|
|
 |
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: May 15th-30th, 2012
Treasures
By Susan Saunders, Grandparent Editor
Sometime in my mid-fifties I noticed a change in how I looked at life. I found living in, and enjoying the present, much better than trying to relive the past - and better than looking to the future for hopes of better times. We can't bring back the past and the older you get, the more you realize how fragile life is, and that the future is something we can't count on. But today - the present - that is what life is about. Too many of us don't take the time to just bathe in the moment - to inhale the loveliness of NOW.
As a grandmother there have been many of these moments in time - moments I "recorded" in my mind - they are now like treasures that I can go back to and "hold" and look at, and remember when that event took place. Each time I hold a new grandbaby I take one of these mental pictures, I breathe in the smell of their head, I touch their soft cheeks and vow to remember how precious that moment was. The first time they say, "Oma." The first time they run to greet me with open arms and a smile that says, "I love you soooo much!" The first time they read a book to me. The times they fall asleep in my arms. The funny things they say and do. The times we walk together and they hold my hand. Pushing them on a swing and hearing them squeal with delight. The times they told me they loved me. The little kisses and the big hugs. Being the one who could calm them and get them to stop crying. Being at their birthday parties and sharing as many holidays as possible with them. Yes, there are so many moments that I hold dear - they are my treasures.
As a mother I get very emotional when special moments occur. Seeing a son or daughter accomplish something often brings me to tears. Recently I have seen my sons Davis and Evan's names in the credits of major movies. I sit on the edge of my seat in the movie theatre just waiting for that moment - that split second in time - when their names go by on the big screen. Then I clap and cheer and cry - I treasure those moments - I hold tight to those feelings of love and pride. When I see my older sons, with their children I feel love and pride also - for they are such good fathers. Each wedding brings many things to remember and treasure and of course, tears of happiness for my children. Cherished memories also include those of watching my girls grow up into lovely young women. My oldest daughter graduated from college (with honors) on Mother's Day - as I watched her walk across that stage and accept her diploma - I held onto that moment for as long as possible, squeezing every bit of memory making data out of it that I could. I couldn't have had a better Mother's Day gift. My youngest daughter brings me moments of joy and pride whenever she makes the Dean's list or bakes me a loaf of bread from scratch - watching her enjoying herself in the kitchen makes for another treasured day in my life. All of my children have been involved in theatre and I have held onto the memories of when they were on stage like some would hold onto precious jewels.
The definition of treasure includes: anything valued, or highly prized, to retain carefully or keep in store - as in the mind, to regard as precious - to cherish. Yes, my life has been blessed with wonderful moments in time and I cherish all of them - I store them in my mind and in my heart - they are my treasures. And I treasure all of my children, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren - I can't imagine my life without them - for they have helped to shape my life and what is important. A dandelion - picked and handed to me with love from a grandchild means more than a bouquet of expensive roses, a hug or loving text from one of my children means more than an expensive gift, a word of praise from my husband brings a smile to my face and warms me through and through. Maybe I'm just easy to please, maybe I don't need a lot of "things" because I feel I already have more than money could buy, more than I ever thought I would have - I have thousands of treasured moments, hundreds of cherished memories and each day brings the possibility of adding more. I am a very "wealthy" woman!
What do you hold dear? Has growing older changed your perspective on how you view life? What are some treasured moments you have had with your grandchildren? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
 |
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: May 1st-15th, 2012
Perfectly (Dis) Orderly Plans
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparent Editor
As I was thinking today about plans for Mother’s Day, I thought about what it means to celebrate Mother’s Day as a grandma rather than as mother.
I began thinking about how my grandparenting style differs from my parenting style of old. The two are about as different as night and day. Though I’m not sure when and how the new approach began, I definitely like my new style better than the old. I can’t even pinpoint when the change began. I only know that I’m not worried how my grandchildren will ‘turn out’. I’m content to love and enjoy them.
The difference that approach makes in relationships is profound. When I’m with them, I don’t worry how they look, or if their hair is combed neatly. I don’t consider what anyone else might think of them – or whether or not their behavior will reflect a good image of my success as a grandparent. There’s no “I” wrapped up in the relationship at all. I have no need for them to behave in a certain way.
