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Be The Change: I will be respected by boys

Joined: 12/20/2012
Posts: 5
Be The Change: I will be respected by boys
I have recently been asked to send a boy I texted as a friend topless pictures. I was flattered, at first, but then I started to feel angry, worthless, and disgusting. I did not send a picture by any means, nor will I ever. I didn’t quite know what to say, or how to say it, but I knew that sending a picture would negatively effect me. Something I always do when I am in these types of situations is say “What would 30 year old me say,” because inevitably I will have to face the mistakes that I make. I thought about how I might be happily married with children, and that we are really struggling paying the bills. I then thought about how I might be offered the job of a lifetime, and that this job would more than pay my bills. Then, I realized that pictures or text messages, or pretty much anything online is permanent, it can never be completely erased. Then I imagined my possible employer finding this picture. Not only did I not get the job, I let my family down; for what, some teenage boy trying to take advantage of my youth.
I should have given this boy a long speech about how I am not a number, that I am to be respected and loved, but most importantly that I care about myself way to much to exploit my body. I instead just said no, and that I was uncomfortable with his proposition. That is when I made a mistake, because now, he thinks that he can help me become comfortable by manipulating me saying, “You should not be uncomfortable with yourself, you are very a very beautiful women.” I realized then and there that women make their own decisions, and that this was more than manipulation, it was highly sophisticated manipulation. I was dealing with a straight up player.
There are two pregnant freshmen in my class, and I personally talked to them. They told me, that they were tricked, and taken advantage of in the same ways that I was. They told me that I was very smart to say no, and that I was right in ever way to want respect. People now are always in love with the first male or female to show them even the slightest amount of attention.
So all you girls or women out there who might be reading this, think about what I have said. You are right in every way to want respect and love, don’t settle for second best. Watch out for those manipulators, they can trick you. What will you say about yourself when you are 30? Demand every quality in a man that you want, and know that someone who wants to be with you will do anything to meet your qualifications, but you have to be patient. My boy was a player, but I quit the game.
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Comment by Kwweesten

Joined: 2/9/2012
Posts: 51
You have an excellent way of looking at this situation. God knows I wouldn't want to face those pictures when I'm 30.
Posted: Monday, January 14, 2013 1:46:21 PM
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Comment by Nate DeRose

Joined: 12/11/2012
Posts: 91
Congratulations! Your essay has been chosen as one of seven Runners-Up for the "Be the Change" December writing contest.

Check out the full writing contest summary here:

We loved reading your essay and look forward to reading your future essays on Please continue to write for our contests!

-Nate DeRose
Writing Intern
Posted: Monday, January 28, 2013 6:37:57 PM
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