|
|
 |
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: May 1st-31st, 2013
Traveling Grandma
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
In today's world the chances that your children will all end up living close to you are pretty slim.
I now have two sons and a daughter in California, a son in Ohio, and a son and daughter here in Pennsylvania. Of my seven grandchildren only two live close to us, so I do quite a bit of traveling. Being a Grandma on the go is fun, but sometimes difficult. Many times I have to travel without my husband (as he is still working) and I hate leaving him alone. He can survive, but I worry about him and miss him and wish he could be sharing the visits with me. Just getting ready to travel can be tiring... doing the laundry and shopping and packing and making sure the house is in order and that my hubby has enough food, etc. I never sleep well the night before a trip, so the time on the plane is usually nap time.
All my children make me feel welcome in their homes and are wonderful hosts, but as many of you know, the older you get, the harder it is to sleep somewhere other than your own bed. So, many times I don't sleep very well while visiting. And then there are those frequent nighttime bathroom trips that many of us older folks deal with. I always worry about waking up someone, especially the little ones.
Not being a picky eater, nor on any medically prescribed diet, food is not an issue when I travel, but I know for many seniors, it can be. My Mom was on a gluten free diet so whenever she visited I tried to make sure I planned meals with that in mind. Sometimes I will buy groceries and make a meal or two while visiting. It always seems to be appreciated, and if I did have special dietary needs I would ask them to take me shopping so I would have things to eat and not put that burden on them.
I am so lucky to have 3 wonderful daughters-in-law and 1 great son-in-law. They all are very accepting of me, so there are few issues or clashes with them when I visit. Not everyone is that lucky and sometimes extended visits can be trying for everyone. If possible give them some time alone; maybe offer to babysit so they can go out, or find a place where you can go walking or take the kids to a park, etc. Even if WE think we are the perfect Mom or mother-in-law, they might not think so; we all have our faults and can be annoying at times. Another good thing to keep in mind is that times have changed, your kids may not parent like you did, and while staying with them it will be a much more pleasant visit if you respect their rules and their way of doing things. Trust me, I know it can be hard; I always want to dress the babies in warmer clothes or put them on their stomachs instead of their backs, etc. Try to hold back on negative comments... advice is ok if given the correct way, and if asked, do share your wisdom, and also praise your children (and their spouses) for being good parents as often as possible. If you want to be invited back and want to be a part of your grandchildren's lives, don't be a nag or pick fights over minor issues.
Yes, traveling has its disadvantages, but the minute you arrive and hold those grandbabies in your arms and the older ones run to hug you, it is all worth it! A week or two of being able to visit with your kids, do some sightseeing, see your granddaughter's dance recital, go along to the library, or the park or the zoo, see them play, read to them, go along for that first check up after birth, eat a delicious meal or vegetarian dish your daughter/daughter-in-law made, see your son/son-in-law change diapers and help with the housework, spend hours just holding a new baby so mom and dad can sleep, or hear your grandchild say, "I love you Oma!" All this and more make every visit a treasured time in my life. I hope someday my grand kids will remember the times Oma came to spend time with them as special times in their lives too.
I'm getting ready now for a trip. I can't wait to see everyone! Just call me "the traveling Oma!"
Do you travel frequently to visit children and grandchildren? What are some difficulties you have faced? What pointers do you have to make visits enjoyable for everyone?
|
|
 |
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: April 1st-30th, 2013
Spring!
by Patricia Crider, Grandparenting Editor
Spring has arrived and has chased away the chills of winter! The seasons start fresh and the outdoors become more active as people exit their homes, no longer needing the warmth it provided. Spring is the time that my grandparents would break out the tractors and plows from the barn to break the previously frozen earth for planting seeds. As children we ran behind Pap driving the tractor, plastic butter containers in our hands, gathering fat worms as bait for evening fishing trips. We weren’t the only ones following the tractor; birds would swoop in and snatch-up those juicy morsels, wiggling around helplessly in the churned dirt. It wouldn’t take long and my grandparent’s farm would be surrounded by fields of corn about a foot tall. By the end of summer those same stalks were giants that could only be taken down by my grandfather on his tractor.
|
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: February 1st - 28th, 2013
Time for Love
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
It's almost Valentine's Day.....a day to remember the ones we love. I'm sure we all have memories of making, or choosing,valentines for our classmates when we were in grade school. Hours were spent cutting and pasting and sprinkling glitter as we attempted to make the most beautiful cards in the class. We all had a box we decorated with a slot at the top so our classmates could put the Valentines they made into our boxes. If the cards were purchased, and not hand made, we read all the verses and had to pick out just the right one for each person. My dad bought my mother a heart shaped box of chocolates every year and after all the candy was gone that box was highly coveted.....I used one for my paper dolls. But it was a pretty low key holiday.....and not a lot of money had to be spent to enjoy the day.
