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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: May 1st-15th, 2012
Recording my Baby "Talking"
By Jason Gerringer, Having a Baby Editor
Do you ever record your baby when they are “talking?” Perhaps they are making weird and funny noises, and you capture it on camera. I love the technology we have these days that we’re able to capture these moments instantly with the use of smart phones and digital cameras. We do often record our daughter when she makes silly noises, or if she’s getting into mischief like chasing our two cats around, or when she’s playing with her food rather than eating it.
Lately, my favorite thing to do is to play the recordings to my daughter. She becomes mesmerized by what she sees, and she laughs at herself when she sees the funny things she does. There’s something I find intriguing about the way babies notice themselves. When we stand in a mirror with them, when they know we hold them and they see us in the reflection with them, I imagine they see themselves in the mirror and they are amazed at what they see.
My greatest hope is that my daughter will forever see something beautiful in the reflection of the mirror or in the recorded images of herself. For as long as I can, I’m going to hold onto this image of her, that she is completely innocent and carefree, and that she doesn’t see any blemish yet, she only sees a smiling face that enjoys laughing. She sees herself in a way that she will never see herself again.
I’m going to miss that, as she gets older, and I hope that we don’t embarrass her too much with all the videos we are collecting of her in this age of her life.
Does your baby enjoy looking in the mirror; do you show them the videos you make of them? You should. Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: April 15th-30th, 2012
Listening to Your Gut
By Buffy Lael, Having a Baby Editor
It’s been a little crazy around our house the last couple of weeks as we try to navigate the world of “early intervention.”
The quick re-cap goes a little something like this….
Our daughter started babbling and cooing just like every baby out there. She started walking at 9 months –a tad early but we dealt with it! We taught her sign language early on, at about 7 months. She was able to sign easily at 10-12 months a few simple words. We stopped signing when she started talking. I believe her first word was “Hi!” Last fall she “stalled” and slowed down when it came to adding new words to her vocabulary. And then this Spring we noticed that words she used to say frequently…..she simply stopped saying all together.
We talked to family and friends about our concerns. Most of them gave stories about “late talkers” and that we were “first time parents, stop worrying” advice. It’s really easy to want to believe all of those things. But in my gut, I knew something wasn’t right. As much as I wanted to believe she was just a “late bloomer”, I couldn’t shake that nagging feeling.
So at her well-child check we discussed it with our pediatrician. I went over her language development history in as much detail as I could remember. She agreed there were worries and sent us to a speech language pathologist (SLP) for evaluation. At the evaluation, the SLP confirmed there was a delay and made further referrals for more sessions and early intervention services. She is on the road to getting what she needs for successful language development.
Listen to your gut. I can tell you as a medical professional, we would much rather have you check it out and it turn out to be nothing vs. not checking it at all and it turns out to be a big deal. Mother Nature gave you that gut for a reason. Using your gut instinct on behalf of another person is a skillset only parents have. Trust it.
What has your gut told you recently about your child? Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: April 1st-15th, 2012
Watching my Baby Grow
By Jason Gerringer, Having a Baby Editor
We bought our daughter a little chair. It’s her very own pink chair that rocks back and forth, and she’s discovered that this makes for plenty of enjoyment. There’s something invigorating about being a baby I think. You go from having no ability to do anything for yourself, to developing into this little human being who can walk and run, and pick things up and throw things. The joy of their first step is just as exciting as the first time they crawled. Each new discover has its joy, and I don’t ever grow tired of watching her excitement with each new discovery.
I used to think that the older they got, the easier it would be for me as a parent. I figured I would have less to do. Eventually they learn to feed themselves, so no more bottles, no more sitting in front of a high chair spooning food into their mouths. But then as this happens, I discover there is still responsibility, it’s just different. I no longer have to concentrate on getting her to eat her food, but I still have to be present and in the room where she is eating so that she doesn’t put too much food in her mouth and choke.