The opposite is true, too. I don’t think about whether or not my behavior or looks are embarrassing them, or if I’m measuring up to the other grandparents I see. I don’t worry about how every little thing might impact their future ability to get a good education and job, to find a wonderful spouse (Yes – I DID think of those things!!!), or to relate well and be successful.
What that leaves is freedom – to see them as they are and to appreciate and celebrate that. I have the luxury of age – of knowing the fleeting and irrelevant nature of most things I worried about as a parent. I know the futility of worry, and the comfort of knowing that most things work out. When I was a young parent, I embraced the phrase “Save it for the Biggies”. But in those early years of parenting, everything seemed big.
So now, as a grandparent, I can relax with the knowledge that almost nothing is worth getting too excited over. I used to be a planner, and rarely left things to chance. I still like to plan, but these days my plans are circled with very stretchy elastic. The goal of the plans is to allow gatherings to happen, rather than to have them turn out in a certain way.
It makes life and relationships so much more fun. Instead of worrying about how I’m going to get things done or how they’ll turn out, I look forward to the most important thing: that I’ll get to spend time with the people I love. And the best part: seeing friendship and acceptance blossom where personalities have room to grow, and knowing that benefit spills over to my children as well.
Wishing all mothers and grandmothers an elastic Mother’s Day – a day for you to enjoy...
What are your favorite Mother’s Day memories? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: April 17th-30th, 2012
Mom's Home Cooking
By Susan Saunders, Grandparent Editor
For those of you who are regular readers of the Grandparent's editor pieces, you may remember my February story titled, "A Gift of Love." I wrote about saying goodbye to my mother and fearing that it might be the last time we saw each other. I am sad to say that it was the last time - my mother passed away on March 30th at the age of 80. Because my emotions are still very much at the surface, I don't want to dwell on the sadness of her death, but would, instead, like to focus on happier memories - memories of when she could still do the things she loved to do the most - like sewing, gardening, cooking and baking. She loved to bake and share what she made with others. So today I would like to share with all of you a few of her recipes and hope that by doing so, a small part of my Mom will live on in homes all around the country and whenever someone enjoys a squash bun or a piece of poppyseed cake she will be smiling up in heaven.
These delicious buns are favorites of my Mom's children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Grandma June's Squash Buns
3/4 cup whole milk
1/4 cup warm water (105 - 115 degrees)
6 oz. (1/2 of a 12 oz. package) of frozen squash
1/2 cup sugar
2 packages active dry yeast
1/2 cup butter
4 1/2 cups unsifted all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
Heat milk with frozen squash until squash is thawed and mixture is hot. Stir in sugar, salt and butter; cool to lukewarm. Measure warm water into large warm bowl. Sprinkle in yeast; stir until dissolved. Stir in lukewarm milk/squash mixture and 2 cups of the flour. Beat 2 minutes at medium speed of heavy duty mixer (or by hand). Add remaining flour to make a soft dough; mix well. Cover, let rise in warm place, free from draft or until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes. Punch dough down, divide in half. On floured board, roll out each half of dough to 1/2 inch thickness. Cut into rounds with 2 1/2 inch biscuit cutter ( or if desired, just pinch pieces of dough off and form into bun shapes). Place on greased baking sheets. Repeat with remaining dough. Knead any leftover pieces together very lightly, then reroll and cut until all dough is used. Cover. Let rise in warm place until doubled - about 45 minutes. Bake at 375 degrees about 15 minutes or until lightly browned and done. Makes 2 1/2 dozen.
Poppyseed Cake
1/2 cup poppyseeds - soaked in 1 cup whole milk overnight
1 1/2 cups sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup butter (1 stick) 1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups cake flour 4 egg whites (save
yolks for frosting)
Stir flour and baking powder together. Cream butter and sugar. Add vanilla and poppyseed mixture, then add the flour and baking powder mixture. Beat egg whites until stiff and then fold into the cake mixture. Pour into greased 9 x 13 cake pan. Bake at 350 oven for 35 minutes or until cake tests done. Cool.
Frosting:
4 egg yolks 3/4 cup sugar 1 1/2
cups whole milk
2 Tablespoons cornstarch 1 teaspoon vanilla
Cook all ingredients until thickened. You may add chopped walnuts or
pecans if desired.
