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Second Chances: School of Life



Joined: 3/3/2016
Posts: 7
Marci Hart
Second Chances: School of Life

I used to have a lot of fear around giving people second chances. What if he were to lie to me again? What if she were to judge me harshly again? I used to try to decide whether to forgive, or trust people in the first place or not, based on whether I thought they were trustworthy. At some point, however, I realized that if I were going to trust others, I had to base my trust on myself, not on them. I learned that we often let each other down even when we don’t mean to. I realized that trusting others is always risky, heartbreak happens, and betrayals are often unplanned and therefore unpredictable. Experience taught me that instead of wrestling with whether or not I could trust other people, I could simply decide whether or not I wanted to take a risk, knowing that I may or may not be let down, but that I could always trust myself to recover, even if the worst happened.

I also began trying to make wiser choices when making new friends or deciding which relationships to continue. I learned that most people show us who they are and that it’s simply naive to “believe the best” of a person who shows clear signs of being a jerk. On the other hand, hearts are fickle, feelings change, and many people just don’t know themselves or what they want. They try to figure it out by trial and error, and even good people hurt others through sheer ignorance. What liberation it was for me to discover that I could let my guard down through trust in my own strength and resilience, no matter what other people did or didn’t do. Also, I could forgive anything, but forgiveness doesn’t always mean the continuation of an unhealthy liaison.

As I’ve gotten even older, and become a mother and a wife, I’ve had to face the reality that all relationships eventually end. We are all going to die one day. Many loved ones will die before me, and eventually I will leave others behind as well. Keeping ourselves emotionally distant from others by not trusting cannot completely save us from the pain of this, or any other loss. I would rather love and forgive fully, even recklessly, and suffer great pain of loss, than to hold grudges, withhold trust, and suffer the pain of regret of a half-lived life.



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