The same is going to happen I’m sure when she is potty trained. There will be this feeling that I don’t have to do more work because I’m out of diaper changing duty, but then she’s still going to need supervision while she’s in a bathroom so that she will learn not to stick her hands in the toilet.
She loves her chair. And she’s brave and oblivious enough that she climbs all over it, and because it rocks back and forth, she leans as far back on it as she can, and without our vigilance, I’m sure she would have fallen flat on her face by now. My hope is that she’ll soon learn to enjoy the chair for its purpose. I hope she eventually uses it to sit in and read her books or watch her kid shows, and that she won’t climb on it and act like a stuntwoman.
Until then, I’ll be watching her closely, as I should. Though she’s learning so much, she hasn’t learned to be fully dependent. And so I guess the epiphany here is that she won’t learn independence until she becomes an adult. I guess there’s no major breaks for parents, and I’m slowly learning that I think.
I hope you’re enjoying every moment of your baby’s development. May you cherish the experience of having one and watching them grow.
Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: March 16th-31st, 2012
What's in a Name?
By: Buffy Lael, Having a Baby Editor
The naming process of your little one can be one of stress for many couples. Every couple tends to do it differently. Some come to the relationship with the name already picked! (“I’ve always wanted an Ethan since I first heard it when I was 9!”) Some divide the duties. (“You pick the first name, I’ll pick the middle”). Even still some wait for fate to decide. (“I’ll know what her name will be when I see her.”) Whatever way you choose, consider it the right way because there is not one better way over another.
For us, it was important to honor the patriarch of the family by naming our daughter after him. Passing a name on through generations meant something to both of us. Ántonea (the female version of Anthony) was our nod towards her Italian heritage. Her personality is spunky and full of loud personality and with that she has become Nea.
We decided her middle name needed to be something that was important to her parents. Her great-great-grandparents came over from Italy through Ellis Island and my hubby and I took a vacation to NYC spending time there a few years ago. We fell in love with the place and its story. It was a win-win to make her middle name Ellis, a place that has heritage as well as special meaning to us.
To nick-name or not to nick-name, that is the question. Most of the time nick-names develop in an organic way and I always find these stories fascinating. Ántonea is fairly formal, which is really odd to look at your newborn and call them such a big grown-up name! Many families like to give a formal name and allow the child to choose along the way. I like this idea a lot. I know a girl who was born as Melinda. During her childhood everyone called her Millie. When she hit high school, she preferred to be called Melinda and it’s morphed into Mel. It’s a perfect way for her to express herself in a unique way through different stages of her life.
So our Nea may choose to be called Toni, or Annie or even Ellie. Who knows! It will be fun to watch her pick up her name, own it and move with it through her lifetime.
What about you? Have you picked a name for your child yet? Or, how did you choose the perfect name? Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: March 1st-15th, 2012
First Year Over
By Jason Gerringer, Having a Baby Editor
I don’t know at what point you are at in having a baby. Maybe you’re waiting for that baby to grow and be delivered. Maybe the baby is born and you’re in those early stages of figuring everything out. As for me, my wife and I celebrated one year with our daughter!
The feelings of joy are enormous. A mere two days before her birthday she figured out walking to where she’s doing it without any assistance. I try to hold her hand and she drops her hand down as if to say,“ I don’t need your help anymore,” and she takes off walking on her own two feet. We gave her a cupcake for her birthday, and with those first few licks of chocolate icing she discovered that sugar and chocolate are two things she’s going to really enjoy, and so it was hilarious that when she lifted the cupcake to her mouth she didn’t take her hand away from holding it inside her mouth until the whole thing had dissolved and swallowed in her mouth.
Take hold of the baby you have or that you are waiting patiently for. The cliché of phrase, “They grow up so fast,” is so true and I guess that’s why everybody uses it to describe how everything occurs in so little time. So I encourage you to cherish the child who is yours.