Frost cake and if not serving immediately, refrigerate.
Wild Rice Clam Chowder
(Mom loved making dishes from wild rice - and it was easy to find in Minnesota)
6 medium red potatoes - peeled and cubed
5 (10 1/2 oz) cans chicken broth or equal to 7 cups
2 (6 1/2 oz.) cans minced clams - drained - but do save the liquid!
Juice of 1/4 of a lemon
1 1/2 medium onion, diced 3/8 cup flour
6 oz. fresh mushrooms, sliced 1/2 teaspoon salt
4 1/2 Tablespoons butter 1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 bay leaves 1 1/2 cup
heavy (whipping) cream
2 1/2 cups of COOKED wild rice
Put potatoes, broth, clam liquid and lemon juice in 6 quart pot. Bring to a boil and boil at medium heat for 20 minutes. In frying pan - saute onions and mushrooms in butter - add flour to onion mixture and stir until smooth - add onion mixture to pot. Add bay leaves, salt and pepper. Cook 10 minutes. Add clams, cream and rice. Heat through.
These recipes are just a few of my Mom's favorites - hope you will try some of them and enjoy them as much as we did. Having family gatheredaround her table - talking, laughing and eating what she had prepared made my mother very happy. We miss those days, and we miss her.
If your parents are still alive - give them a call, stop by to visit, and, of course - let them know how much you love them.
What are some special memories you have of your mother's or
grandmother's cooking? Do you make any of their recipes? Have you handed down some of them to your children or grandchildren? What are your tips for spring cleaning? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: April 1st-15th, 2012
Spring Cleaning Memories
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparent Editor
I fear that my mind will get old and begin to forget what once was precious. Without reminders that I can touch – those things that bonded me to my children, husband, friends, and connected me to myself so many years ago – will I lose important pieces of my life?
I’m attempting to clean out my house – to give away or throw out those things that no longer ‘fit’. Cards, thank-you letters, papers, crayon-drawn pictures, old VCR tapes, committee reports, lists of names, and even old clothes seem to hold so many of my memories. I know the memories are inside me, and still, the draw to ‘hold on’ is very strong. As if in having those reminders close by, I’ll never really need to say goodbye to anything or anyone. I fear that without “things”, I’ll forget something important for my life today.
So I struggle to toss papers that have long ago yellowed, greeting cards and old letters that smell musty with mildew from a damp basement, dresses whose fashion will never again return, and far too many children’s toys and games that will never be used in the midst of the abundance of modern playthings.
I’ve saved old writings and pieces of paper holding advice, fortunes, and bits of wisdom and inspiration.
I have countless pictures that will never find their way to the acid free pages waiting for them in the memory books – and videos I’ll likely never watch. I have audio tapes and programs from musical and theatrical performances and recitals. Shelves of books I’ll never have time to read, ‘how-to’ books I’ll never open, and craft projects I’ll never finish or even start. Patterns, material, art supplies --- All waiting for “SOMEDAY” to arrive...! I won’t even mention the fitness bands and weights! I couldn’t possibly live long enough to carry out the “plans” I’ve made. And what of those very cool kitchen gadgets that can make apples into swans and radishes into mice – Don’t I need those, just in case?
I’ve told myself that I’m saving these things for my children to enjoy someday – for them to have ties to their childhood. I’ve believed that I’ll enjoy going through the items and reminiscing in my old age – that I’ll use them to spark stories to tell the grandchildren and as a way to pass countless hours in their presence. I’ll make their pancakes into heart shapes and see their eyes light up when I press their toast with the cool ‘Good Morning’ stamp!
The truth is that my life is full to overflowing, and there is no room for the past in the present. Those ‘things’ represent life that has already been lived, complete with its incompleteness, its hopes and joys, disappointments, dreams fulfilled, and its longings for more. My reluctance to let go of these things is really a lack of trusting that it was all ‘good enough’. The proof is in the way we are living today. The fact that I want more is in itself evidence that it was all enough.