In today's world the Valentine cards and gifts are put out almost the minute Christmas is over. The amount of red, pink and white items available is astounding. It just seems to scream out at you, "buy me! Buy me!" You can decorate your house with Valentine lights, towels, shower curtains, sheets, and flags. You can drink out of cups with hearts on them or use Valentine napkins and tablecloths. I'm not sure how this all relates to sending a message of love, but someone is making lots of money! Personally, I don't need a lot of things.....but I still love getting a card from my hubby.... and the cards from my kids are special.....especially the ones they made when they were little.
Some of my favourite memories are of sitting around the kitchen table with my kids making Valentines - I still have most of those beautiful creations and I know they kept most of the ones I made for them. It took time and thought and some artistic talent to create those cards....and when they were done we all knew they came from the heart. The cards were wonderful, but the best part was the time we spent together and the fun we had cutting, pasting and sprinkling glitter, etc. It truly was a time for love and for togetherness. I hope my kids learned that it didn't take a lot of money to create expressions of love that became treasured keepsakes. Sometimes I would make Valentine cookies and give each of them their own bag full - they didn't have to worry about sharing!
I still love Valentine's Day, I love picking out cards for my husband, my kids and my grandchildren. Sometimes I get motivated and make heart shaped cookies or decorate a cake. I know we don't really need a special day to say, "I love you!" but it is nice to get that card, or that box of candy, and know that on one day of the year love is celebrated and it really is nice to feel special and know that card your sweetheart gave you was something chosen just for you and that the verse inside might be something they would have trouble saying out loud.
No, I don't need socks with hearts on them, or a T-shirt with some strange Valentine message, or even an expensive dinner out.....I am happy with a quiet dinner at home, some wine, and my love beside me holding my hand and giving me a card or a box of candy. It is a time for love, for showing others how much you love them,and a time for accepting their expressions of love for you, and for keeping all those special moments in your heart. Enjoy the day of love.....spend time with your spouse, with your children, or with your grandchildren. Maybe you can make Valentines with your grandkids - get out the scissors, crayons, construction paper and of course, the glitter and make something from the heart. You will not only create cards, you will create memories.
What is your favourite childhood memory of Valentine's Day? Do you still do something special on the 14th?
Have you a favourite craft you enjoy doing with your grandchildren?
|
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: January 1st - 31st, 2013
Reflections
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
Most of us look forward to a new year. We make resolutions and promise ourselves that we will eat healthier, exercise more, spend more time with our family, get our finances in order, etc. It is good to set goals and try to achieve them. But as we age, sometimes we try to "bite off more than we can chew," and then we end up feeling that we have failed and just give up on everything. Sometimes our children are pushing us to do things - to fix up our home or travel or take a class, etc. They see our life through more youthful eyes, and don't understand that some days we feel we have accomplished something by just getting out of bed and doing our daily tasks! Since my birthday is mid-December I start out every new year a new age. I am now 62 and while I am not really old, I certainly feel that extra year! 2012 was a year that took a lot out of me, emotionally and physically. It made me look at myself and my life - where I had been and where I was headed. Some of that reflecting was difficult and some made me even more resolved to enjoy the life I have and to look forward to the times to come.
In March of last year I was able to fly out to California to help out my son and daughter-in-law after the birth of their first baby. That was a joyful time and every moment I got to be with her was special. It was also an emotional time because while I was there I got word that my mother was on her deathbed in Minnesota. I just returned home to Pennsylvania when I got word that Mom had passed. My husband and I drove to Minnesota for the funeral - it was a long trip and I had a long time to reflect on my mother's life and death and how it would change my life. Since my dad had died years earlier - I now had neither mother or father. No matter how old you are, no one , or no book, can prepare you for that. Since her death, I have often caught myself wishing I could talk to her, or ask her something. Tears come at some memory that just pops out of no where, etc. Even if she was almost 81 and very ill when she died - I have been very selfish - wishing she could have lived longer. Some expect you to just jump back into life full throttle, but grief takes a long time to work through and some of us need more time than others. As I reflected on my mother's life, I vowed to not repeat her mistakes, but also gave thanks for the many good things she passed on to me.