As parents living in a crazy, difficult world, it’s easy to get distracted with our jobs and responsibilities aside from the baby, so just remember to put those other concerns aside, put the phone, the laptop, or anything distracting you from the baby, put them down and cuddle up with that little human being of yours, let them know you’re there for them by your undivided presence. But as for their first birthday, if you put together a celebration for it and it involves cake and them eating it, there will be nothing distracting you from that precious moment. Enjoy it while it lasts!
Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: February 15th-29th, 2012
The baby needs new clothes…..again.
By Buffy Lael, Having a Baby Editor
If you’re a new parent you are probably a little overwhelmed with the amount of little person clothes that are currently in your household. I remember being so excited at every little outfit when I opened them at our baby shower. I also remember being shocked at how LOUD baby laundry was in the dryer! Those snaps, hooks, buttons, etc. that are on every item of clothing make for a very loud laundry day. Here are a few tips of sage advice from a Mom who was a little baffled at the clothes situation.
If you have not had your baby shower yet, talk to the person or persons throwing the party for you. On the invitation put a note about clothing size on each one. It’s not saying that they must buy you clothes, but most people cannot resist a cute outfit and buy it alongside the gift they were going to get you in the first place. So if you are sending out 30 invitations, 5 should have 0-3 months, 10 should have 3-6 months, 5 should have 6-9 months, 5 should have 9-12 months, 5 should have 12-18 months. It also helps to put the matching season with the size. All you are doing is keeping things in baby’s dresser a little more even. I found that the 3-6 months time frame, I seemed to be changing clothes more often. Once you introduce food…..the game changes!
Buy ahead. If I could say the one piece of advice from my bestest Mommy friend that was exceptional, it was that one. You have to think ahead at every sale. For instance, most stores are having major sales as they start to move inventory for Spring. Take advantage by buying NEXT year’s winter clothes now. Again, there’s a little bit of a crystal ball involved but for the most part you usually hit the nail on the head. I cannot tell you how grateful I was when my daughter moved out of a size (seemingly overnight) and I went to my clothes storage bin only to find a whole new wardrobe of perfect sizes! You’ll pay a lot more if it’s the middle of winter and you find that she’s grown out of all her long-sleeved shirts. Off to the mall you go, paying non-sale prices out of desperation.
And of course, there’s resale. Consignment and resale shops have some of the most amazing deals. You’ll find items there that you would never pay full price for, even if it was on sale! Some of the best picture perfect outfits have come from resale shops.
Don’t write it off, check it out! Get yourself organized, plan and think ahead and you’ll have a stress free time when it’s time to changing sizes. Now shoes…..well, those are my nemesis! Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: February 1st-15th, 2012
The Quirky Things
By Jason Gerringer, Having a Baby Editor
My daughter, who will be a year old soon, learns a number of things that I never thought she’d learn. Or should I say, I forget that there are littler things we learn as human beings, the little quirky things that don’t seem to make the “news of the day” in a household that has a baby. It’s typical, if you’re a father and husband at work, to come home and hear “Guess what you-know-who did today!” You hear that your baby stood up all by his/herself, or that they took a step, or that they said the word “cat”. As much as these things are vital to the development of a child, I find myself enjoying the little things that shape my daughters personality.
For instance, when my daughter wakes up from napping, or sleeping all night, she stands up in the crib, she keeps her pacifier in her mouth until me or her mother walk up to her, we greet her from her slumber, she smiles or laughs every time, and it’s her habit to immediately hand her pacifier to us. We don’t know how she picked up on this quirk. What started out as us asking for her to give her pacifier over, she has learned that when she isn’t in her crib or falling asleep, she doesn’t need her pacifier. What makes it completely adorable is that she does this with so much joy.
Another thing she does that is awesome, is she has learned to put her hands over her head when someone jokingly says “Oh No!” We believe she picked this up when her grandmother had done the same thing one time, but in a serious way, so that when she saw it done again, she mimicked the action of putting her hands to her face or the top of her head with a somber look on her face. I’m not sure if she knows that we say it many times to joke around and to watch her do something adorable.