Today’s dreams and memories are sufficient. There’s no need to catch up with the dreams of the past. They’ll come around again if they’re important. And maybe in the meantime, someone else can use those ‘things’ to create something wonderful in the here and now. The present is memory enough.
What are your tips for spring cleaning? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: March 16th-31st, 2012
Providing a Safety Net
By Susan Saunders, Grandparent Editor
When a circus performer does a high wire act without a net below to catch him if he should fall, the crowd is on edge during the entire performance. It requires a lot more patience and skill to do the acts so high above the ground knowing that if you should fail, and fall, you would probably be terribly injured, or die. While we might think the performer who would chose to do this is a bit crazy, we also have a lot of admiration for him and for his ability to complete his act without a fall.
In life we don't often think of having safety nets - but they are there - only in human form.
When you had financial problems or had a medical emergency or felt depressed and lonely you most likely called on someone in your family to help you out. Who are the loved ones you would have called? Parents and grandparents were probably at the top of your list. When I was a single parent raising two boys - money was always short and I was too proud to ask my parents for help. But during my visits home I would raid my Mom's pantry and linen closet and take just a couple cans of food and a couple rolls of toilet paper. She always had so much, I didn't think she would notice. When I was doing better financially I gave her a huge box of toilet paper as a gag gift for Christmas and told her it was to pay her back for what I had taken. She told me that she did know about it, but figured if I needed it that badly, she wasn't going to say anything. That meant a lot to me, she never made me feel bad about it. Her and my dad were my "safety
nets" - I knew they were always there to watch my boys if I needed them and we were always welcome in their home.
Today I know many family members and friends who provide "safety nets" for their children and grandchildren. Here are just a few examples: My brother and his wife have been available to help out with all five of their grandchildren. The youngest was born with many health problems and now has pretty much 24/7 nursing care. But on Wednesday mornings my sister-in-law drives to her oldest daughter's home, over an hour away, to help out during the time the nurse is not there. They also take care of the other three children in that family whenever there is a need - if the baby needs an operation, etc. They frequently babysit their other daughter's little girl and provide a haven of love and comfort for all family members. If a call comes that they are needed - they go. Whatever else may be going on in their lives just gets put on hold - family comes first.
My husband's sister and brother-in-law adopted their twin grandchildren six years ago when the twins were three. The parents were having drug addiction problems and could not care for the kids. It was either let them be adopted by their foster parents, or take them into their home. They were their grandchildren, and that was all that mattered - not how difficult it would be to raise them at their age, or how it would affect them financially - love was what won out. Later, Jim died from cancer - leaving Jean alone to raise the kids. It hasn't always been easy, but those children have blessed her life in many ways and give her a reason to live.
When my sister's oldest daughter became pregnant while in college, it wasn't something either of them were really ready for. But my sister and her husband opened up their home - not only to their daughter, but also to her boyfriend. They wanted him to be a part of the baby's life and to help out with her care and to be able to bond with her. Without this "safety net" - a place to call home, and feel accepted no matter what has happened - and time to learn to be a father and a mother - I'm not sure if the ending would have been the same. Today my niece and her husband have three beautiful children, are very family orientated and have often provided "safety nets" of their own to family and friends.
Many people grew up with a grandparent living in their home - my husband's grandmother lived with them and she was his "safety net"- she gave him unconditional love that he didn't always get from his parents. My best friend babysits for her two grandchildren almost every day and often provides dinner for her daughter and son-in-law when they get home from work. Many people I know are opening their homes to their children and grandchildren because their kids are out of work, or can't afford a home of their own.
Most of us grandparents are more than happy to provide help when needed. Whether it is babysitting or providing a ride, a place to stay, a meal, etc. Or flying across the country to help out with a new baby. We have lived through lots of good and bad times and if we were lucky - we also had parents and grandparents who helped us out - who were our "safety nets." Without family, many of us would fall - some would not be able to ever recover - some would, but with serious "injuries" to our lives. Remember to thank the ones who have been there for you, someday you may have to provide the safety net for someone you love.
Did you have a Grandparent who helped you through a difficult time?
Who has provided a "safety net" for you? Tell us about it. And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: March 1st-15th, 2012
“Weaving a Sandwich Story”
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparent Editor
Greetings to all! Welcome back to regular readers, and a warm new welcome to those who are just discovering the wealth of sharing on the pages of “Stage of Life”! Your ideas and comments are most welcome anytime.
