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I am scared of our kids sleeping in our bed forever.



Joined: 10/4/2013
Posts: 1
mamaho
When you hear the word family, what comes to mind? You might think of parents holding their children’s hands as they swing them around or people gathered around a turkey dinner.

However, if you put the word bed right after the word family, a completely different picture appears. Images of long limbs draped over your body and blanket tug-of-wars flash before your eyes - just before you black out from someone’s elbow connecting with your face.

This has been my husband’s and my life for the past seven years. Ever since our son and daughter crashed our party, it has been one long sleepover.

I loved slumber parties as a kid, but this is getting to be too much. It may have been feasible to squeeze four people into a bed when the kids were two feet tall, but they are now more than half our size - and growing. Upgrading to a king size mattress gave us some elbow space, but that has only bought us a little more time. I’m certain one night soon we will hear a loud thud when my husband free falls off the edge to the carpet below.

I had never planned on co-sleeping. However, all the assumptions I had pre-kids got thrown out the window when my son arrived. He was a classic fussy baby, needing to be held and nursed around the clock. Putting him in our bed made those blurry-eyed nights survivable. Sleeping together became our new normal, along with the other parenting novelties no one warns you about (ie. scooping up poop from the bathtub). And once routines are established, they are hard to change. Which is why I am scared of our kids sleeping in our bed forever.

My husband, on the other hand, enjoys our family bed. Sometimes I will catch him gazing at our children, his head close to their peaceful faces. When he remarks in a hushed tone, “They’re so cute!”, I turn to look at them, too. On my right, our son sleeps in a fetal position with one hand under his cheek. On my left, our daughter lies sprawled out with one leg draped over a pillow. I smile and for a moment, I find reasons to be thankful for sleeping like a canned sardine.

I get to feel their warm bodies unexpectedly embrace me at 3 in the morning. I am there to rub their backs when they whimper during a nightmare. I have the chance to hear them laugh when they have a good dream.

On nights when I get elbowed in the face, I tell myself that our kids will not always be sleeping with us. Someday they will be packing up their bags and moving out. When that day comes, I will have plenty of room to toss and turn as I please. I will be able to cuddle with my husband again. And I will have plenty of good memories of our family bed to fill my dreams.
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Comment by warren


Joined: 6/22/2011
Posts: 293
It was a problem to get our son down for the night, but fortunately, we never tried your approach. Hang in there and watch out for those elbows.
Posted: Friday, October 4, 2013 9:02:40 PM
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Comment by thiegsr


Joined: 11/6/2008
Posts: 702
On behalf of the entire StageofLife.com editorial board, I would like to congratulate you as being selected as the winner in our October / What Scares You writing contest. This is a huge honor and you should celebrate your accomplishment. We will be contacting you via your registration email for prize details.

Thanks for adding your voice to our mission “Changing the World, One Story at a Time”

Sincerely,
Rebecca Thiegs
StageofLife.com Co-Founder and Education Consultant
Posted: Monday, November 11, 2013 3:18:58 PM
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