Posted: Friday, May 27, 2011 1:58:52 AM
I have a problem with passivity. I know what I want in life, I know how to get there, but the rest of the world (read: my family) doesn’t think I’ll ever get there. The issue? “You’re never going to make enough money.” I’ve heard this phrase, in a number of forms and phrases, since I first professed my dream to be a writer at eight-years-old.
My parents have determined reality for me since I was born, of course. Growing up, I quickly recognized their fallibility, but I played along to avoid confrontation. Even when I was going through my pseudo-rebellious stage as a teenager, I quietly accepted their harsh criticisms of my potential future as truth. And this is what I have learned will become of me: I will never get a real job; I will never make a career out of writing; I will never make enough money to support myself; and yes, dare I say, I will be living in a van down by the river.
I guess you could say that this year, I’ve overcome reality. I’ve been completely submerged into delusion, tricking myself into confidently thinking that I will be able to find a comfortable writing or editing job after graduation, and that I will make enough money to support myself. Completely crazily, I’ve convinced myself that I will be happy working for the rest of my life—working at some place I love, doing something I love.