What have teens learned from their parents?

Question:  What's something you don't know about your parents? (Teens were asked to interview parents to learn more about them).

Answer:  Our results are in:  Out of scores of essays and responses, 1 out of 2 teens had a paradigm shift about their parents after they asked their parents to tell them something they didn't know.

• Parental Paradigm Shift Occurred = 50%

• No Shift Occurred = 26%

• Ambiguous = 24%

Below is StageofLife.com's summary report on what teens learned about their parents compiled from the data, insights and essays shared by students in high school and college participating in StageofLife.com's proprietary student writing contest series.

This includes a showcase of scores of essays from high school and college students (see below) as they answered the writing contest writing prompt...

"What's something you don't know about your parents?"

Introduction:

We grow up under the guidance of these people called "parents." They like to walk around and act like they own the place.  They changed our diapers.  They burped us.  They fed us.  And they loved us.  Some maybe had better ways of showing it than others, but they all did love us in their own way.

Suddenly, as teenagers, after years of care-giving, coaching, discipline, and "please eat your vegetables," we find ourselves in a place where we can suddenly pretty much take care of ourselves without our parents. 

We asked teens and college students to "interview,"  their parents and ask them one question:  "Tell me something I don't know about you."  Students could also pose this question to grandparents or any key parental figure in their life.

Student Reach:

Over 5,280 students from all 50 US states, 72 international countries, and over 1,300 cities visited the StageofLife.com writing contest page during the month of essay contest (June 2011), and scores of high school and college students submitted their thoughts about the media via their 500 word essay.  From the essay submissions, five key themes and trends emerged about prom:

Teen Trends / Themes on Parents:

1. Parents Are Human: Many teens faced a shocking realization—their parents were once teenagers too! Teens discovered that their parents often made the same mistakes that they were making, or had made before. Many teens appreciated this discovery, and now seek their parents’ advice regularly.

2.      Go For Your Dreams: Teens also learned that their parents did not get to achieve their dreams, and this is why their parents push them so hard academically. Parents only want to see their children succeed and be happy.

3.      Childhood Stories: When teens asked their parents to tell them a story, many teens were relayed stories from their parents’ childhoods; tales about thievery, hardships in different countries, and simple ways to be happy.

4.      …Or No Stories At All: But some teens did not receive stories at all; instead, they heard only the distance in their relationship with their parents.

Data: 

Of the high school and college students either visiting StageofLife.com, completing the teen survey or participating in the essay contest...

• 5,286 teen/college students from 72 countries and over 1,300 cities visited writing contest page (86% were from the US)

• 710 poll votes were gathered
• Nearly 100 qualified essays were submitted (see below essays)
• Top ten U.S. states sending students to the writing contest page (in rank percentage order):
  1. California    
  2. New Jersey    
  3. New York
  4. Virginia    
  5. Pennsylvania    
  6. Florida     
  7. Texas     
  8. Illinois         
  9. Maryland     
  10. Massachusetts
• Top ten cities sending students to the contest page: 

1. Los Angeles
2. New York
3. San Diego
4. Chicago
5. Culpeper
6. Flemington
7. Mountain Lakes
8. Seoul
9. York
10. Manakin Sabot

• Majority of students visiting contest page came from a Google search.  The primary sources of traffic came from "direct" (students already familiar with StageofLife.com), Bing.com, and then the StageofLife.com eNewsletter.
• 73% of the teens were first time visitors to the StageofLife.com writing contest
• Pre-Essay Teen Poll Results:
• POSTED SOON

See the Full Poll Report on the Pre-Essay StageofLife.com POLL results about teen challenges.

The Essays: 

Immediately below, you'll find featured links to the StageofLife.com winning essay, our semi-finalists and over 85 other prom essays from college students and teenagers that answered the question, "What is something you don't know about your parents?"

Please take a few moments to read an essay or two. If you have the time, make a comment on the responses you enjoyed the most.  We know the student writers will love hearing your positive input (they'll get an email notifying them if you comment on their contest entry).

