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Stolen Child



Joined: 12/18/2013
Posts: 5
UnluckytheGun
Even as the very young, drug-addicted, and single mother of my only child, I was able to recognize early on that motherhood was never going to the happy cake-walk that I had watched all of the women I knew experience it as being; in fact, I always harbored a very terrifying notion of the chaos to come in my future as a mom. The first few years are a total blur, as I was under the habitual influence of heroin until 2000. After I came back from the dead, however – I can honestly say that I tried the very best that I possibly could have to correct the damage I had done to my daughter by being so “unavailable” in mind, spirit and body during her infancy. Drug addiction is something that rips countless families apart, worldwide. It is a chronic unavailability that compares to no other in the eyes of one’s child; and one so destructive and powerful that in many cases, children of drug-addicts cultivate serious emotional issues and behaviors as a direct result.

In my case, I was too late to protect my daughter from myself; my own very first introduction to the notion of genetic demons … the time-stopping realization that I had inherited the monkey on my back from my mother…the same monkey that seemed increasingly itchy to finally leave me alone. The damage had been done before I woke up and recognized the imposing result of the role to my model. Taken in combination with other environmental variables such as a back-stabbing, conniving, and self-serving Munchausen grandmother (my mother), the prognosis for the situation has always seemed grim, at very best.

During her elementary years, she swung up and down and back and forth in her mood, her dramatics were on a grand scale; and were always accompanied by exceptional performances for all to see. My daughter has always been what I call a “compulsive liar”: someone who lies for no apparent reason and without obvious gain outside of a personal gratification of some sort. Human beings with character traits like this are very unpredictable and far from trustworthy, because you’ve always got to second guess everything that they tell you; and often times that second guess is one that leads you to an ugly and unwelcome reality. Either way, I personally bore one of these souls, and have struggled for the entirety of her existence to understand and try to make sense of her –for her.

In hindsight, I have failed her miserably; I have come across in Motherhood as exactly the mom I never thought I was capable of having in me…I have become the unstable, elusive, forlorn spirit of a ghost of a ghost in her perception – that of a sixteen year old young woman whom I hardly know. She is the truest love of my life and heart and I would kill or die for her, no questions asked...but she is intrinsically ill-natured, a predisposition only exacerbated by the broken, sadistic child welfare system in California over time. She had a very hard childhood, in comparison to my own. She suffered from an increasingly common disorder called Precocious Puberty, which made her body grow too quickly and her hormones abnormal. The physical manifestations of this particular disorder are obesity, early puberty and menstruation flow, as well as premature pubic and body hair growth. She was teased relentlessly throughout her childhood by her peers; kids are horribly cruel. Some days when I would pick her up from school, she would just climb into the backseat and cry quietly the entire ride home…it was heartbreaking. When she was in fourth grade, she left school during the lunch break recess and walked to my mother’s house a few blocks away, aware that nobody would be there at that time of day. Upon arriving, she opted to chop through the back door with a full-size wood ax and went inside “to use the bathroom”.
It was at that time that I became desperate for outside help with her totally crazy behaviors; and I was able at last to be successful in what I truly believed would be something that would change her future for the better…I never could’ve imagined what was to come for us – for her. The nightmare that followed a few more months of struggles with my sanity and unrelenting dramatic events, well… it’s a nightmare that is actually the story of what has happened in Real Life. “Life”, for me has most certainly changed dramatically since those final days of my frustrated, tired, single motherhood. It’s been five whole years that have come and gone without her… it only gets harder as time goes by, not easier – there’s no healing from the loss of one’s very essence and identity, as defined by the loss of a child born to her.

My daughter is not dead in the technical sense, she is technically very alive; and if one were to observe official documents in the local courtroom, she is described as being well-rounded, thriving, highly intelligent and “a natural leader amongst her peers…”As far as my own opinion goes, my child is being held hostage by the Department of Family & Children’s Services of Santa Clara County, in an out-of-state facility (Arizona) in which she is essentially being swept under the carpet by the DFCS until she turns 18. Meanwhile, her life has been shattered emotionally, spiritually and psychologically by the heinous circumstances brought about by the court’s orders and the actions of the Department.

…To Be Continued…
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