Posted: Wednesday, November 28, 2012 11:57:36 PM
I saw the deep purple binding and picked it up, the front was blank and I assumed it once had a cover. I read the spine and in silver letters Wintergirls was spelled. I put it back on the shelf and continue looking for a book. When my search comes up empty, I go back to the little purple book.
“It's not nice when girls die.”
The first six words of the novel confuse and intrigued me. Never have such few syllables had so much strength to pull me in. As I continued reading, the words of Anderson became an addiction. I couldn't stop reading. I HAD to know everything that came next, every thought inside Lia’s brain. Even worse, Anderson was the dealer. She supplied the necessary twists needed to keep me coming back for more.
I counted each and every one of Lia’s ribs, saw her hip bones jutting out like jagged cliffs and could trace the lines of the angry red scars that plagued her body. There was such detail and realism in the text. It didn't seem like fiction. I was taken into the mind and soul of the character. I felt the aches in her stomach as she starved herself, was tempted by the food and felt the razor in my skin when she gave into temptation.
I had a very personal connection to the story because I’ve struggled with very low self esteem and have gone to extremes to try to conform to society’s definition of perfection. I relate with all of the raw emotions that Lia feels in the book. It’s as if Anderson spilled out my mind onto paper.
“Must. Not. Eat. Must. Not. Eat. Must. Not. Eat. Must. Not. Eat. Must. Not. Eat. Must. Not. Eat.” (Continues for two pages)
Chills formed mountains on my arms as I read these pages. I identified the familiar struggle; your stomach wants food but your head shoots it down, then your mind tricks your heart into thinking that this is what you want. You eventually realize that your head and heart are a very lethal team.
When I read this book, it changed my life. Wintergirls is so much more to me than just a collection of pages. It has made me a stronger person, helped me fight my demons and I now feel like I’m not alone and so much more. It’s impacted me emotionally and mentally. Hundreds of tears have been shed, realizations have been made and I've stayed up many nights, terrified. Anderson has given me strength and assurance, knowing that I am not alone in my struggle and that there is always a means of getting better. I’ll end with the last few words of Wintergirls.
“There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.
I am thawing.”