Winner: I’ve learned from my father always by tonytonycc (His family reveals information sparingly)

Runners-Up: 

• I learned from my father the meaning of courage by 2013jchen (His father was a student leader in 1989’s Tiananmen Square protests)
• I Learned From My Mother the Magic of Summer by randomcat (This teen learned to love the sights and sounds of summer)
• I learned from my mother that walking through a minefield isn’t the hardest part of life by annatran33 (Her mom had a difficult life in Cambodia)  

Finalists:

• I learned from my grandmother… by ShaniceStephenson.2012 (Her parents were drug addicts; their addiction forced them to give up their child—the writer—to her grandmother)  
• I learned from my father the meaning of courage by 2013jchen (His father was a student leader in 1989’s Tiananmen Square protests)
• I’ve learned from my father always by tonytonycc (His family reveals information sparingly) 
•  I Learned That My Father is Uncommunicative by Chelarose (This teen’s parents have trouble communicating with her) 
• I Learned From My Mother the Magic of Summer by randomcat (This teen learned to love the sights and sounds of summer)
•   I Learned From My Mother That I Am A Miracle by laurengripp14 (This teen was born very prematurely… and survived)  
• I Learned from My Mother That Shared Interests Don’t Translate to Friendships by juliemegan1997 (This teen found that she and her mother are very alike, despite their frequent fights)
• I learned from my mother that anyone can save a life by jk3 (Her mom’s life was saved by a cleaning lady)  
• I learned from my mother that walking through a minefield isn’t the hardest part of life by annatran33 (Her mom had a difficult life in Cambodia) 
•   I Learned From My Mother the Art of Loving by coffeelatte (This teen’s mom pushes her because her mom dropped out of college)
• I Learned from My Mother that She Was a Thief as a Child by ascanameo (Her mom used to steal from her family)
• I learned from my mother what the meaning of true strength is by websterk13 (This teen learned the meaning of “work hard” after abandoning her goal of enlisting in the army)

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Aside from the finalists, we had a wide variety of teen writing contest entry essays about prom.  We've categorized the responses by parents.

