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Married Without Kids Editor's Welcome: May 15th-30th, 2012
Our Fridge is Outta Control
By Cece Kemp, Married Without Kids Editor
Our refrigerator had gotten out of control. My husband is basically unstoppable when it comes to the way he throws things back in the fridge without regard to where they came from after he takes them out. Accordingly, I gave up on asking him to try to put stuff back where he found it. The freezer is fine because stuff that comes out of there usually stays out. Turns out there is a reason for putting the cheese, lunch meat and the vegetables back where you found them and it wasn't just me being an OCD naggy wife. After a while I couldn't find anything. I'd open the doors to look and then say forget it and just ask Mj if he knew if we had anymore egg beaters or whatever else I was looking for because I'd given up on trying to dig through the mess that had become our fridge. Nothing seemed to fit and everything was crammed everywhere into every nook and cranny.
I got really annoyed every time I needed to get something and told Mj he needs to organize this fridge. Not because I didn't want to. I've done it before...and look how that turned out. I just thought it might be something that he'd maintain if it was his project and he did it himself. Well, not surprisingly that didn't happen and I finally had enough. I got tired of cramming things in, wrenching things out and digging around whenever I needed something. Our refrigerator is a good size, we don't even have THAT much food and there is no reason that everything shouldn't fit. I announced that I was fed up and couldn't take it anymore. Not only was this refrigerator getting re organized but it's dirty and it needs a good cleaning. I took everything out including the one removable shelf and the drawers. Mj washed those out while I went about scrubbing down the shelves. One by one I put every single item back and a miracle happened. Everything fit with room to spare. We'd only removed a few items and trashed them so basically the same amount of food that was crammed in there before now fit with no problem.
That very night Mj threw an onion in the door after he used it. "Why did you do that?" I asked. "I don't know." He moved it. Then, he caught himself as he was about to put the lunch meat in some random place. Progress. I'm hoping that actually seeing how non functional our refrigerator had become will get him to see how the simple act of putting stuff back where you got it can make a big difference over the long term. I can always hope right?
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Editor's Welcome: May 1st-15th, 2012
Man Code
By Elle Lamboy, Married Without Kids Editor
Throughout my life, I’ve always had more male friends than female friends. I’m not sure if it is because I was so close to my younger brother growing up, or if I just have more in common with the guys than the gals. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriends that I do have to death—there’s nothing like a good group of girlfriends. My boys are just a lot less maintenance and a lot more accepting than most of my girls.
I always assumed that my guy friends were as open with their girlfriends and wives about things as they were with me. Fortunately, my husband is pretty open with me about pretty much everything; including his outings with his male friends—even the bachelor party activities.
Over the weekend, I had to pick up the guys from a bachelor party. I did think it was strange that I was the only wife picking up 6 of the guys, but I figured it was because some of the guys have children and their wives needed to stay home with them.
As I picked up my husband and his drunken compadres, they were horrified to hear my hubby start to tell me about the “crazy looking dancer that was stalking the groom-to-be.”
“Dude, shut upppppp”, his one friend yelled from the back seat, “MANNNNN CODE.”
“Guys,” I replied cautiously as not to startle them, “I don’t care that you went to the strip club.”
“Well,” his other friend attempted to reply through his beer haze, “ You are either lying, or the coolest wife in the world.”
After I dropped them all off, I asked my husband what this “man code” was all about. According to him, the guys had to promise not to tell their wives where they went for the bachelor party; because their women would literally kill them if they knew they went to a strip club. They all took an oath or pledged to the “man code” that they wouldn’t say a peep about where they went. It reminded me a little bit of the The Hangover movie when the one friend tells his wife they are going to a winery instead of Vegas.
I find this very interesting. I have one rule for my hubby when it comes to strip clubs, “Do not go into the champagne room.” Other than that, I could honestly care less.
I can’t help but wonder if this fear from the men is valid or not. Am I just okay with this because I grew up around so many guys? Am I jaded? Do women really care about this barbaric tradition? Should I care more? Would their wives really kill them if they found out?
