Posted: Thursday, February 16, 2012 5:39:01 AM
If someone had asked me what my definition of love was eight months ago I can promise you that I would’ve given an entirely feminist-centered-all-guys-are-dogs-you-can-only-love yourself type of answer. But this is not eight months ago, this is now.
I am guilty of a disease of what many young women of my generation are guilty of. That disease is being a complete hopeless romantic that was induced by happily ending Disney movies and dry romantic comedies. I mean, the plot lines of movies have to gain inspiration from somewhere! Anyways, to me it seemed impossible that love could not exist when I would see old men opening the doors for their wives or buying them ice cream. Yes, love existed and I had yet to find it.
On my longing quest to find “the one” I would not settle for any guy less than my expectations because I wanted perfection. But perfection does not exist in a lover and anyone that has been lucky enough to attain one for a period of time can attest to that. I soon discovered that perfection should not ever be associated with love when I met him.
He was entirely my type in a way that I did not know that he was my type. He listens. He cares. He supports me with every crazy unrealistic notion I decided to strive for. He protects me. He tells me I’m beautiful. He taught me that the basis of love, the very definition of love is not passion or sex or money. No, it is friendship.
I’m not saying that passion and intimacy is not part of the whole deal. Passion and intimacy help lovers connect on a very deep level. But, friendship helps lovers connect on every level. To describe a best friend, the traits of loyal, caring, honest, supportive, and security might be thrown about. Well, to me those characteristics also describe what everyone should want in a lover. Also, what I am so lucky as to have in mine.
To me, love is about how your best friend (lover) is able to impact you. If you feel entirely safe with them, that’s great! If they inspire you to become a better person with their full support behind you even when you fail, that is right on the money! If you look at them as being a better person than yourself, well that is wonderful! And if you can honestly look at your lover and not be able to imagine what your life would be like without their companionship, well, that is the greatest indicator of all.
In conclusion, if someone is able to look at their lover and realize all of their flaws and all of your flaws, but imagine how great the two of you are together because you have each others full support and can honestly call one another best friends, well that is love.