Posted: Thursday, August 18, 2011 3:21:34 AM
If it were up to the majority of young adults to decide their career on the spot, most would say in the simplest terms, "I dunno." If the world depended on the shoulders of every pimple faced teenagers, who could have the ultimate solution to hunger or political dilemmas? I not only know what I want with my life, I've been grinding myself to the bone facing the reality that as challenging as making our dreams come true can really be, it seems to be worth every ounce of stress-induced trouble. I breathe, eat, obsess, and cherish writing. In the end, down to the wire, it's all I really know and anything I've ever wanted to take to the world.
In the center of pulsing night lights, and complete wholesome noise from taxi drivers with serious cases of road rage; I spent my summer absorbed in Manhattan, New York. Despite the unavoidable sewer scent that Febreeze has yet to advertise, New York was easily filled to the rim of fantastic memories that will last a lifetime. It's my dream home, not only for its convenient spot surrounding a bundle of famous publishing houses, but also for the pure energy surging out of every beautifully constructed skyscraper. Learning the subway system, walking down endless streets of excitement. Just looking up into the sky realizing I was in one of the most well known and utterly mind blowing cities I've ever laid eyes on. When I wasn't in the city that, truly never seems to sleep, I was preparing for my Freshman year and squeezing in extra bonding time for my novel in progress. Slowly shedding naive beliefs.
High school. Is there something I'm missing? Some bittersweet bite of wisdom someone will indulge me with, or is a midterm going to smack me square in the face with force? I can't seem to coax myself to have a day dream where I find myself naked in the school parking lot, or falling down a flight of stairs among peers. This is the year I stop keeping my mouth shut in the back of the class. I'll go in guns blazing, to either make or break the inevitable 4 years we all find ourselves stuck in.
I tend to lose myself in the idea of not succeeding at my one and only shot at a great future. Every worst fear coming into a cluster of anxiety and the possibility of mistakes melding, searing hot, buried in my chest. So I learn to stop, and take in the world around me. So that one day I have the confidence and wisdom to make something of myself, to improve someone's life with my words. As Ghandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." And that, is exactly what I aspire to do.