Our fifth child graduated from college in May. She has been Type 1 diabetic since she was three and seeing her go up to get her diploma was one of those moments that make you cry and make you so proud. The day we dropped her off to start college I cried all the way home (4 hours). She had never really been away from us for very long and certainly not that far away, I worried that something would happen to her and that she wouldn't take care of herself. But she did it - she survived four years without our constant supervision. I will always worry about her, but I have more confidence in her ability to take care of herself. Having to reflect on your role as a parent is not always easy - it is hard to let go and let them be on their own, or trust their decisions. That is something I have been dealing with a lot the last few months. In August my youngest daughter (child number 6) told me she was pregnant - not something you really want to hear from your "baby" who is still in college and has so much to look forward to. But....doing what parents all over the world do...we planned a wedding. In October she was married to her high school sweetheart, a Marine, now stationed in California. It was a small, but beautiful wedding. She finished her first semester and has since left college and is living with us until she can move out to be with her husband. All this has produced a tug of war of emotions that only those who have gone through can understand. We wanted so much for her and we had anger that all that was taken away....but on the other hand we know she and her husband are very in love and were going to get married one day anyway. We had to concentrate on the joy of having another grandchild and doing whatever we could to help our daughter. Yes, all these life changes cause you to reflect on yourself and what you could have done differently as a parent. In the end you have to stop tormenting yourself and accept the situation and move on. It really comes down to unconditional love....we love her, her husband and the baby.....and for us, that is enough.
Reflecting on my past and my future - I have done a lot of that this past year. What I have found is that I am getting more comfortable in my own skin. I accept myself for what I am, not for what I think others expect me to be. I love being a mother, wife and grandmother. I still grieve for my mom and miss her, but I allow myself to be sad...that's okay. I still feel upset sometimes that my daughter didn't get to finish college, but then I see her taking such good care of herself and making sure the baby will be as healthy as possible and I believe her when she tells me she will finish school some time in the future and see that while her path has taken a different direction than we planned, she will be okay. Reflecting on last year I have learned that life can give you a lot of surprises - some good and some not so good. How you react and deal with those surprises can make a huge difference in your happiness. If you react with anger or resentment and let that lead your life, you, and those close to you, will have a very unhappy existence. Spend time reflecting on the good in your life.....appreciate your family, love those grandbabies (I have two on the way), take time to be with your spouse, get out and do things while you still feel up to it, become a better person spiritually - get closer to God, and just relax more, let yourself enjoy the quiet times and don't feel you have to always be "doing." As we age our New Year's resolutions shouldn't be so much about forcing ourselves to exercise or getting our homes in shape to sell, etc. but should instead concentrate on our years of acquired wisdom and how we can use that to help others. Resolutions should include taking time to appreciate life and all the moments it gives us, for at our age, every moment is precious. We should strive to become more forgiving and accepting, letting go of resentments and anger you have toward others will give you a whole new lease on life. If you have hurt someone - ask for forgiveness, if they have hurt you - forgive them. Life is too short to hold on to anger. Do some reflecting, really look into your life and see where you need improvement. Because even if you are in top physical shape and your home is perfect.... after you are gone it will be the way you treated those around you and how you gave love and how you tried to be there for others that will be remembered.
Have you done any reflecting lately? What are you looking forward to in the New Year? Do you think that as you have aged you have become a better person?
|
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: November 1st - 30th, 2012
Take Care of Yourself
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
One of the things my doctor tells me almost every time I go for a check up is, "Remember, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself." It is good advice, but sometimes hard to follow. We often get so busy doing things for our kids and grandchildren, our spouses and our parents that we neglect our health. If we also have a job, that just adds to the stress - so that often, we are left just feeling drained and have little energy by the time we get home.
