Posted: Saturday, August 11, 2012 5:06:53 AM
I find that the song that most influenced my life is by the band REM, entitled “Everybody Hurts”. I related, and still relate, to the song because I suffer from Bipolar depression and it seems in my darkest times – I need to be reminded that I am not alone in my pain. There are others that suffer the same as I do, and I forget that when I am falling into the abyss of depression. That it is not as hopeless as it appears to be, at least to me. That I do not need to give up, or give up hope. It is a song of encouragement for me.
I have suffered so long with this, and engaged in risky behaviors and attempted suicide. I gave up hope. Yet, when I hear this song – my faith in myself is restored. My hope in myself is restored. I’m reminded that everything is not as dark as it seems. That there is indeed a light at the end of the day, at the end of the tunnel. This song, that light – that is what carries me through to the next day. It provides inspiration.
Inspiration to carry on. Inspiration to continue to write, to learn, to cope. Inspiration to continue to heal. Inspiration to continue to help myself, to pick myself up off the floor. To wipe the blood from my arms and carry on. To move forward, through the pain and darkness, towards the light. The lines “…you think you’ve had enough, hold on…” That is the most powerful to me. Those words are the most gut-wrenching for me. The gut check that I don’t always want to do, but I do it anyway. Those words are what keep me from cutting, from falling backwards into the abyss. Those words help keep me upright and my feet on the correct path towards healing.
The song may be a four-minute ballad to most people, but to me it means the world. It has saved me so many times, I can not begin to count. I would truly be lost if this song wasn’t in every music player I owned. It’s part of my daily listening, part of me. I would be lost, so very lost, without it.