The next morning, I received a text from almost every one of the guys I dropped off telling me that I couldn’t “say anything about the strip club or the fact that I picked them up.”
WHAT?!
My husband then informed me that the wives would be really mad and probably offended if they knew the guys asked me to pick them up instead of asking their own wives. The story is that “they rented a limo that dropped them each off at their homes.”
So, I guess I am now pledging to this man code.
As a man, do you believe in the “man code?” Ladies, do you allow your husband to partake in bachelor party activities as long as he behaves? Don't forget to enter our Marriage Writing Contest! |
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Editor's Welcome: April 15th-30th, 2012
Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
By Cece Kemp, Married Without Kids Editor
On my way to work the other day the DJ was reading a list of Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls written by Kate Connor on her blog Lilly Pads. Number 10 really struck a cord with me. I didn't realize how much it would mean or that I even needed to hear it at all until I did. As I sat in my car outside work and finished listening these powerful words brought tears to my eyes and touched a place deep within my heart. I'm not a teenager anymore but I can still relate. It applies to women of all ages.
You are beautiful. You are enough. The world we live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny, firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are not educated enough. You don’t have enough experience. You are not creative enough.
There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a television industry, (and most unfortunately) a pornography industry: and all of these have unique ways of communicating to bright young women: you are not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough.
You must have the clarity and common sense to know that none of that is true. None of it.
You were created for a purpose, exactly so. You have innate value. You are loved more than you could ever comprehend; it is mind-boggling how much you are adored. There has never been, and there will never be another you. Therefore, you have unique thoughts to offer the world. They are only yours, and we all lose out if you are too fearful to share them.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.
I know how it feels to be that girl who feels worthless and does not believe she is good enough. I've come such a long way towards accepting and finding the good in myself after spending so many years tearing myself down. I am not the same person I was in my teens and 20's and that's a good thing. Some measure of peace and acceptance has come with age, life experiences and a wonderful husband and for that I am grateful. Had I heard these same words back then they would have made me cry but I probably wouldn't have believed them for even a second. Today they not only made me cry but I actually believe them to be true. I cried for the sad and depressed teenage girl I used to be but then I smiled at the more confident and happy woman I have become.
They say you cannot love anyone else unless you love yourself. I didn't believe it before but it is absolutely true. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to be a better person and it is only then that the love you were meant to have will find it's way into your life.
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Editor's Welcome: April 15th-30th, 2012
Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
By Cece Kemp, Married Without Kids Editor
On my way to work the other day the DJ was reading a list of Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls written by Kate Connor on her blog Lilly Pads. Number 10 really struck a cord with me. I didn't realize how much it would mean or that I even needed to hear it at all until I did. As I sat in my car outside work and finished listening these powerful words brought tears to my eyes and touched a place deep within my heart. I'm not a teenager anymore but I can still relate. It applies to women of all ages.
You are beautiful. You are enough. The world we live in is twisted and broken and for your entire life you will be subjected to all kinds of lies that tell you that you are not enough. You are not thin enough. You are not tan enough. You are not smooth, soft, shiny, firm, tight, fit, silky, blonde, hairless enough. Your teeth are not white enough. Your legs are not long enough. Your clothes are not stylish enough. You are not educated enough. You don’t have enough experience. You are not creative enough.
There is a beauty industry, a fashion industry, a television industry, (and most unfortunately) a pornography industry: and all of these have unique ways of communicating to bright young women: you are not beautiful, sexy, smart or valuable enough.
You must have the clarity and common sense to know that none of that is true. None of it.
You were created for a purpose, exactly so. You have innate value. You are loved more than you could ever comprehend; it is mind-boggling how much you are adored. There has never been, and there will never be another you. Therefore, you have unique thoughts to offer the world. They are only yours, and we all lose out if you are too fearful to share them.
You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.