When I had my first child my grandmother was the age I am now. I never asked her to babysit, after all... she was too OLD! But now that our children are getting married later and having their children later, grandparents are older when those babies come along. So, at 61, I do feel tired after a day of watching my grandchildren and I will be even older as the newer grandchildren arrive. That's one reason it is so important for me to try and stay healthy - I want to see all six of my kids get married and I want to see many more grandchildren!
One health issue I have struggled with for many years, is high blood pressure. I take medication, but it still will be high at times. My doctor and I have tried many things to see if it would improve, but so far nothing has worked too well. I don't sleep well and wake up a lot during the night, and I have a snoring problem. So my doc suggested I go in for a sleep study to see if I need to be on a CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine. I was a little hesitant, and to be honest, kind of afraid. But when my youngest daughter got married a few weeks ago, I found out that my second oldest son was using a CPAP. He told me that it had changed his life and he had more energy, slept better and everyone in his family slept better because his snoring didn't disturb them. He told me to not be worried about the testing and to go ahead and do it.
So I did go for my sleep study. I had to be there at 8:45 p.m. At the hospital they put little sensors all over your head and some on your chest and legs and a clip on your finger. Then they monitor you while you sleep. You take your own pjs and pillow (if you want) and can watch some TV or read, etc. until you feel ready to go to sleep, and everyone is very nice - so you feel pretty comfortable. Yes, all the wires are a little strange, but I did fall asleep eventually. I woke up about 5 a.m. and they removed all the wires and then I got dressed and then went home. The stuff they use to secure the wires on your head is kind of like plaster of Paris, so when you get home you will have to wash that out of your hair. Otherwise, it was no trouble and I didn't feel stressed out at all.
A few days later they called me and said I would need the CPAP and set up an appointment so I could come in again and spend the night - but this time with the machine on, so they could observe me using it. Since talking to my son, I found out that others in my family use the CPAP machines and that they also were pleased with the results.
Tomorrow is my appointment. I am a little nervous about using the machine, but I am also anxious to see if I too, can lengthen the time I sleep and can have more energy during the day and most importantly - can lower my blood pressure. Yes, it is important for me to do this for my family... but it is even more important for me to do it for myself.
If you have a hard time getting to sleep or wake yourself, and others, up with your snoring - ask your doctor about trying a sleep study to see if you might need to be on a CPAP. It is good therapy for sleep apnea - where you have a hard time staying awake during the day - for some heart problems, some breathing problems and high blood pressure. Getting a good night's rest is one of the best things for your health. That, and drinking enough fluids to stay hydrated. Very few of us drink enough water.....another quote from my doctor, "most elderly people don't die from an illness... they die from dehydration."
As winter approaches we need to be even more vigilant about our health. Try to avoid places where cold and flu germs could be rampant. If your grandchildren are sick, stay away from them until they are better. Wipe the grocery cart with the wipes the stores provide. Keep some moist air in your home so the heat doesn't make you too dry. Eat healthy and take your vitamins. Don't exercise too much outside if it is very cold and of course, if it is icy walk carefully to avoid falls and broken bones.
We aren't done with life at our age, we can still live for many more years and enjoy a lot more time with our precious grandchildren. But we can be a lot more fragile than we were when we were younger, so take good care of yourselves! I will let you know if the CPAP helps me with my problems and would appreciate any input from others who use them... or tell us what things you do to stay healthy and if any special foods or supplements have made a difference in your energy, health, etc.
|
|
|
 |
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: October 1st-15th, 2012
Winds of Change
by Jane Thiegs, Grandparenting Editor
Hello Kind Readers –
Autumn’s chill has snuck into summer once again, leaving us a clear sign that change is coming.
Ordinarily for me, October is a time for leveling – when I’ve begun to adjust to the changing that comes with a new school year. This fall, though, is different.
I’ve been following my heart, and have landed in what seems to me an amusing turn of events. I thought I’d be planning to retire at this stage of my life, preparing for travel and relaxation. Every now and then, LIFE surprises me with a plan I could never have concocted on my own! When signs point in a particular direction, though, I tend to trust that I should follow, and invariably, as a door opens, I find myself on a threshold of something new, exciting, and frightening – and pretty much unexpected.
So it is that as I near 60, I’ve entered a partnership with my husband to build a new business (a vineyard and winery in MN), AND I’m once again beginning a course of academic study that will pave the way for me to begin a new career in two years, that career being a bio-energy healing practitioner.