About Mothers

• I Learned From My Mother How My Parents Met by gracemattsson94 (Her parents met in the healthcare industry
• I learned from my mother that she brought the “Adopt a Grandparent” program to her high school by akaufmann14 (This teen’s mom visited nursing homes as part of an “adopt a grandparent” program)
• I learned from my mother… by zkuehm14 (This teen’s mom gave up the opportunity to play college softball to become a successful businesswoman)
• I Learned from My Mother That She Was Both Class Valedictorian and Class Clown by nhenning14 (Her “uptight” mom used to be the class clown)I Learned From My Mother the Sound of My Heart Beat by cgordon13 (This teen’s mom used to be an EMT in high school)
•  I Learned From my Mother that She Worked for a Record Label in College by ccastellana14 (His mom used to work for a heavy metal record label)
•  I Learned From My Mother the Art of Loving by coffeelatte (This teen’s mom pushes her because her mom dropped out of college)
•     I Learned From My Mother How To Love by la.surfer29 (His mom taught him happiness and love)
•   I learned from my mother that sometimes things are best unsaid by xfhjm (This teen’s mom went on a long vacation with friends at 14)
•  I Learned From My Mother by derek.c.chen (His grandfather was a four star general in the Chinese army)
•  I Learned From My Mother… by svandyke13 (This teen’s mom had an unpleasant experience with a cactus)
•   I Learned From My Mom Never to Give Up Without Trying by mwdoquilo (This teen’s mom had wanted to be a doctor)
•   I Learned from my Mother… by zwing0216 (This teen’s mom had an interesting childhood)
•  I learned from my mother that she punched someone in the face by apalazzi14 (Her mom punched an annoying boy who wouldn’t stop teasing her)
• I have learned from my mother that I was foretold to be born by a psychic by arleneblabagno (This teen’s mom was predicted to have a child by a psychic)
•  I learned from my mother that hard work is vital by kmbrlylu (Her mother had a rough childhood in China)
•  I learned from my mother that walking through a minefield isn’t the hardest part of life by annatran33 (Her mom had a difficult life in Cambodia)
• I learned from my mother that she was very similar to, yet different from, me by girlygirl45 (Her mom told her stories that made her better understand both her mother and herself)
• I Learned From My Mother That She Wanted To Be a Singer by J_Nguyen (This teen’s mom wanted to be a professional Vietnamese singer)
• I learned from my mother how to overcome peer pressure by EDHDthepoet (Her mother used to be a chain smoker
• .  I learned from my mother how to freak out by n1salamander (Her mom “freaks out” when she is upset)
•   I learned from my mother that anyone can save a life by jk3 (Her mom’s life was saved by a cleaning lady)
•  I learned from my mom that things are not always as they seem by Meghan_Luebbert (This teen’s mom did not have a healthy relationship with her mother)
•   I Learned from My Mother that She Was a Thief as a Child by ascanameo (Her mom used to steal from her family)
•   I learned from my mother how to live for others by SHAHGUL (Her mom taught her to live for her family)
•   I learned from my mom… by leshkateshka (Her mom had to get ready and walk to school in kindergarten)
•  I learned from my mother about the importance of family by bebechan (Her mother taught her that family is put in your life for a reason)
•  I learned from my mother that I owe her my life by princess.anokhi17 (A mother is equivalent to God)
•  I learned from my mother that was she an inspiring musician in her community by A bene placito (This teen’s mom played gigs with her band in South Korea)
•  I Learned From My Mother That the Core Counted More by riserthinking (This teen’s mom taught him that appearances aren’t everything)
• I Learned from My Mother That Shared Interests Don’t Translate to Friendships by juliemegan1997 (This teen found that she and her mother are very alike, despite their frequent fights)
• I learned from my mother what the meaning of true strength is by websterk13 (This teen learned the meaning of “work hard” after abandoning her goal of enlisting in the army)
•  I learned from my mother that she was homeless by finchel (When this teen’s mom went to visit a friend in Switzerland, problems with her visa wouldn’t let her return home)
•   I learned from my mother her toddlerhood house by katiewf (This teen’s mom lived in an octagonal house as a child)
•  I learned from my mother that she went to Rome by anthony lucid (His mom spent some time in Rome when she was 20-something)
•  I learned from my mom that we’re not that different by smorrill26 (This teen’s mom has experienced a lot of the same problems that she has I learned from my mother… by Mxdimples (This teen’s mom got pregnant at 15)
• I learned from my mother that people can’t bring you down by sanya100 (This teen’s mom failed a tough exam)\
•  I learned from my mother about foreign lovers by ntrapp (Her mom carried on a secret relationship with a boy in Colombia)
•  I learned from my mom that she’s just like me by missshelbydawn (Teens should learn to turn to their parents for advice)
• I learned from my mother to travel on a yellow brick road by tammany (This teen’s mom grew up in Mao’s China)
•  I learned from my mother that she was very lucky because of me by phentakeda (Her mom was lucky to avoid going to a club that burned down)
• I learned from my mom that my grandmother was a brave soul by Mulderjr (This teen’s grandmother rescued Jewish prisoners during World War II)
• I learned from my mother what not to do by Trinity_Daniels (Her mother cheated on her father)
•   I Learned From My Mother the Magic of Summer by randomcat (This teen learned to love the sights and sounds of summer)
•  I Learned From My Mother That I Am A Miracle by laurengripp14 (This teen was born very prematurely… and survived)
•   I Learned From My Mother: To Believe by ciaobella14 (Her mother wanted to be a writer)
•  I learned from my mom that my mom’s parents died in a raging house fire by lifelikekids (Her mother was adopted after her parents suffered a tragic death)
•  I learned from my mother that you cannot give up on something important to you by Theresa (If you want something, you have to be proactive and never give up)
• I learned from my mother that she is human by kdong17 (His mom was forced to raise him alone after her husband passed away)
• I learned from my mother that nothing should be taken at face value by deepadarani (Her mother was inappropriately touched by a teacher)

