Posted: Friday, February 25, 2011 9:10:10 PM
The fact that people even propose the question of marriage having any value troubles me. It's the same reason I began blogging for The Good Woman Project back in early February. I knew that someone out there had lost hope in the big M word. And that was not okay with me.
My parents have been married 26 years. They met in high school, dated through college, and ended up with two crazy daughters that made them want to pull their hair out. But now they're empty nesters and my impression is that they're loving it.
Go ahead and groan. Let it all out.
Okay, good. So why is marriage such a big deal? And why should you listen to someone whose parents are not just a number to add to the divorce statistics? It's simple: because I'm not married or in a relationship myself.
It's easy to say love is a many splendored thing when you can't see straight because you're blinded by its mystifying powers. But I'm not. I'm telling you right now that marriage is good. It is worth it.
Marriage means being stuck with someone else for the rest of your life. We've sort of lost sight of that being a good thing and gotten to be experts in running in the opposite direction. For a lot of teens and 20somethings, marriage is freaking them out. Big time. Who wants to be stuck with someone until they die?
I want to be stuck with someone who drives me crazy four out of seven days out of the week. Any more than that's a deal breaker. Kidding, of course.
I want someone to listen to me when I'm upset, someone who sits next to me and tells me it's going to be okay when maybe it really, definitely, almost for sure isn't going to be okay. I want someone to lie to me twenty-four seven and make me believe those lies. I want someone to tell me I'm beautiful and changing things in this world and I want to tell someone else the same thing.
Sure, you can have friends like that. But what if you fall in love with said friend? You won't marry him or her because you're freaked out that you might someday resent that person?
Holding back and making giant assumptions never got anyone anywhere. Marriage is the only real leap of faith left in this world. We need to remember that and embrace it before the entire institution goes out of style like a bad fad from the nineties.
Marriage isn't a fad. It's sticking around, so get used to it.