I’m unbelievably excited about these choices, and emotionally drained from the energy required of me to learn of, own, and work toward healing my own issues, so I can better assist others toward their own healing. I’m also physically spent from the labor required of one who works in a vineyard. Still, it feels so right, that I can’t imagine not doing one or the other. Both paths have taken on minds of their own.
And so it is that this writing will be my last monthly Stage of Life Editor’s welcome to you. I need to focus my attention on these new pursuits. I am so grateful for having had the opportunity to share my thoughts in this forum over the past couple of years. What a wonderful emerging network is Stage of Life! I feel honored that you’ve read the thoughts I’ve written here. Thank you!
I will continue to read the posts, and will perhaps contribute on occasion. I want to continue to benefit from the collective wisdom expressed on Stage of Life pages and blogs. My role as a Grandma and Mom will continue to be paramount in my life. In fact, six days ago, my son and his wife welcomed a new little girl to their family – my 5th grandchild. It’s a highly prized privilege to know and love those I hold dear. Some things never change, and I don’t want them to.
That said, I think it’s appropriate for newness in challenge and experience to grace our days throughout our waking lives. Growth continues, as I am constantly reminded by my grandchildren. We Grandparents are never too old to pursue a new path that might take us closer to being who we really are. This is a gift of age and wisdom: the freedom to choose to stretch toward that which seems beyond reach. To do that, I’ve needed to make changes. One of these changes is in balancing my time.
My “balance challenge” in this decision to claim my own life lies in honoring that I have as much of a responsibility toward my own self as I do to others. For too long, perhaps, I’ve lived more for other people’s lives, and less for my own life - and I admit that my unconscious purpose in doing that has sometimes been to meet my own needs, more than it has been about meeting theirs. So, I’m trying to be more mindful of that balance in this segment of my life, and to meet my needs in a healthy way by choosing to stay on, and continue moving forward on, my own path. It’s tough, sometimes feels unnatural --- and it’s exhilarating and wonderful!
I wish each of you contentment, and the ability to adjust with grace (or to forgive yourself for messing up!) as you continue on your journeys through the ‘grandparenting’ stage of your lives. May you be blessed.
In what areas of your life do you feel a tug to create greater balance? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: September 15th - 30th, 2012
Important Decisions
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
As political debates become heated and everyone seems to be arguing over the craziest things, many of us who have lived 50 years or more sit back and just shake our heads. We have some important decisions to make and as Senior citizens we know that who we vote for and how their policies will affect the coming generations is not something to take lightly. Because now we are thinking of what kind of world our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will inherit from us.
We don't want them: living in a country with trillions of dollars of debt to worry about, we don't want them worrying about being attacked by terrorists, we don't want them to have to fight wars in countries that aren't really appreciative, we don't want them taxed to death, we don't want our country's vast supplies of coal, oil or gas denied them because of too many regulations and we don't want them spending outrageous amounts of money for food, clothing, electricity, rent, etc. We do want them: to be able to own a home, drive the car of their choice, attend college without spending a fortune or depending on the government for the money, to have freedom of speech and freedom of religion and the freedom to belong to whatever political party they want to without fear of being attacked or maligned, and to live without fear. Yes, we look at our innocent grandchildren and just want a perfect world for them - a world without hate or violence, a world where they feel loved and protected and are able to achieve whatever they put their minds to.
Unfortunately, we know that every generation has had to live through some tough times and some good times. Our generation grew up in the somewhat idyllic 50's but then when we were older, Vietnam took many of our young men and many of us grew angry and we protested and made sure the government heard our discontent. Many parents and grandparents of that era shed tears as they attended the funerals of their sons and grandsons who fought in that war. They probably prayed for a more peaceful world for their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And except for a few outbreaks around the world, their prayers were answered. Americans didn't go to war for a long period of time. I have four sons ages 27 to 39 and none of them had to fight in a war or worry about being drafted. That is a real blessing. All my children have been able to go to college, even though it has required using government loans. That is also a blessing. Yes, many of the prayers and hopes of my parents for their grandchildren have been fulfilled. But the "times they are a changing."