The latest event that is quite comical is when we get her attention and we make eye contact, she stares and watches us blink our eyes. When you make an exaggerated blink, she does it too, and she smiles with great joy in this interaction.
What does your baby do that seems unique? As much as you should celebrate the milestones of the their first words, their first steps and their first hair cut, don’t ever forget or find yourself ignorant of the little things.
It’s the little things, the quirky and interesting things about your baby that you’ll begin to see their personality blossoming. Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: January 15th-31st, 2012
They grow…and grow…and grow…
By Buffy Lael, Having a Baby Editor
Everyone will tell you when you have a baby the phrase, “they grow so fast.” And even though we know it, we just don’t want it to be true. In the span of one year, I watched my sweet cherub faced baby grow into a spunky, crazy-haired, opinionated toddler. They say birth is a miracle (and it is!) but truly the rate of growth of humans that first year is nothing to dismiss!
There are great ideas out there of how to mark that first year. And in all honesty, you could take a picture of your baby every day and notice some sort of change. Not only are their facial features changing, but those physical skills are developing by leaps and bounds. Holding their own head up, to up on elbows, to rolling over, to sitting up, to…okay you get the idea. My point is, trust me, you’ll forget as time goes by. Why is that? It’s not because you don’t think it’s important because you absolutely and positively do! But the reason is because as parents, we are forced to live in the moment. We can’t afford to live in the past and yes we dream of the future, but at this very moment there’s a little creature that depends on us and we must rise to the occasion. Living in the moment is the fine print on the “Welcome to Parenthood” card. For some, that can be a very difficult adjustment!
If you haven’t discovered Pinterest on the internet…you should. You will find scads and scads of pictures of how parents marked baby’s first year. I’ve seen soft block letters laid on a bed that read “I am 1 month”, “I am 2 months”, etc. with baby placed right underneath. I’ve seen parents sit baby in the same chair once a month for 12 months with a notecard that marked the months. For our daughter we bought a dragon stuffed animal (the animated dragon movie was popular at the time she was born) and lay her next to it every month on the same day, snapping a photo. We called the photo album “Baby and the Big Green Dragon.” It’s great to see the changes and remember along the way. We think she’ll love it to, watching herself grow from a tiny, helpless infant into a 1 year old trying to ride the dragon!
Take a moment and think about how you want to remember this very precious year! Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: January 1st-15th, 2012
Incomparable
By Jason Gerringer, Having a Baby Editor
My daughter is ten months old now. I love her at this age and I love her personality. She’s very mellow, she rarely cries, only when she’s hungry or not feeling well because of teething and all those other things that bother a baby. Other than that she is fun to be around. She is well-mannered and always smiling and giving into her curiosities of what’s going on around her.
Something I’ve noticed lately is that when we are around other babies, it’s very easy to fall into the temptation of comparing our baby to other babies. Just like we compare ourselves to other people, we compare our own children to other people’s children. And to me, that’s really sad.
I think we forget that just as every person is unique, ever baby is unique. Sure they all poop in diapers, drink from mommy or from a bottle, they all go through the same milestones for the most part, but I believe every baby brings their own personality into it. Some cry more than others, some laugh at random stuff more than other babies, and some are as quiet as can be.
The thing that has been on my heart lately is that I need to appreciate the baby that I have, the daughter that’s mine, and that I need to not think of other people’s babies and think how much better I think my baby is than theirs. I think that’s disrespectful even if I keep those thoughts to myself. I think it would be even more disrespectful to blatantly tell someone negative things about their baby.
It’s sad when we do this thing of comparing our baby to someone else’s baby and when we think things like “my baby is cuter” or “that baby is too temperamental” and so on. The problem of thinking like this is that we diminish other people in our own eyes and we puff ourselves up and it is very arrogant.