I know how it feels to be that girl who feels worthless and does not believe she is good enough. I've come such a long way towards accepting and finding the good in myself after spending so many years tearing myself down. I am not the same person I was in my teens and 20's and that's a good thing. Some measure of peace and acceptance has come with age, life experiences and a wonderful husband and for that I am grateful. Had I heard these same words back then they would have made me cry but I probably wouldn't have believed them for even a second. Today they not only made me cry but I actually believe them to be true. I cried for the sad and depressed teenage girl I used to be but then I smiled at the more confident and happy woman I have become.
They say you cannot love anyone else unless you love yourself. I didn't believe it before but it is absolutely true. Focus on yourself and what you need to do to be a better person and it is only then that the love you were meant to have will find it's way into your life.
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Editor's Welcome: April 1st-15th, 2012
I Shutter at the Thought!
By Elle Lamboy, Married Without Kids Editor
Now that am a wife and a homeowner, there are things in my stream of consciousness that I never really cared about before or even noticed while single and renting.
Things like: foodnetwork.com, or how to arrange a killer flower bouquet, or men’s shirt sizes (who ever heard of a 16 and 1\2?!) and even Yankee Candle scents.
The latest things that have consumed my universe are: shutters.
Honestly, I don’t think I ever noticed shutters until this month. I mean, obviously I knew they existed, but I never really took much notice of them. Until….the holly trees were removed.
My husband and father-in-law completely cut down these two HUGE holly trees in front of our home; making the front of our house entirely visible for the first time since we moved in about three years ago.
“Doesn’t it look all nice and open now?” my husband asked, proud of his accomplishment.
“Ummm, something’s just not sitting right with me.” I replied, trying to decipher why I had a knot of ugliness in my stomach.
“ITS THOSE SHUTTERS!!!" I exclaimed as if I just discovered gold, “They’ve got to go!”
The shutters look like were originally a brown color, but over the years, have turned into to a sickly peach color, giving our entire home a washed out ‘70s kinda feel to it.
I’ve also learned, in my shutter findings, that they are “louvered” as opposed to the newly modern “ raised panel“ style, which I prefer.
So, my husband and I headed to Loews to shutter shop. After this experience, I now know how men feel when drug to the mall…. but I digress.
When we finally made it to the shutter section we were faced with the task of choosing a color. Originally, I wanted black shutters with a bright red door. However, my husband pointed out, that wouldn’t work because we have a brown roof.
Did you ever realize roofs had different colors to them?! Me either.
Despite my reservations, I decided on dark navy despite the fact that I am not a typical fan of blue.
Honestly, the only blue I’ve ever liked is the blue color of Frank Sinatra’s eyes…..but that isn’t a color choice and the sales lady at Loews did not find my inquiry funny.
In order for me to still have my red door, though, navy was the smartest choice but, as I said to the poor Loews salesperson, “It has to be the perfect shade of navy.”
Yet, there also isn’t just a color shade named “navy” or “Elle’s perfect shade of navy so dark it almost looks black navy.” Instead we were faced with a small catalogue of colors entitled: midnight sky, indigo blue and mountain blue, among others.
So, too indecisive to choose on the spot, we took the catalogues and small samples home to make our decision.
During that whole week, I became obsessed with shutters. I stared at all the homes in our neighborhood; analyzing their choice of shutters in accordance with their siding, roof and door colors. I was a woman obsessed. At my lowest point, I took my phone out at a red light and took a picture of a house with navy shutters to show my husband.
“You are crazy,” he replied with his usual Imarriedacrazywoman look, “Let’s just pick something out before you get arrested for trespassing/peeping.”
So, after days of contemplation, we’ve decided on the raised panel shutter in indigo blue. They should arrive in about two weeks and in the meantime I am now tasked with finding the perfect color of red for my door.
Do you know how many shades of red spray paint there are?!?!?!?
Let obsession #2 begin.
What thing are you now obsessed with that you never gave a second thought to in your single life? Don't forget to enter our Marriage Writing Contest! |
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