With so much unrest throughout the world, it seems a more dangerous place and the chances that we will have a peaceful world look pretty bleak. Our government seems full of politicians who are more concerned about keeping their jobs than they are about doing the will of the people who voted them in. Unemployment rises, home ownership declines, gas prices rise and people seem to be more and more depressed and without hope. It does seem useless to even pray for a better world for our grandchildren. But without prayers, without hope, without the fire within us that fights for better times – our grandkids won't have a better world. We need all those things and need to show them that we care, and that we haven't given up and that we will fight against all odds to make this world better - for us, for our kids and for them and the generation after them.
So, no matter what your political affiliation, no matter how old you are or how much trouble it may be to get to the polls - vote in November! Do it for those grandchildren you love more than life - they need you to vote, and to vote wisely - this is one way you will truly influence their future and their lives as citizens of our country.
Have you registered to vote? Are you involved in local or national politics? Do you worry about the world your grandchildren will be living in as adults? Get involved, read up on all the candidates and make your own decisions about who is best - don't let the media influence you or all the hype and scare tactics. Be one of most informed grandma or grandpa you can be - someday your grandchildren will thank you.
|
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: September 1st - 15th, 2012
An Expectant Month
by Jane Thiegs, Grandparenting Editor
Hello and Happy September! It really is an expectant month for me in many ways. For some reason, our family has a lot of September birthdays, and this month I’m excited to welcome a new grandchild, too!
I don’t think I know of anyone who doesn’t like this month that is still summer and already Fall. I’m amused at the ‘mix and match’ of seasons during this month, with some days sunny, warm, and carefree – while others are chilly and/or task-oriented. Definitely transition time! Some transitions are sudden and uncomfortable, but this one is almost always pleasant, whether you choose to call it late summer or early Fall – It’s just right, which helps a lot when transition is also happening on the inside.
The ‘back to school’ feeling has never left me at this time of year, even though my youngest child left high school 10 years ago. I think I’ll always love the sense of order this beautiful month brings to my life, as taking stock of life and making plans become the order of the days. I’ll admit that I love remembering the sense of emancipation I felt as the kids went back to school! AND I have lots of good memories of seeing them come home from the bus stop at the end of each school day, ready for the after-school events…
I think I just like picking up on the energy that is high all around in September - from excitement, anticipation, fear, anxiety, and all that comes with most new beginnings - can always use an extra energy boost, especially these days, when energy wanes quickly.
No matter how hectic it was, remembering all of those feelings and emotions triggers a sense of expectation, of belief in the future, and hope of good things to come. Life is different now for us, with occasional grandchild visits in place of the day to day hectic pace that was a part of our lives when our children were young and at home.
It’s a challenge sometimes to find a different focus that has just as much meaning. And this is also a great time to try out some of the long-buried urges of the heart. I’m beginning coursework this fall, to learn the art of healing touch. It’s exciting and a little frightening as I begin concentrating again on memorizing and test-taking. It’s the high-tech process that tempted me with worry – Until I remembered I’m too old to worry about any of that! I know it’ll be OK. What a great new form of emancipation!
Life as a Grandma isn’t what it used to be. It looks different now for each of us. And yet the important parts of sharing a young child’s life will always be something to treasure. I received this type of treasured gift today when my daughter-in-law told me something our grandson said about us. When she’d asked her little pre-schooler what had been the best part of last weekend’s parade, he excitedly told her “Grandma and Grandpa”! We were just there to share the fun.
Hopes sit on fertile ground in September. As you enter this month full of anticipation, my wish for you is to be able to hear the messages of your heart that are triggered from the memories of your wise self.
Have a great transition to fall!
How would you like to use September’s energy? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: August 16th - 31st, 2012
Life is sometimes like a Game
by Susan Saunders, Grandparenting Editor
Recently I was playing "Chutes and Ladders" with my seven year old granddaughter. I hadn't played the game for many, many years and just remembered it as a simple game that even little kids can understand.
As we played I was able to take the lead and thought my reaching the end first was a sure thing. But each time I reached the top row of squares I hit the one with a chute that took me down about 10 spaces. I just couldn't seem to get past that square and it was frustrating! Then my granddaughter landed on the square that had a ladder right to the end - to the winning square - and she won, just like that! I was happy she did win, because like any other grandma, I really didn't want to beat her, but at the same time.......deep down inside....I am very competitive and well, it just didn't seem fair that she got to the end so easily!
