Posted: Wednesday, July 4, 2012 5:58:14 AM
It would always be us against the world. June 16, 2012, I thought, would be another monthly anniversary. I was in a meeting awaiting his text message as I had been since the previous evening. He was a wild one, so I had learned to not worry when he took hours to respond to my messages. Therefore, I went on trying to pay attention to the presentation in front of me.
We had met during our freshman year at Texas A&M University. He was not a shy boy, and I was not a shy girl. Just like gravity, we were drawn to each other, with an unstoppable force. His blonde hair, light brown eyes, perfect smile, but most of all his personality astounded me. He radiated kindness, joy, and a beauty so unfamiliar to me. I could never place the pureness and fire of our love into words, and never will.
I was imagining walking down the aisle to his beautiful smile only a couple short years from then, just like we had planned. My name was called, interrupting my day dream. I was led into a room away from my meeting, where I saw my love’s best friend standing. I immediately knew something was wrong. All the man had to say was, “There was an accident..”, and I collapsed.
He had died at 2:47 that morning in a car wreck.(”In my heart she left a hole.”) But, it was still us against the world. (“Through chaos as it swirls, its us against the world. Like a river to a rain drop, I lost a friend.”) I was in agony. I could feel the pain pulsating through my veins every day from the moment my nightmares ended, and the terrifying daylight hours began. It was a continuous cycle of my heart being drug into a pit of depression. (“The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties, the devil as he's talking with those angel's eyes, and I just want to be there when the lightning strikes,and the saints go marching in.”) But I knew he was in heaven above me. I did not want to be of this world anymore. I longed and begged my Lord to call me home. I could not and would not survive without him. (“And tonight I know it all has to begin again
So whatever you do, don't let go.”) But my darling and God had a different plan for me. I was crying and trying to hold myself together when this song came onto my Ipod. It brought me closer to the love I had lost, and I knew the agonizing part of the pain wouldn’t be forever. It isn’t my time to join him yet, but I am never without his love. (“Lift off this blindfold, let me see again.”) We would be together for eternity to love freely as glorious angels. (“And if we could float away, fly up to the surface and just start again.”)