsor  Writing contest sponsor on StageofLife.com  Blogging contest prize sponsor Spa & Wellness gift cards by SpaWeek 


StageofLife.com writing contestsWhat made our writing contests different?

  • Stage of Life writing contests were always free to enter
  • Essays from our blogging and writing contests have been picked up by the media, e.g. TIME.com, and used by teachers as mentor texts across the globe
  • We wanted to hear your personal, authentic thoughts on real world topics each month.  We picked writing prompts for which your answers and wisdom may help our readers
  • We awarded the winners with real prizes (cash and/or gift cards) from our site sponsors
  • By entering the Stage of Life writing contests each month, writers were supporting our free educational literacy initiatives and their words reached hundreds of thousands of viewers who visited StageofLife.com

Find Us on Facebook      Follow Us on Twitter     Read our Founder's Blog

StageofLife.com was launched in 2009 as the premier destination for people of all ages to find information, coupons, and stories about one of ten key stage of life transitions:  high school, college, on my own, wedding, married without children, having a baby, home ownership, parenting, grand parenting, and empty nest/retirement.  Nearly 1 million visitors come to the site each year to find information about their stage of life.  Stage of Life users (teens, college students, Millennials, Gen Y, Gen X, and Baby Boomers) can also share and archive their life stories via their Stage of Life profile page.  Specialized content includes statistics, quotes, videos, financial tips, coupons, news, writing contests, and more tailored to each of the 10 life stages featured.  My Life Rewards® is the free discount program for all Stage of Life users, readers and writers dedicated to providing printable coupons and coupon codes tailored towards each stage of life.

Terms of Service and Privacy