Posted: Wednesday, February 8, 2012 1:38:53 AM
Love; the one universal word everyone is constantly searching for. The movies, music, stories, and cliché sayings tell us it exists and is the best feeling in the world, but our loneliness and heartache tells us other wise. I grew up watching fairytale classics and had countless dreams of my prince charming. Young girls live with this vision of what men are like and how love should be but may never find it. Everybody wants to fall in love.
I had once thought I found the love I was looking for, the perfect boy. We started out as friends. He didn't judge me, But respected and cared for me. He posted tons of "Happy Birthday" posts on my facebook wall for my birthday, and that's how it all started. Texting day and night and movie dates every weekend. We went from spending a few hour together to spending all day and all night together, then losing sleep from the nightly phone calls and the dreams we shared of us jokingly being married in the future. As our feelings developed, the more time we spent together. Our friendship turned into a fling that progressed into a unspoken love but never a relationship where we could call each other our own. We went through periods in time where we would talk all the time and act as if we were a couple, then slowly begin to fight, then not talk at all. This cycle countined for a year. "Just friends," is, was, and always will be our label. He claims he loves me and knows my feelings as well, but constantly hurts me by being with others. Friends don't hurt friends. Love isn't supposed to hurt. The fairytales and story books don't tell you how much pain is caused and that sometimes there's isn't always a happy ending.
If it's meant to be, it will be. It hurts to see the one you love with many others, but maybe he/she wasn't meant for you. I may never be able to let go of that first love, but I will be able to move on. As the boy I love prepares to leave for college, I hope he meets someone that can treat him better than I ever did. At first, I didn't realize what he meant to me and how he consistently made me happy, but I didn't realize how little I meant to him as well. One day, everyone will realize the precious moments of love that we let pass us by.
To me, love isn't the perfect boy. It's the moments we spent together. Love isn't the perfect ending, but the adventure and journey along the way. Love isn't just a feeling, but a story. We may spend our entire lives in search of love, but instead, we should be creating it. One bad experience doesn't diminish the chance of finding love within another. No one knows who they will end up with, so don't base your life on a movie or story. Create your own.