You’ll find stories that are as varied as the experiences of life, as well as a place to share your own stories. The more I read, the more I recognize my own feelings echoed in the pages written by others who are walking a similar path in life. No matter how old and wise we become, it’s nice to know that we’re not alone. Circumstances and experiences in our lives are woven into the fabric of the stories of others, too. It reassures me to know that the elements in my own stories are often universal.
These pages are written with that very thought in mind – that as we travel through the stages of life, we can find counsel, insight, encouragement, and strength through the sharing of our stories. I’d like to encourage you to comment on an article or story that touches you, and become part of the fabric of Stage of Life.
My daughter used to ask us to tell her a ‘sandwich story’ – happy on the outsides, with just a little bit of scary or unhappy on the inside. So we’d spin tales that had just the right amount of fright or misery in the middle, with the assurance that there would be a happy ending. If only life were like that – and came with a guaranteed happy finish!
As a grandmother to four little ones, ages 1-9, I frequently have the opportunity to be part of real-life stories in the making. Like watching little ones full of excitement at the prospect of having a cousin come to stay for a week – and then realizing that the little cousin loves to play with favorite toys that sometimes end up broken. Or a wiggly tooth that finally came out, and is being put under the pillow with great hope. Or the alternating confusion and compassion on tiny faces as little ones visit great grandma who’s enduring the progression of memory loss. Or the unpredictable maneuvering of the pretty blue balloon that came from the Boy Scout ceremony. Or the newness that comes about with Daddy’s new job, or the arrival of a new baby. Or the meal that’s put on the table with not even ONE likable food.
Stories can be made from almost any ordinary part of life. The wonderful thing about storytelling is that, unlike real life, we get to choose the ending. Even when the real-life story has an unhappy ending, it’s useful and hopeful to help little ones to see that in the story of life, it’s possible to learn how to find the silver lining. Sometimes that’s the piece of bread that encases the story in the happy ending we all seek.
Have fun weaving a story or two with your grandchildren this month. Try using real life as a starter, and see where your ‘sandwich story’ ends. Hope you find lots of ways to enjoy the richness of your everyday life this month!
Do you think it’s possible to change the outcome of stories in your life? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: February 15th-29th, 2012
A Gift of Love
By Susan Saunders, Grandparent Editor
When you are given a gift it often isn't exactly something you would buy for yourself. Maybe it doesn't match anything you already own, or it isn't your style, or it doesn't fit, etc. Then there are the gifts you get that just make you almost scream with joy and surprise because they are things you wanted so badly, but never thought you could afford. Or maybe someone made you a gift, or gave you a family heirloom and those gifts made you cry because of the thoughtfulness of the gift - those are the kind of gifts that usually mean the most. All these are gifts that you can hold, display in your home, or wear, etc.
But what about the gifts that we get throughout our lives that aren't wrapped in fancy paper, or purchased in a store or handmade, etc? As I get older I find that what I value most is time - especially time spent with family and friends. I just returned from a two week visit with my family in Minnesota. It was an unplanned visit and not for any happy occasion. My 80 year old mother had become deathly ill and had to be hospitalized. I decided it would be best to fly home and spend some time with her. The first week I spent mainly in her hospital room. She slept a lot and I sat and watched her a lot. I would think back to when I was young and just believed my Mom would go on and on and on. We often don't appreciate everything our parents do for us when we are kids - after all, they are supposed to do those things, right? But watching your aging mother lying in a bed, crying out in pain and worrying that she will die - jolts you into a reality you don't really want to be in. The reality that no one lives forever, that she will eventually pass away, that you will then be without a father or mother in your life.
At age 60 it isn't that I don't already know all this (having lost my father seven years ago), but I tend to concentrate on the positive side of things and always pray she will recover. And so far, she has always recovered - she has an amazing fortitude. And she did make it through this crisis also. But not as well, not as determined, not as strong. She seems defeated and ready to give up. The last few days I spent with her I saw a steady decline. She sometimes tried to tell me things she thought I should know and I tried to ask her about her life. But the conversations were few and far between. She would get tired and fall asleep or her hearing was so bad we couldn't carry on
much of a conversation.
