Posted: Wednesday, September 15, 2010 1:25:16 AM
The thing is, I do not exactly have a father.
I suppose I have a biological father and every now and then he even sends me an e-mail. But he is not here. He is not involved. He isn't even funding any part of my education or life. So in my life, he has never really been my father.
Perhaps this explains all my problems with men and my desire to hide from my friend's fathers. Either way, I never knew the love of a father to his children until I met Dale.
Dale is the pastor at my church and every week he stands in front of us and speaks on whatever God has put on his heart. But that is not why he's special to me. He is special because he loves his two young children. And when I sit down to talk to him about my life, I know he loves me too. I always admired when he would talk about his children as though they were the apple of his eye. I would lavish in the way he loved simply spending time with them. Seeing someone else unconditionally love his children warmed my heart and gave me hope for the future.
Once, I sat down with Dale and we talked about my problems in my relationship with another young man at the church. After much talking, Dale admitted, "If I was your father, I would want to beat the crap out of him". Oddly enough, this was one of the kindest things I had ever heard.
Without a father, there is not much feel of protection in my life. One feels so much more vulnerable to the world without a father to protect and love them. And even though I am living in this broken world, I am glad that someone is living the way a family is intended to live. I am glad that someone is looking out for me and going so far out of his way to do so. I am glad that some man, father figure, loves me.