Posted: Monday, December 10, 2012 3:30:28 AM
This is the story of Jonathan and he will always be a part of me.
Dead...the words pierce my very heart. I never thought I could feel that much at once and all from one word. I felt hot tears swell up in my eyes. My stomach made knots of grief. I wanted to burst out screaming or crying I wasn't really too sure myself. Why couldn't I stop it!? He knew how important life was. He even went to my church. I always was saying 'hey' to him and being very personable around him. I thought I did everything right. Before I knew it I was on my knees shaking from all the crying that I was doing. All that I knew about him. His playing an instrument and being so mystical in a split second was all gone. I would never see him alive again. I was choking on my tears. The thought of never seeing someone alive again made me cry even more. How could he think that we would be better off without him. Wouldn't he know how much pain he would leave behind? As the thoughts continued to spin my heart was slowly cut with the sting of death. We laughed together we talked to each other he was normal! Why did he have to leave me? Why did he leave his family and everyone!? Why didn't I stop it!? Slowly as the thoughts kept coming the pain of the cut grew deeper and deeper in my heart. My mother stood by my side and we stared at each other which seemed like a lifetime. She slowly told me the story. I stared at her in misbelief. He hung himself. When his brother got home from school he found his brother dead. Now the strongest memory that his younger brother will have to hold with him is that he saw he brother dead. He is gone forever. Forever that is such a strong powerful word. It brought tears to my eyes again. He would never be heard or seen again, alive at least. Jonathan was dead. The words rung in my ears. I had to believe it though my mind tried to make me believe the doubt. He was so close to me and that is why I want to change the reason why kids believe it is a way out. I can never bring him back but maybe through showing others the ways to help I can help others.One way is trying to convince the person to, “Simply accept the moment and stay alive until tomorrow and to stay alive everyday.” Most teens that want to commit suicide never sees past tomorrow. They focus on the negative in life. Suicide thinkers never want to focus on positive because they think their life is a waste. When you remind them to just focus on tomorrow and staying alive it makes them think before they want to commit suicide. Also when you talk to someone look for verbal warnings. 75% of young people who want to commit suicide give off a code. This code can give off warning signs if someone is feeling depressed and if they want to commit suicide. Another way to help is to always stand by their side. Give them your full attention. This means always be listening. Never miss a sign that they might give up. The most important prevention is to make sure you always speak up. Speak up literally means do not stand by someone that wants to give up everything. I made that mistake with Jonathan and I will never forgive myself for it. Life is precious and if you ever see someone looking depressed always tell another friend or if it is bad enough talk to a guidance counselor. Just remember you can make a difference in someone if you speak up and not stay silent. We must make a change of this horrible tragedy in the world today. We cannot let this go on any longer. I will never forget Jonathan, ever. He will always be in my heart and mind. His essence is with me every day. Lives of those who are lost will never be forgotten no matter what may happen in our lives. We can make the change in our lives by bringing this issue to the light. Do not make the same mistake I did. Find the signs and act on them. That person will thank you one day maybe for saving their life. Jonathan you will always be given a voice in me. You are with me always and forever.