Posted: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 3:21:03 PM
For the past few months I've been pondering my life.
What am I meant to do?
Why can't I be perfect like everyone else?
Why does it seem like death is a happier ending then starting over a new person?
I tried and tried and tried time and time again to be happy, like I used to be. I wake up and fake a smile. If others believe I am happy, maybe I will become that.
But it just doesn't happen. I just get more upset becuase I can't even confuse myself anymore. What is wrong with me? That black mass is taking over me. I have become a no one. I have resorted back to my old self. Alone. Black. Careless. Alone.
It's just so hard.