Posted: Monday, August 13, 2012 11:48:55 PM
After what seemed like my sister and I were all that we had, we even started to look for new music we could secretly share with each other.
Growing up with my sisters was usually easy. I followed the oldest one like my middle sister did, but once that one took a wrong turn, you figure out that you need some sort of guidance afterwards and then you become your own independent person. I didn't realize that...my sister did. We'll call her Jan-puu (My nickname for her.) Jan-puu didn't grow up like every other child, she did but she didn't emotionally. She was born regularly but raised in anguish, not entirely but most of the time and I could see why. She looked up to my oldest sister and then felt finally came out with the fact that she felt betrayed most of the time during thier childhood. I did too, I actually saw what my oldest sister was and then felt that I robbed Jan-puu years of being a good sister and paying attention to her. Jan-puu grew up strong-willed, independent, and seemed fearless. She looked tough and I thought that was super cool. She protected her things and what she believed in, I tried being like that at school, however I can be a huge softie so it didn't work out, if I could I'd go to school with her and say: "Hey, look that's my older sister!" in triumph and pride to know that strong opionated girl was my sister. And I did. My school remembered that quiet girl in thier class and said with proud smile: "Yup, that's my sis!". She inspired me to be more like her, in art, dance, strong beliefs, and purpose. I try as hard as I can, but can never seem to amount to what she can do, or I can but in another way. In dance, she's grace me I'm more hip-hop. in art, I'm alright, but her's are mind-blowing. After we found things we could share together, music, videos, channels on t.v, stories, and thoughts we grew close and held a close bond around the time I was twelve (I know a very late age). She works however so I barely see her or just hear her come through the door from work in the middle of the night after a late shift. Everytime, I listen to this song, I feel like we enter a different world, where we can just laugh...and just forget about everything else plus I remember all that we do and did together. I miss her alot when she goes to work, she's like a second mom but instead of seeing her as a mother figure, I see her for as advice and more for wise decisions to be made. She taught me to be strong-willed but she also taught me to be myself and to do what I can with what I have. My opportunities are limitless and so are my choices. I shouldn't hold back and take advantage of what I have that she couldn't. Thinking back, I can't help but stop, think, and cry, to know this angered child is my lovely sister that I love very much. This song forever reminds me of our close bond and how we have each other to look after.