About Fathers

• I Learned That My Father Used To Be A Bouncer by mwalsh12 (This teen’s dad used to be a bouncer for a nightclub in Philadelphia, and a bartender that broke up fights)
• I learned from my father that it is alright to be afraid sometimes by awalker14 (This teen’s “no fear” father was petrified to start college
•  I learned from my dad that he played ice hockey in college by jwhang14 (His dad was an aggressive ice hockey player in college)
•  I learned from my father… by jwendler14 (This teen’s dad threw a dart at his brother’s eye)
•   I learned from my father… by nkalamaras14 (This teen’s dad was robbed while working at a deli)
•  I learned from my father that he used to sing by skool grl 13 (Her “body builder” dad used to sing in a choir)
•   I learned from my father he is a party man by Halaaa94 (This teen learned that his strict father used to be a big troublemaker)
•  I learned from my father to always follow your dreams by nutty410 (This teen’s dad dropped out of college a few credits short of graduating)
•     I learned from my father that he could have died by JDomonique (His dad was held at gunpoint while working the graveyard shift at a motel)
•   I learned from my father that he was engaged to another woman before he married my mother by mangubaf (Her dad was in love with another woman)
• I learned from my father that your past doesn’t make who you are now by Cheyenne (Her dad made something out of his rough past)
• I learned from my father the beauty of life and how not just to cherish it, but to share it with everyone by Nightshadow (This teen’s father sacrifices his free time to work for his children)
• I learned from my father parents try to have good intentions by Shelton154 (Her dad pretended to love her coconut treats, even though he was allergic to coconut)
•  I Learned That My Father is Uncommunicative by Chelarose (This teen’s parents have trouble communicating with her)
•  I learned from my father about myself by lmazz8 (This teen is attending the same college that her father did)
•   I learned from my father how to play field hockey by sanya100 (Her dad taught her how to play field hockey)
•   I learned from my father the meaning of courage by 2013jchen (His father was a student leader in 1989’s Tiananmen Square protests)
• I’ve learned from my father always by tonytonycc (His family reveals information sparingly
•  I learned from my father summer breaks can shape your life by mkestes (Chase your dreams, but don’t forget to spend time with those are who most important)
•   I Learned From my Father the True Meaning of Happiness by NRNT (You don’t need a lot of money in life to be happy)
•   I Learned From My Father Appreciation by artfreak889 (Her father is a workaholic)
•   I learned from my father that a simple man can be a hero by foshoyeg (His father pushes him so he doesn’t have to struggle like his father did)I learned from my father that nothing is promised by 9jasmine4 (Her father lost his best friend in the Hillsborough disaster)

Parents

• I learned from my mother and father their childhood experiences by spike312 (This teen’s mom wanted to be a pediatrician; this teen’s dad passed away when he was young)
• I learned from my father’s and mother’s childhood by Yuliana (This teen learned that her parents had difficult childhoods)
• I Learned From My Parents… by gschiller14 (Her parents hated each other in college)
•    I learned from my mother/father…they do what they do to protect me by xXTaylorBugsXx (Her parents struggled when they were young)

• I learned from my mother/father that they tied the knot after one month of knowing each other by yvig92 (Her parents married after only one month of communication) I Learned From My Parents to Never Let Anyone Get in the Way of Your Dreams by foreveRizel (This teen’s parents lost sight of their old dreams)

Grandparents

• I learned from my grandmother… by ShaniceStephenson.2012 (Her parents were drug addicts; their addiction forced them to give up their child—the writer—to her grandmother)

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Last Words: 

We could not list all of the essays submitted for this contest, but we thank every student that participated in the conversation about prom.  To enter the current Stage of Life monthly writing contest for high school students and college students: