Posted: Tuesday, July 3, 2012 9:08:00 PM
As a child, I felt insecure by my physical appearance. I was a lot bigger, fatter and more mature – looking than kids my age; therefore, whenever I did something, I would be penalized and verbally abused. I am sure adults didn’t mean any harm but to protect us children from getting injured but I still remember those countless moments when people unknowingly hurt me by sending daggers of word flying by and stabbing me right through my heart. One time, I was playing with an older friend. As reckless as we were, being playful, we took turns rolling each other in a carpet. We were having fun just like other kids until one chaperon came over and yelled at me. She said, “Why are you crushing this poor little girl under the carpet? With that size of yours, you can suffocate her!” When I heard this, I was truly shocked and hurt. Back then, I was also very shy so I couldn’t even try to explain to her what we were doing. Incidents like this continued occurring and every time it happened, it made me shrink on the inside. It caused me to become introverted and timid because I was afraid of what people might say about my height, weight, and look. However, even to a person like me who felt uncomfortable around others, there was something that healed my hurt feelings and helped me forget about my problems; this was music. Music was my true friend who would never judge me in any ways but would always accept me for who I am. This really helped me get through some tough times. Then, one day I came across a song called “Mean” by Taylor Swift. As I listened to this song, it made me think about the moments I was agonized because of what people said about me. What I liked about the lyrics was that it wasn’t just a stereotypical song about sex, love and money like people nowadays want to listen to. It was a song describing experiences that could have really hurt people’s feelings. Parts of the lyrics where I felt very much agreeable were when Taylor Swift wrote, “You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me. You have knocked me off my feet again feeling like I am nothing. You with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out, when I am wounded.” And “You have pointed out my flaws again as if I don’t already see them.” These words really came to me because it was what I had to face ever since I was young. This song changed me in a way where I don’t blame myself anymore for what happened because haters are going to hate and there’s nothing I can do to change them. Also, it helped me realize that words can have a greater impact than people think, so I should also watch out for what I say to other people.