Time had no mercy - it kept on ticking away and soon I had to return to my home. As I hugged my mother good-bye I couldn't help but think it could be the last time I saw her alive. What she said to me wasn't what I really wanted to hear from her - I wanted hearts and flowers and words of how much she loved me, etc. but that really isn't my mother's way and instead she held my hand, smiled, and said, "see you next time you come."
As I left her room with tears in my eyes I realized that she was doing what she had done for all my life - she was trying to be strong, so I wouldn't see how afraid she was. She was trying to protect me and give me hope. Those were her gifts to me. Whatever happens, I will never forget that as I walked away it must have been as hard for her to not cry as it was for me. Neither of us were willing to admit it could be our last goodbye. And because of her gift of hope, I will try to believe it won't be.
What gifts of love have you received recently? Do you find yourself wanting time to just stand still while you appreciate a moment with your grandchildren, or your children, or your elderly parents? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: February 1st-15th, 2012
Snowflake Hearts
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparent Editor
Hello Again ~
I love how each month of the year has its own special feeling, and I’m excited to enter this month of February – with its leap year ‘bonus’ day! I’m glad that we have a special holiday or celebration each month of the year. Each one brings some of that variety that adds spice to life!
I’ve always enjoyed holidays that are lots of fun with a minimum amount of decorating or expense. And Valentine’s Day is just one of those holidays for me. I love the creativity involved in making and giving sentiments of love, and the thought that goes into thinking about and honoring each person who has a special place in our hearts. The fact that those sentiments often involve a little heart-healthy chocolate is just a pleasant plus! Simple, tasty, and pretty – What could be better for a Valentine?
I’d like to share a simple idea for spending some time with your grandchildren this year – or just for using your own creative talents. For this project, you’ll need only some paper – red, white, pink, purple, or whatever colors you like – plus a scissors, glue stick, and your imagination. You’ll turn these items into messages of love by making snowflake hearts.
Here’s how to make a Snowflake Heart: Fold one piece of paper in half and cut a ‘half-heart’ shape in whatever size suits you. Then cut the half-heart into delicate shapes, as you would to create a snowflake. Be creative! When your special snowflake heart is finished, it’s ready to hang. Or paste it carefully onto a piece of paper that has a contrasting color, to showcase your masterpiece! Snowflake hearts can be made in any size, and would make a nice front for a greeting card, too. Of course, a little glitter would make it shine and sparkle and add even more fun! Whatever you create will be an expression of yourself, which will make your Valentines a gift from your heart.
The hearts of our precious family members and friends (and we!) are as delicate as these pretty Valentines, and in need of regular affirmation and care each day of the year, and this one day that’s set apart to celebrate love is a fun way to remind us to take the time to show that we care. I wish you a month of knowing that you are loved, and that you matter, no matter what!
Happy February and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Who do you most often forget to tell that you love them? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: January 15th-31st, 2012
Heart Strings
By Susan Saunders, Grandparent Editor
January is winding down, the temperatures are dropping and it seems like everything is just so gray and depressing. Growing up in Minnesota I was used to a very white winter - lots of snow and ice -
but the kind of snow that you could play in...often the sun would shine on the snow and it would appear to sparkle.
When we moved to Pennsylvania almost 30 years ago the first few winters were difficult for me to get through. It did snow, but the snow was wet and heavy and just made everything muddy and you really couldn't let your kids be out in it long. February was always the worst month. Cold, dreary, wet and gray and depressing. I hated it. If we did get a snow storm I would be in the best mood - while everyone else moaned and groaned about the snow - I would be grinning from ear to ear - I loved it! Of course, I didn't like to drive in it, but as long as I could be home, with a fire going in the wood stove and something baking in the oven, I was content.
Once we were snowed in for an entire week. The kids didn't have school, and my husband couldn't get to work for a few days- it was one of my favorite weeks ever! All of us cozy and warm with plenty to eat and drink - just being together watching movies and playing games, etc. I loved it! My heart was so full I felt it could burst. But towards the end of that week we all did start getting cabin fever and wishing we could go somewhere!
