STAGE OF LIFE       Share Your Story       Coupons       Education Resources
Sign Up Now!

What Do You Mean, We Don’t NEED a Bathtub?



Joined: 11/9/2011
Posts: 23
NancyMyMoves
How to Stay Married While House-Hunting

Admittedly, I watch quite a few DIY/house-hunting/decorating channels on TV and get a little too involved. After a recent international house-hunting show, I decided that I need to move to a bungalow on the beach in Costa Rica. Right now. Oh, and I also need a lanai, even though I’m in Ohio…But I have to say my viewing pleasure has diminished recently and the house-hunting shows in particular make me cranky. Maybe I’ve slipped into a grouchier demographic (let’s not go there), but these programs seem to be showcasing more irritating, super-picky, naïve home buyers and squabbling couples.

But I WANT a Media Room!

I think we all can become a little nuts when moving and house-hunting, but people seem to have unreasonable expectations for the process and the first-timers are the worst – “But why can’t I have an oceanfront home in Malibu for $300,000?” or “I have to have granite countertops!” Let’s get real, people. I’ve owned homes for over 20 years and I don’t have either of those things

When a couple is on the hunt, it gets even more interesting. As for their bickering, they may have packed one too many moving boxes that day or are worried about not selling their house before they move. I’ll give them a pass. But as a former psychotherapist, it’s fascinating to me to hear the comments and see that body language (insert eye-roll here). It reminds me of doing couple’s counseling!

Typically, one person will instantly fall in love with a house and begin to rationalize its faults – “You never take baths, why do we need a bathtub?” which leads to more information than I need to know about their hygiene habits. Or it becomes a “if you get that, I get…” negotiation – “If you get a home office, I get a craft room!” You can usually tell, too, who has more power in decision-making by watching them do their thing. It’s fun when one partner has a defeated look, saying to the camera, “Cheryl knows what she wants and she usually gets it.”

Set Ground Rules

To make the process smoother and more productive, decide ahead of time what you’re both looking for in a new home. Let’s set some other ground rules for house-hunting. Pretend that it’s couple’s therapy and this is your homework assignment.

• Not another open house! – When you look at a gazillion open houses and go to showings every weekend, they start to blur. Sometimes one partner is more into it than the other. If one of you says, “I’ve had enough sensory overload today,” you need to respect that and go home. And NO drive-bys either.
• Make a list of wants, needs and don’t cares – You should each make a list separately and then compare. Share your lists without commenting. Divide both lists into wants and needs. It’s OK to have differences, but come to a decision on points that are deal-breakers.
• No “psychic spouse” – In my experience there’s usually one person in a couple who pouts if the other can’t read their mind. (“If you really loved me, you’d see into my cortex.”) Say out loud what you’re thinking as you walk through a home. If you hate the place, don’t wait till you’ve moved in to share that thought!
• Be cool in front of the realtor – Maybe it’s like bad reality TV and the couples on these shows forget they’re on camera - things can get tense, but don’t have a spat or act up in front of the realtor. SO not cool. Pretend it’s your mother-in-law. Do you really want to give her more ammunition?

That’s it for your homework. Not so bad or unreasonable, is it? So, good luck with your search for a new home and your move. Let me know how it goes or share your previous house-hunting stories. I’ll be here watching “Million Dollar Dream Homes I Can’t Afford.”
Rate this:
Comment by AmyDoodle


Joined: 6/23/2009
Posts: 38
Great tips! Thorough and entertaining. Thanks!
Posted: Saturday, November 12, 2011 2:48:23 AM
Rate this:
Comment by mcoly618


Joined: 5/2/2009
Posts: 472
I just wanted to let you know that we featured your essay on the Stage of Life Facebook page today. If you would like to check it, out go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/Stage-of-Life/70579036609

Feel free to share the news with your friends and family. You're famous! :)
Posted: Monday, November 14, 2011 2:23:11 PM
Rate this:
Comment by WriterchickNancy


Joined: 10/16/2009
Posts: 6
Thanks, as always Amy, for your nice words! And Megan, thanks for letting me know re: posted on the FB page. Like I need another reason to obsessively hang out there...;-)
Posted: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 4:14:57 PM
Rate this:
Comment by DarkStar49


Joined: 5/28/2009
Posts: 332
Ratings! I think personally that some....ok, maybe not all, but some of the drama is the simple fact that they are on camera and are trying out for their own reality show! It seems like as the years of and amount of home search shows have evolved, it sometimes looks a little scripted?! That said, great points you have made. When we were searching, we made a 3 a day rule. Give time to absorb and contemplate what we had seen. We were practical about our decisions...likes and dislikes... and ended up after some serious searching finding the home that felt...well, for lack of a better phrase...."felt like home"!
Posted: Friday, November 18, 2011 5:40:29 PM
Rate this:
Comment by Guest