I think for this upcoming year, as my daughter develops more and as we come across other babies, I want to cherish who she is as a little baby. I want to cherish her without measuring her up to any other baby. Sometimes I feel utterly blessed with the way our baby acts. She really doesn’t make life too difficult. And if I compare her to other babies, it’s easy to assume that other babies make life difficult for their parents and I begin to think maybe something is wrong with that baby or perhaps something is wrong in the way their parents are raising them. And I think that this is simply not true. I think babies have their own personalities, and that a parent can do all the right things and their baby may still cry a lot or not cry at all. I think we have to treasure our babies no matter what. Each one is special and each one is deserving of unconditional love.
It can be so demoralizing to compare ourselves to others, let’s not do the same with our babies. Your baby is incomparable. And that is how it should always be. Appreciate them; love them. Let’s not concern ourselves with what other people are doing with their baby and how their baby measures up to yours.
Your baby is unique, so let it be. Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest!
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Having a Baby Editor's Welcome: December 15th-31st, 2011
Christmas with Baby
By Buffy Lael, Having a Baby Editor
Ahhhh, the holidays! They can be an amazing time for your little one, you and your whole family! Here are a few holiday tips that I found helpful during this time!
1) If your little one is not here yet, considering sending that fun “Happy Holidays” card with baby’s first picture right in the center! That’s right folks, that sonogram picture! We sent one to family and friends when my surrogate was 5 months along with the most recent sono picture. The caption read, “See you next year!” Our families thought it was funny.
2) Speaking of photos, get to your local consignment shop and buy the cutest dang holiday outfit you can find. Your little Mr. or Miss is not going to let you fluff them up in the future so have a little fun when they are small! Personally I think paying department store pricing ($50-$100) is silliness when the consignment shops probably have something very similar at a reasonable rate. Snap those photos and have fun!
3) To Santa or Not to Santa-that is the question. If your tot is 0-6 months, that baby is not going to care if Grandma holds, a stranger holds or the jolly ‘ol elf holds. (Try to avoid the mall though if your baby is less than 1 month. Find a family friend who “knows” where Santa hides his suit!) So find yourself a Santa who feels comfy holding your baby and get that first Santa picture! If your baby is 6-11 months, make sure baby is in a fabulous mood. Tummy full, naptime done, clothes not too scratchy. She may be a bit hesitant at first (esp. around that 11 month age), but Santa’s clothes, his helpers and the cool scenery will help distract. Now if your tot is 12-24 months….it’s a crap shoot. Even under the best conditions, Santa could be one of the most frightening things ever. If your little one can’t do it….that’s okay, next year should work better. Let Santa down easy though.
4) Family get-togethers are amazing for everyone, including baby. Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles and all those crazy cousins! Keep an eye on your little one during family events and watch for signs of overstimulation. It happens faster than you think, especially in our babies under 6 months. It’s okay to take your babe to a quiet place (another room, a car ride, whatever) to get soothed and special Mommy or Daddy time. Mom & Dad can tag-team if needed!
5) If this is the first baby on both sides, expect gifts. Correction, expect thousands of gifts. Most parents begin the “exchange plan” during this time. Parents start purging baby items/toys not needed to make way for new stuff coming in. You can also hang on to a few items and dish them out for special occasions such as birthdays. Doesn’t seem right, I know, but this skill of purging, restocking and inventory management will serve you well for years to come!
6) The Christmas Tree. Okay, we’re back to ages again. 0-6 months old infants probably aren’t going to bother that pretty thing in the corner by the window all too much. However, that 7-11 month old is going to do whatever he can to get there, pull it over and get that shiny ornament that you cherish. Save yourself the grief and buy a small table-top tree with ornaments that don’t hold sentimental value for you. It looks just a festive, and Santa will put presents under any tree. Just ask Charlie Brown.
Happy Holidays to Everyone! Don't forget about our Having a Baby Writing Contest
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