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First Comes Love. Second Comes Marriage...OOPS



Joined: 11/11/2011
Posts: 1
A. Me.
They say there is a correct way of doing things. Being from a large Catholic family I am very aware of this. It has been instilled in me from a very young age. Even as a small girl in my Catholic school uniform (knee highs and all) I can remember chanting little songs, "First comes love. Second comes marriage. Then comes Amy pushing a baby carriage."

But what happens when you try that route, and it just doesn't work for you? Is that it? Is your happiness over? Do you sit around looking for someone or something to blame your EPIC FAIL on, or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on, making sure you learn from those mistakes?

You see, the great thing about all those years of wearing the knee highs, is that I've had to brush myself off a time or two. You don't get to be a foursquare champion in the schoolyard without a few bloody knees. So that's exactly what I did.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. It hurt. I mean it stung like hydrogen peroxide in brush-burns, but the stinging subsided eventually. I scabbed over, and before too, too long I was almost as good as new. I've got a few tiny scars, but you can't see them unless you look really closely, and sometimes I even forget they're there.

At this point in my life those scars don't even seem like defects or flaws anymore. They are just there to occasionally remind me of where I've come from, and where I've been. They remind me of the mistakes I've made, but only in a way that allows me feel thankful for my second chance.

I had the love. I had the marriage. I was even starting to consider the baby carriage. I was doing the correct things in the correct order. I had almost made it to the server's square when I was knocked out of the game for a few rounds.

This time around I'm playing by my own rules. I'm not a player in someone else's game. This is MY life, and while I may not be doing things the "correct" way, I'm doing them my way, or I guess I should say OUR way.

We have the love. We were planning the marriage, but we've since been pleasantly distracted with the baby carriage.

Now I won't delve into my religious views, I'll just simply say that there is a good side and bad side to almost everything including Catholicism. Dealing with the guilt of a failed marriage with your large Catholic family is brutal, but let's not forget about forgiveness. Forgiveness and love. There is always lots of love to go around. So when baby girl arrives in a few months she will feel nothing but love, and my large Catholic family will get even larger.
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Comment by A. Me.


Joined: 11/11/2011
Posts: 1
They say there is a correct way of doing things. Being from a large Catholic family I am very aware of this. It has been instilled in me from a very young age. Even as a small girl in my Catholic school uniform (knee highs and all) I can remember chanting little songs, "First comes love. Second comes marriage. Then comes Amy pushing a baby carriage."

But what happens when you try that route, and it just doesn't work for you? Is that it? Is your happiness over? Do you sit around looking for someone or something to blame your EPIC FAIL on, or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on, making sure you learn from those mistakes?

You see, the great thing about all those years of wearing the knee highs, is that I've had to brush myself off a time or two. You don't get to be a foursquare champion in the schoolyard without a few bloody knees. So that's exactly what I did.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. It hurt. I mean it stung like hydrogen peroxide in brush-burns, but the stinging subsided eventually. I scabbed over, and before too, too long I was almost as good as new. I've got a few tiny scars, but you can't see them unless you look really closely, and sometimes I even forget they're there.

At this point in my life those scars don't even seem like defects or flaws anymore. They are just there to occasionally remind me of where I've come from, and where I've been. They remind me of the mistakes I've made, but only in a way that allows me feel thankful for my second chance.

I had the love. I had the marriage. I was even starting to consider the baby carriage. I was doing the correct things in the correct order. I had almost made it to the server's square when I was knocked out of the game for a few rounds.

This time around I'm playing by my own rules. I'm not a player in someone else's game. This is MY life, and while I may not be doing things the "correct" way, I'm doing them my way, or I guess I should say OUR way.

We have the love. We were planning the marriage, but we've since been pleasantly distracted with the baby carriage.

Now I won't delve into my religious views, I'll just simply say that there is a good side and bad side to almost everything including Catholicism. Dealing with the guilt of a failed marriage with your large Catholic family is brutal, but let's not forget about forgiveness. Forgiveness and love. There is always lots of love to go around. So when baby girl arrives in a few months she will feel nothing but love, and my large Catholic family will get even larger.
Posted: Friday, November 11, 2011 11:25:56 PM
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Comment by jasoncaleb


Joined: 11/24/2010
Posts: 51
Thanks for sharing this story. I believe you speak a lot of truth when it comes to having scars. I think everybody has a few scars, some more than others, and I think there are people that, like you, are aware of those scars but carry on with them anyways, and they are humble enough to let those scars be the reminders of grace, of new beginnings, or whatever, and scars are not a horrible thing, or not as horrible as we make them out to be sometimes. And then there are some people who pretend their scars don't exist, or people that don't believe they have any scars at all because they "feel" they've done everything "right" in their life. Seems to me you come from a background where people are all about doing the "right" things, and probably people that play it off that they are "right" but really they're not.

I say good for you for going forward with your life in a direction that, though it may not be in agreement with your families views, you are choosing to at least move forward and do something with your life. I hope it goes good for you, a baby, no matter how it comes into the world whether through marriage or not, can and is a good thing. A baby is life, and life is good.

Hope to read more from you in the future!
Posted: Sunday, November 13, 2011 11:38:08 AM
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Comment by mcoly618


Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 472
I just wanted to let you know that we featured your essay on the Stage of Life Facebook page today. If you would like to check it, out go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stage-of-Life/70579036609 Feel free to share the news with your friends and family. You're famous! :)
Posted: Friday, December 16, 2011 4:35:43 PM
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