Now I have learned to accept the grayness of February, it still is a bit depressing, but I guess as you age you learn that being sad, or feeling down is just a part of life. You can't feel happy and full of
joy all the time. It also is a time for reflection and for doing things just a little slower. I tend to read more books and watch less television. I want to reach out and talk to my family more. I bake
more and buy cookbooks that I really don't need. I hug my husband more and wish he could stay home with me. My heart feels very open to love and to being loved. When my grandchildren come over I appreciate all their bounciness and love of life even more than usual. I treasure their hugs and kisses and laugh at all the cute things they say and do - my heart opens up and I just let all that love in. Yes, February is a time to really enjoy any joyful occasion.
So when Valentine's Day comes along on February 14th, right in the middle of a very dreary month, I wonder if the person who decided on when it should be celebrated knew that it would provide a little ray of sunshine just when it was needed the most. Probably not, but it does. Children make and pick out cards for their friends and family.
Couples exchange cards, give gifts of candy or flowers and often go out for dinner. Some homes are now decorated with red and pink lights and hearts are everywhere! Words of love are spoken and the cards we receive are read over and over. Cards made by our grandchildren get placed where we can see them for weeks. Words expressing love and appreciation that come from our adult children warm our hearts and are just so special.. And a loving kiss and a box of chocolates from our spouse makes us blush like a new bride. It is a truly sweet (pardon the pun) holiday.
Coming at a time when we need more love in our lives - when our hearts need a jump start because we are often feeling down, when the grayness of life seems about to envelop us entirely - a day comes to celebrate love and to open our hearts and feel all the joy in the world and all the life around us. But you don't really need Valentine's Day for this - love can cheer you up any time. When someone or some experience tugs at your heart strings, put out the welcome mat - let love in. Soon the grayness won't matter and you will feel like everyday is a sunny one.
Heartfelt greetings to all our Stage of Life contributors and readers
- we do appreciate and enjoy all your contributions!
What times of the year are hardest for you? Is it a certain season, or an anniversary of a death? What do you do to cheer yourself, or others up? How do your grandchildren light up your life? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: January 1st-15th, 2012
Revised Vision
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparenting Editor
Hello Everyone,
It is a most awesome delight to greet you - the grandparents who are a part of the ‘Stage of Life’ family - at this exciting time! A new year is always ripe with endless possibilities. Today, perhaps as many of you are doing, I’m pondering where I’ve been, where I am in this moment in time, and the hopes I have for where I’m going. I’d like to share with you a bit of my take on that.
When I was younger, I had visions of my future – life beyond kids at home – as a time of carefree living with my husband. I believed that I’d easily be able to merge that carefree life with the joyful comings and goings of my children and their future spouses, and their children – my future grandchildren.
What I didn’t factor in was the love and investment I’d feel for those who would become part of my family, AND also the love and care I feel for those who my children call ‘in-laws’. For some reason, I didn’t think of the personal involvement and emotional investment that comes with the territory as daughters- and sons-in-law and grandchildren are added to the nest! My heart has learned that the ‘empty nest’ I thought was a ‘given’, doesn’t exist!
Being a grandparent means that my family has grown, and that my heart-strings are being stretched. Luckily, heart-strings come with lots of ‘give’! One of the frightening things about being in this stage is to know that for each person, life comes with both joys AND heartaches. The reality, then, is that along with the happiness that accompanies the addition of each ‘new’ family member, comes an equal amount of care and sorrow. Growing in kindness and understanding through the inevitable ups and downs of life’s journey with each special person in my life, and staying true to my own life’s journey, is a challenge worthy of any New Year’s resolution!
Finding peace and meaning in the goodness to be found in all of life’s journey, sums up for me what it means to embrace life. Being better able to see and grow from the lessons in ALL of life’s experiences – even, and especially, when those differ from my original vision and hope - is a goal I have for this coming year.
My wish for each of you in 2012 is for your hearts to be enfolded in a sense of gratitude for all of the year being left behind, and for the ‘whatever will be’ in the year ahead.
A most Happy New Year to you!
What ‘visions of sugarplums’ have you revised as you’ve grown in wisdom? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents? |
|
|
Read Past Editor Letters |