Later, I thought about how this game could apply to real life. So often we are doing well, everything is going great in our life and then...BAM!....something happens that sends us down a "chute" and we
have to get up and begin all over again, or at least start from where we were before the bad event occurred. The ladders are not as easy to find and most of us have to work hard to do well in school, graduate, get the job we want, achieve some degree of success and then try to save money so we can get married, have kids, buy a house, or a car, or other luxuries and necessities. Sometimes it seems we are so close to a goal, but just can't get past that "square" with the chute on it.
Right now we are looking for a ladder to take us to a "square" that will allow us to retire....but it seems with all the chutes we have gone down lately, that ladder may be harder to get to than we thought. Hitting the chutes didn't seem too bad when we were in our 20's, 30's, 40's and even 50's.....but now that we are in our 60's each fall down a chute, each life changing event, is harder to recover from. Our bones may creak and crack a little as we pick ourselves up, but we are still trying - we haven't given up yet! Oh, if only we could hit that glorious "square" with the ladder that would take us right to the top - right to the winning spot - right to the place where we wouldn't
have any money concerns or health issues or family problems, etc. But since life isn't really a board game, we know that shortcut ladder doesn't really exist. However, we can enjoy the other ladders that let us climb to "squares" where we will find some peace in our hectic lives, where we can enjoy a vacation or time with our family, where we can hold a new grandchild or sit and watch a movie with our spouse, where we can enjoy a beautiful sunset or read a book outside while soaking in the sun. Maybe one ladder will take us up to a wonderful square where we get to play with our grandchildren and while there we might find time to play some board games with them and realize how great life is - in spite of the "chutes!"
I think I really did win that game of "Chutes and Ladders" - for not only did I take away a correlation between the game and real life - I also got to see my granddaughter's beautiful smile when she landed on the square with the winning ladder.....her joy made me happy! And isn't that one thing that makes life good - Seeing those you love hit the ladder squares? Seeing them climb to the top and win?
I think so.
Have you gone down a major "chute" lately? How did you recover?
What "ladders" have brought you a good surprise that changed your
life? Play a game with your grandchild soon - even if you don't learn
a life lesson - do it just because it is a fun way to interact with
them! And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
|
|
Grandparenting Editor's Welcome: August 1st-15th, 2012
Olympics, Summer Vacation, and Memories in the Making
By Jane Thiegs, Grandparent Editor
I’m not sure just why we’re so irresistibly drawn to watching the feats of athletes we don’t even know. Sports are televised every day and several members of our family wouldn’t spend minimal, if any, time watching them. Olympic games are different, with their promise and hope of magical and historic moments. They draw us to the screen, young and old together, gathering around to hear the athletes’ stories and to witness their moments of pride.
We remember where we were and who we were with when we last watched the Olympics – recalling it as we do special family events or national tragedies. “Four years ago”, we say, “we all watched the Olympics together at …” And we remember details. On most of my busy days, details zip in and out of my mind with lightning speed. So why do the games stay in our minds?
For one thing, during the last Olympics, three generations of our family were gathered at a home on Lake Michigan for a week of vacation fun. Then there’s the element of patriotism that springs up in hearts, as we find ourselves tearing up while the red, white, and blue is raised high over the athletes’ heads. And, too, I find that I’m drawn to reminders of my youth, and times of dreams and physical abilities long gone. “I used to do that sport”, or “I used to hope to do that someday…” become familiar thoughts. It seems we also love the chance to be critics and judges, hoping to zero in on the scores, and upset when what we think we saw doesn’t match the numbers that will determine the fate of the athletes. Of course, learning about the history of the area lucky enough to be hosting the Olympics is a draw for some, too. And in a way, we get to ‘travel’ vicariously to the places from which the athletes hail. Human drama is another irresistible draw.
I love how the Olympics draws families and nations together. It’s meaningful, glamorous, and it’s just fun! Wherever you are as you watch the coming together of the world’s best athletes, I wish you wonderful moments of knowing goodness in the world. At a time in the world where painful news is seemingly in surround sound, watching the Olympics feels like landing in an oasis of goodness – a great place for generations to gather!
What sport would you be most likely to medal in, if you devoted your life to it? And don't forget to check out our writing contest for grandparents. |
|
|
Read Past Editor Letters |