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Bittersweet Day



Joined: 4/20/2009
Posts: 121
mommy9
Today was a bit nerve wracking. We are expecting twins and I had an appointment with a specialist to do a level two sonogram. One of my blood tests came back positive showing that the babies could have Down's Syndrome. My husband had car trouble so he could not meet me for the appointment. As I lay on the table a bit nervous about what the doctors might find, I just began to pray for people.... especially sweet mommy friends who are either expecting or want to have a baby and are not pregnant yet.

The good news came a hour and a half later that both baby girls are growing well and there are no signs of Downs. I came home and was thanking God as I was going through some pretty baby girl clothes someone had given to us. Then the news came that my dear friend who is 11 weeks pregnant was in the Emergency Room today. The doctors could not find the baby's heartbeat. This precious young woman has two children but she has had about 7 miscarriages. My heart was broken for her and I began to question the Lord, "Why? I do not understand."

All day I felt guilty for being happy about my babies. All day I grieved for my dear friend and I am still upset for her. She lives in Michigan. I live in Arizona. I cannot go to her and sit with her. So I send her hugs and messages via Facebook. And I cry and ache for her.

Miscarriage is a silent pain. A hidden grief. I have experienced two. It is one of the most excruciating experiences a woman can have. Miscarriage is common, but the pain is deep and often quiet. My heart weeps for my dear friend in Michigan. What should someone do for a woman who is going through a miscarriage? This is what helped me.

1.Be there for your friend or loved one. That does not mean you have to say anything other than "I'm sorry." Too many words can sometimes turn into the wrong words.

2. Send a card. And send more than one. Let her know that you have not forgotten. The life of the baby was very real. Acknowledge the life of that child even if the miscarriage occured in the first weeks of pregnancy.

3. Take her and the family a meal, offer to come clean, or run errands.

4. Give the family a gift basket of special things. For example, a journal,chocolates,gift cards,small gifts for other children in the family, etc. Remember the entire family is affected by loss in miscarriage.

And remember that many women suffer this grief and often do not know where to go for help. Many woman fall into deep depression over the loss of a baby. Be sensitive and engaged during this time of her life.

Please share some of your ideas of how to reach out to a family who has lost a child to miscarriage or stillbirth.
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Comment by mommy9


Joined: 4/20/2009
Posts: 121
Today was a bit nerve wracking. We are expecting twins and I had an appointment with a specialist to do a level two sonogram. One of my blood tests came back positive showing that the babies could have Down's Syndrome. My husband had car trouble so he could not meet me for the appointment. As I lay on the table a bit nervous about what the doctors might find, I just began to pray for people.... especially sweet mommy friends who are either expecting or want to have a baby and are not pregnant yet.

The good news came a hour and a half later that both baby girls are growing well and there are no signs of Downs. I came home and was thanking God as I was going through some pretty baby girl clothes someone had given to us. Then the news came that my dear friend who is 11 weeks pregnant was in the Emergency Room today. The doctors could not find the baby's heartbeat. This precious young woman has two children but she has had about 7 miscarriages. My heart was broken for her and I began to question the Lord, "Why? I do not understand."

All day I felt guilty for being happy about my babies. All day I grieved for my dear friend and I am still upset for her. She lives in Michigan. I live in Arizona. I cannot go to her and sit with her. So I send her hugs and messages via Facebook. And I cry and ache for her.

Miscarriage is a silent pain. A hidden grief. I have experienced two. It is one of the most excruciating experiences a woman can have. Miscarriage is common, but the pain is deep and often quiet. My heart weeps for my dear friend in Michigan. What should someone do for a woman who is going through a miscarriage? This is what helped me.

1.Be there for your friend or loved one. That does not mean you have to say anything other than "I'm sorry." Too many words can sometimes turn into the wrong words.

2. Send a card. And send more than one. Let her know that you have not forgotten. The life of the baby was very real. Acknowledge the life of that child even if the miscarriage occured in the first weeks of pregnancy.

3. Take her and the family a meal, offer to come clean, or run errands.

4. Give the family a gift basket of special things. For example, a journal,chocolates,gift cards,small gifts for other children in the family, etc. Remember the entire family is affected by loss in miscarriage.

And remember that many women suffer this grief and often do not know where to go for help. Many woman fall into deep depression over the loss of a baby. Be sensitive and engaged during this time of her life.

Please share some of your ideas of how to reach out to a family who has lost a child to miscarriage or stillbirth.
Posted: Friday, August 14, 2009 7:46:40 AM
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