Joined: 10/30/2008
Posts: 2,760
Thanks for being on point and on traegt!
Posted: Saturday, December 31, 2011 5:41:37 PM
Rate this:

Homeowners blog on StageofLife.comAbout Us StageofLife.com is a blogging community for homeowners.  It allows people who own their home to share stories about the adventure of home ownership in an online life journal via their free Stage of Life account.  Read the blogs and stories about home ownership, or check out the writing contest for homeowners, quotes about owning a home, home etiquette, videos about owning a home, discounts for homeowners, and other resources for having a baby on StageofLife.com.  Register to start your free profile, share an essay about your home, and pass along your wisdom to help us change the world, one story at a time.  If you are a college professor, teacher or educator - review our literacy, blogging and writing resources

Stage of Life Writing Contests

writing contests

Enter National Writing ContestWriting Contests

From 2010 to 2016, StageofLife.com ran a monthly, multi-generational writing contest.  With over 3,000,000 visitors and tens of thousands of participating students, teachers, parents, and bloggers involved over half a decade, StageofLife.com grew into the world's largest multi-generational writing community.

StageofLife.com writing contestsWhere is the Writing Contest Now?  As StageofLife.com grew into a global writing destination, the coordination of managing an international writing contest became too time intensive for the website's owners.  So starting on Sept. 4, 2016, StageofLife.com unfortunately had to end the writing contest portion of its services. 

However, we are now actively looking for new owners of StageofLife.com who may want to carry on the mission of helping to change the world, one story at a time.  If you know someone who may be interested in taking StageofLife.com to the next level, we can share details around the opportunity.  Please send an email to our owners if there's interest to acquire the website.

But in the meantime, there's still plenty to see and do here - just check out the various links and menus on the page.

Past Annual Writing Contest Results:  While the energy and time to carry on the StageofLife.com writing contest has come to a close, you can see summary reports and the winners from the monthly contests on our Writing Contest Winners page.  Tens of thousands of people have submitted essays over the last six years.  Our editorial team has been extremely grateful for all of the wonderful essays shared over the years - words and stories that have helped us change the world, one story at a time.


Sincerely,

--StageofLife.com owners Eric & Rebecca Thiegs and Joe & Lisa Thiegs


Bragging rights, international recognition, and gift card prizes were part of the fun for participants of the free writing contests on StageofLife.com.

Mentions for the Stage of Life teen writing contests, teen trend reports, etiquette Q&A, and teacher resources by...

Our writing contests mentioned by TIME.com
Our Teen Trend Report mentioned by MarketWatch Our etiquette resources mentioned by FOX Business Educator tips mentioned by Mashable

 

Each month over half a decade, Stage of Life hosted and judged writing contests for both students and adults.  We thank the below brands - our educational sponsors - who supplied gift cards as prizes for the winning essays as we helped the change the world through blogging, storytelling, and our literacy-based initiatives...

 Writing contest sponsor  Writing contest sponsor on StageofLife.com  Blogging contest prize sponsor Spa & Wellness gift cards by SpaWeek 


StageofLife.com writing contestsWhat made our writing contests different?

  • Stage of Life writing contests were always free to enter
  • Essays from our blogging and writing contests have been picked up by the media, e.g. TIME.com, and used by teachers as mentor texts across the globe
  • We wanted to hear your personal, authentic thoughts on real world topics each month.  We picked writing prompts for which your answers and wisdom may help our readers
  • We awarded the winners with real prizes (cash and/or gift cards) from our site sponsors
  • By entering the Stage of Life writing contests each month, writers were supporting our free educational literacy initiatives and their words reached hundreds of thousands of viewers who visited StageofLife.com

Find Us on Facebook      Follow Us on Twitter     Read our Founder's Blog

StageofLife.com was launched in 2009 as the premier destination for people of all ages to find information, coupons, and stories about one of ten key stage of life transitions:  high school, college, on my own, wedding, married without children, having a baby, home ownership, parenting, grand parenting, and empty nest/retirement.  Nearly 1 million visitors come to the site each year to find information about their stage of life.  Stage of Life users (teens, college students, Millennials, Gen Y, Gen X, and Baby Boomers) can also share and archive their life stories via their Stage of Life profile page.  Specialized content includes statistics, quotes, videos, financial tips, coupons, news, writing contests, and more tailored to each of the 10 life stages featured.  My Life Rewards® is the free discount program for all Stage of Life users, readers and writers dedicated to providing printable coupons and coupon codes tailored towards each stage of life.

Terms of Service and Privacy