Posted: Saturday, December 01, 2012 1:22:59 PM
XYZ Conference Hall,Newyork:
~~~Hall echoes with the frequency of applauds~~~
"Guess the title!", the first novel by Sneha Nagendran, is a hurricane of book, whirling almost around all the streets of India and beyond, capturing souls within its twists, carrying them high in the air, rattling their very bones until their secrets and shameful pasts, their moments of kindness and generosity, pour onto the ground below and define the people of a borough, a city, a country and a world without judgment or prejudice, but with the compassion and humanity that only a great writer can provide....And to be more specific,only an Indian who had subsisted everything through her veins .....
The award is the world's largest literary prize for a single work on combination of facts and fiction published in English. It involves libraries from all corners of the globe, and is open to books written in any language. The Award is administered by ***** Libraries and to the expectation of every soul here..... The award goes to Miss.Sneha Nagendran who penned the international best seller "Guess the title"....
The moment i heard my name to be spelled in front of thousands and lac's of people,it was never an ordinary experience to hold my breath to face each one among the crowd from the stage with a smile and orate few words thanking my readers. Mike in one hand,And with my award on my other,for my first baby, I felt myself respected for the talent i have been gifted with.....Hundreds of calls from my dear ones ,I still managed to get along with the crowd flooded at the occasion requesting for my autographs and for a click with me!
Finishing my supper with soups i felt nothing can compete with my India's most delighted pongals and idly's.And now it was already 8 pm,I admitted myself to leave the hall since i had to get my next flight to Chennai the next morning. Getting my car doors opened i pushed myself to take my seat and the second i locked it,it was like a film in theater with digital effects was muted abruptly. I cud hear nothing....feel nothing...sense nothing.... but i could visualize people, the flash of cams and my readers waving me a good bye!
Reacting to the actions of people among the crowd which almost drowned my car, my driver somehow managed to get the way along the track of the concert hall.Resting myself on the berth of the car and windows closed, I startled to stare at the streets of Newyork which reminded me about it-something special-sweet-surplus-peculiar-extra ordinary and of course Memorable! I grabbed my mobile from my pocket and unlocked it . My fingers started scrolling the screen faster in search of those messages and when i initiated to read it , my mind began intellecting "why should things change with time??!! When maths and physics have numerous constant factors why don't life has any such factors other than change?? No longer i was able to resist my tears from my eyes, rolling down the cheeks ,wetting the display of my iPhone!
"Excuse me mam!",pronounced a voice! "oh yeah!" It was my driver.Trying to wipe my tears, I replied him,"Thanks buddy! Do pick me tomorrow at 4 AM to airport.Don't forget!" Bidding him a bye, I entered into the seven star hotel and got my keys cleared! I never wanted to use the invention of science - "The Elevator" from the small age and so i preferred climbing up stairs with the help of servant for carrying tons of gifts from my readers! Unlocking the door, I felt the cool breeze making strands of my hair floating. Thanking the servant, i locked my room and was in a chaos! How could i stay alone in this vast room?? It was so spacious that i wasn't able to view the other end of the live place. Ending up with a conclusion to have my Shower, I stepped into the bathroom and was little excited about it! Never in my life , I had seen a bathroom designed for VIP's and now am going to use it! Ha ha...!! It was not bad at all...And the interior works of it was stunning! Dressing up myself in a night suit as a sign of successful bath, I came out to the balcony, the other end of my room, after few seconds of walk.
Trying to view my gifts placed on the bed, it showed up like a gift Corner-perfect! And with a cup of milk in my left hand, I was lost in thoughts of past once again. when the entire world was celebrating my victory with first novel, I was pushed to a situation to make a fake smile with them! When the ownership of the novel goes with me, I must have been the most happiest soul in the world at that minute of arc! But i didn't! Why was i so dumb...? Had i had break up with any one? Never! My Fb status never changed from single to committed! Happened to have a crush during my college days but it wasn't immense! Well, My crush was also a reason for retaining myself single because i never found any one better than him, or at least like him! What would be the cause for my loafing then?? Fights with my family members? Not at all! They are much happier than me at this moment! No exams tensions...No family burdens...No punishments for incomplete assignments.... I was a perfect spinster with a handful salary provided by TCS!! and the fame through my novel was more than enough for me to live as one of the top twenty personalities in Bangalore!
My mobile was ringing aside, I didn't want to say an hello! I was frustrated a lot, that i couldn't find myself what was wrong with me ! the clock ticked 10 and I heard a screaming noise outside! "hilarious!" , I don't believe in ghosts but i promise you, nothing will make you feel better when u hear such a scary noise at ten! Preparing for a war with the owner of voice , I opened the door in anger and I leaned on the wall, out of surprise!! The scary voice was from the vocal chord of Small kid, between 2 to 3 years of age! He was playing "hide and seek" with his friend . He shouted because his parents wanted him to go to bed!
Hearing my mobile ringing again i ran to the balcony and attended the call.It was again a birdsong,wishing for my novel! Closing my doors, I fell into the hands of my bed, hugging my pillows for a sleep! Few seconds later.....
I heard someone calling me behind... "Hey,Lady!"...."Oh My God!!" My mind yelled inside," U want me to believe in devils and ghosts?? Why do u make me feel such sounds??" , Again i clinched my pillow and covered my entire body with the cover sheet and began my try to sleep..... I sensed again some one was standing beside me and i was in a fear, whether to turn around and search for anyone's presence..... or pretend that am just sleeping! Collecting my thoughts and boldness i switched ON the lamp and turned to confirm my doubts!
Looking at the shadow moving aside, I stepped my foot back and the result- I was hit down to floor by the table placed by! It was the boy who screamed and brought the hell out of me! "Hey! How did u get here?? And y?? when? for what?....." I shot him with my questions! In turn he just made me a single answer... "I need you to play hide and seek with me,C'mon darling! Lets play now!" though my heart wanted to play with him, i was damn tired, i couldn't make his wish happen!" I opened my doors and left him out of his room,knocked the door and was waiting till the doors opened.
A manly person opened the door and i blinked my eyes abruptly. He seemed to be like him. No,He wasn't like him.It was him-My crush! I never spoke a word with him, but showed a sign of bye and walked towards my room.
My things inside the bag were knocked out when i fell down few minutes before! Replacing the skipped things inside my clasp, I found my diary left aside opened. Closing the bag i placed myself on the bed with my diary and my ear was able to feel those laughs. yes!the Laughter of those stupid people who pranked at me- when i got caught in classes for my misbehaving, When i was late to the classes,when i slipped down in staircases, when i didn't have enough money on my birthday party's, when i tried to make a best pic but it turned into a tragedy, making fun about me in group chats, comparing me with a nerdy in bus stops, pushing me to the front on college strikes, who made comments about my walks-looks-smile-studies-character, spreading rumors about my relationship status in campus, Eating my lunch in my absence, Mid night wishes,who called me aloud with my nick names in presence of my crush, facial with cakes on b'days, who made me cry on farewell party, the only reason i never wanted my college life to end .......!!
It has been two years since i had any meetings or get-together with my buddies! Distance and emotions are inversely proportional. The more distance we travel,more time we stay away from our loved ones, more we tend to miss them in our life. And my friends must b tired because they have been running through my mind for every second, they gotta b a thief because they have stolen my heart n I must have been a bad shooter because I kept missing them for long time.
Checking out of my messages again , I dropped few tears on pages of my diary. I wasn't sure whether my tears were for those messages or for seeing my crush with a child. My passion of writing have earned me lot of fame,money,respect and of course happiness- that couldn't withstand with the absence of my Friends! I took my lap and opened my g mail account expecting their mails! Lots of mails pouring into it but my eyes were searching for those mails starting with my friends name!Had any readers with name of my friends had sent me a mail, I peeped into it and smiled how it would have been if the mail was from my friends.
I never realized the value of their presence but emptiness fills my heart and mind, in their absence. whenever they call me,mail me, I just ignored them keeping myself busy with my colleagues and fans.I called them late nights when we were bonded by those college days... But after my farewell , In successive stages of my life , I never remembered to wish them on their birthdays, to hang out with them, I literally stopped adding real happiness to my life by switching off their thoughts. And now those idiotic friends have made me cry worse-hours together.
Composing my thoughts on paper have relaxed me in all the means and so i took out my pen to drop out my thoughts in lines.
To all my Champions,Whom i miss :
Forever- is a long time. May be too long for us! All the hurt,pain,tears remains same within me without you.I know i can never run back to those college days which redefined the meaning of happiness. Nothing could separate us, but now I guess am standing alone...I know Friendship is not a game to play, It is not a word to say, It doesn't start on March and ends on May, It is tomorrow, yesterday, today and everyday . I Miss u lot but never say me u miss me because it hurts even more. U knew the secrets which i never wanted to say and its you all who made my grey skies turn blue. U were my walls, I lean on you and sometimes it was just enough to know that you all were there. You never allowed me to do any stupidity alone. I know your good bye's on our last meeting were not the mark of an end but the sign of missing me. I may be a top personality of the state , still am same old,stupid,silly idiot of you all. I want you badly by my side right now but dazed world has places located too far. I need you to see my tears dropping down , so that you would come behind me running, not to stop it but to slap it! I wonder whether you too will be writing a letter for me as I did now, because Pain of losing you all for these many days weren't your fault but mine. I just want to let you all know- We are all tighter than the fat guy in tights. Hope i will see you all soon!
Though I haven't thought much about my puppy love in past few months, seeing him with his child was genuinely not felicitous one for me. And now knowing that he is some ones property made my mind more weaker. I started asking stupid questions myself " For past years , since you met him, you have been dodging your love in name of crush??? Is it love?? Or its just lust? why did he marry somebody else , not you sneha?" I couldn't answer any of those and remained tacit. My eyes wanted to ease and i pretended to sleep with infinite questions of how, why ,where,when and whats,placing my diary inside the bag.
"Call me when you travel here again!" . My driver gave his contact number and showed me adieu. In turn, i gave him few dollars and chocolates for his family. I loved to see his ecstasy when he felt that his passenger cared him in-spite of her busy schedule. He gave me a hug and whispered "I will miss you child!, Take care" showing him a bye and a word of "I too will miss you uncle" and got busy with the ticket and bag checking procedures.
Sitting idle for more than a day and travelling on air was not my piece of cake but i had to resist it. I tried my best to pass the time with my lap and iPod but it also-ran. Sharing a cup of potable with my readers in economy class was my best time in entire journey and i felt lofty when the air-hostess pleased me for a sign. "Dad and Mom!, I promised you i will make you proud one day- and now i have done it. People in every country knows who am i" i rustled myself.
17th June 2017.Finally, I reached my Incredible INDIA on my birthday.Smell of having my civilized people around me was an adorable thing. Indians were not same as they were in past 2012. They have learnt to make our INDIA a better one, Corruption and pollution free, importance of keeping our environment a clean one. No more caste and sub-caste problems. My INDIA has become eventually "The power house of the World". Walking into the airport of chennai was like walking in a heaven. "Horrific!", I shouted losing my emotions and later realized people staring at me. Soon i called my mom to inform that her child was back to INDIA.
"If i haven't made my friends to feel brushed off, they would have came here to welcome me" said my inner voice. "Idiot! Even you forget us, we will never forget our buddy!" refrained many voices with a slap in face. I felt as if Batman have came at last to save me from a place of loneliness, and this time it wasn't a single one but a troop of batman(s).I couldn't speak a word out of happiness, happiness filled my eyes with tears, my ears became deaf with the shock, I was immovable for getting my cells of life back! I hugged all my friends like a child who got back her mother after years together! Even my parents never thought of incurring me but my friends were waiting a long the whole night to receive me at airport.
I started apologizing them for my ignorance with every person but no body cared me, instead they took out my bag and peeped into it, asking, "Hey! How much money do u have ? Should we go to KFC or road side shops? " I said wherever they wanted lets do it! and in turn my crazy champions began their teasing "U bloody! Don't dare to show your popularity with us. U are the same stupid creature for all here now!"Managing to hear all those words from weirdly fellows we reached our destination-KFC!! When few shared their family photos with me,and few told about their engagements I had nothing to say other than my fans and readers who subscribed me in face-book. "Wow! you have 1,40,291 subscribers??? Awesome! We need a special treat for it, but some other day! Now all our stomach is dumped" said a friend. I nodded with a smile and the other one winked and said,"Hey you all here know what is that?? 140291?? " And to my surprise, everyone was making a wicked smile and seeing me as if i was a werewolf!
"What??I really don't recognize anything... tell me .. what is it!please yaar!" I pleased . "Hey it is your boy's birthday!14-02-91" They were referring to my calf love. I never reacted to it. I wanted to divert the topic, and tried to do it! But as usual, they found something was not right and asked me "C'mon! what's the matter? Why are you sad?" I wanted to cry aloud and tell them that he got married with somebody else and i saw him with a child in my stay place at Newyork still i controlled it initially.But when they started asking me "How was his wife?How many children does he have? What is he doing now? He got settled in NewYork? Did he invite you for coffee?" and many more questions, I busted into tears and hugged one of my friend and said, " I never knew I loved him to this extreme, until I saw him with his child. I haven't felt this kind of pain before and i literally die each second for missing him in his life! " My friends tried to control my weeping but i wasn't able to stop it. My mobile was ringing.It was my dad. Controlling my frequency of voice I replied him, "I will be home after few hours dad! I am with my friends" and i felt a hand resting on my shoulder saying "Also say him that you will be getting to home with your crush!"
"I just wanted you to know how much i mean for you. It was my sister's child!I am a bachelor still! How come i will marry another girl when a sweet one like you is waiting here for me? I came to see you in Newyork but it was your friends who said me to play such a prank with u darlz!" told my crush wrapping me into his arms . No, he was no more my crush.He was,is and will be my love forever. My crazy pals started taking snaps of us and giggled at me for my tears for him. "Hey! we just wanted to show you how it feels when you lose your loved ones! No issues" spelled my friends. "No! It was worth doing it, Else Never in life, I would have known what Friendship and Love is!"I said,hugging my love life!!
What makes some people dearer is not just the happiness that u feel when u meet them but the pain u feel when u miss them!